“So you feel like you have to do the same with Rhett?” Clover finishes, frowning.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. We grew up in this life, Clo. We’ve seen our mothers sacrifice for our fathers.” Rhett and Cara. Cara and Rhett. It’s what is supposed to be.
Clover turns to me, giving me the full Black-Banks stare. “Yes, our mothers sacrificed for our fathers. But that was their choice. They love them and knew that deep down our fathers would always put them first. They’d never put the club before them. You know that. I know that. Everyone knows that.”
I open my mouth to argue, but realize I don’t have anything to say. She’s right. No matter how much my father loved the Wind Dragons, my mother, my sister, and I always came first.
When she reads the realization on my face, she gives me a sad smile. “You don’t have to stay with Rhett because everyone thinks you’re destined, Cara. Being destined doesn’t mean he can take you for granted. And no one will feel like you failed if you chose a different path. I chose a different path.”
I sigh heavily. “I texted him to see if he was coming home last night. He didn’t, and never even replied. He called me earlier today and said he was busy with club shit.”
“Yeah, I hear they’ve been keeping him pretty busy,” she agrees, taking a sip of her drink and then putting it back down again. “You know I love Rhett. Hell, I would take a bullet for him. But I will not sit here and watch you waste away your life because of some image you had when you were sixteen! Is this the life you envisioned? Or better yet, is this the life you wanted?”
Her words reach a part of me that I’ve been burying. Realizing how long I’ve just been going through the motions, pretending that everything is fine.
Am I fine?
I don’t want to lose Rhett. He’s a part of me, and he’s been in my life since I can remember. He’s one of my best friends. But did we get it all wrong? What if that’s all we were meant to be?
Friends.
“Where is all of this coming from?” I ask. “You’ve always said that Rhett and I were meant to be together.”
“Maybe I was wrong,” she admits, showing me a picture on her phone. “Look at you here. Look at your smile. I haven’t seen that smile in so long.”
I stare at the picture of the three of us at our high school graduation. I can’t even recognize that girl anymore.
“I smile all the time.”
“It doesn’t reach your eyes like it used to,” she says. “I want that back for you. I want you to be happy and loved, and I think Rhett is falling short with that right now. He didn’t even reply to you last night? You live together! Have we set the bar so low for men that this is suddenly okay? I would kill Felix if he did that to me without a damn good reason.”
I scrub my hand down my face because she’s so right. I keep making excuses for him because he’s a biker and I grew up in the biker life. But Clover is accurate. My father never treated my mother this way once they committed to one another.
“I don’t think this is the life I imagined,” I admit to her, and to myself for the very first time. “Ideally I’d want someone who comes home to me every day, and my own family. I want to be happy and not wondering what the hell my man is doing every night.”
“And you deserve all of that, Cara. That and more,” she says gently. “It’s not too much to ask. I feel like we all pushed you into this, saying Rhett is the one for you, and now here we are. Maybe you shouldn’t listen to anything that I say from now on.”
I laugh out loud. “Things change, Clo. That doesn’t mean that you were wrong.”
At the time Rhett and I first got together, nothing felt more right. But people change.
I know that I have.
“Speak of the devil,” she mutters, eyes toward the entrance.
I know he’s here without looking, I can just sense it in the air. I usually recognize the sound of his bike but mustn’t have been paying attention over the music and the intense conversation.
I turn my head, and there he is.
Blue eyes.
Long blond hair.
Wind Dragons MC cut.
All the women turn to look at him, and I don’t blame them. He was born for this lifestyle. I just don’t know if I was.
“Hey,” he murmurs, kissing the top of my head, and then doing the same to Clover. “A little birdie told me that you both were here. You look beautiful, Cara.”
“Thank you,” I reply, watching as he takes a seat and calls the bartender over.
“I look amazing too, you don’t need to tell me,” Clover comments, easing the tension. “Now tell us, Rhett, where have you been all week? I tried to call you.”
“I’ve been busy,” he replies, turning to us. “Another round?”
We both stay silent. I arch my brow. Did he really think he was going to get away with that explanation?
He sighs and runs his hand through his hair. “Some shit went down this week. I had to take care of some stuff for the Prez. I’m sorry, Cara, about last night, and I’m sorry, Clo, for not calling you back. It’s been hectic.”
“Is everything okay?” Clover asks, frowning.
He nods. “Yeah, it’s all good now. Which is why I thought I’d come and try to make it up to you both with my presence.”
“You’re going to need something more valuable than that,” Clover teases with a nudge.
“Haha. How’s my goddaughter?” he asks Clover.
“You’d know if you came and visited,” she fires back, then sighs. “She is fine.”
That’s another thing, Rhett and I will always be Sapphire’s godparents, and even if we do ultimately split up, we’ll always have that tie, on top of many others.
“I’ll come and see her soon, I promise,” he replies, blue eyes softening. “I said I’m sorry—how long are you both going to be mad? Come on, I’ll pay for all the drinks it’s going to take to make you both happy again.”
“Better offer.” Clover smirks.
He turns to me and cups my face. “You aren’t as easily bought as Clo, are you?”
“What do you think?” I mutter, but I can feel the anger fade away. With the puppy dog eyes he gives me, it’s hard to stay mad at him. But the conversation with Clover has me seeing things a little differently, and now I’m seriously confused and questioning everything. What are we doing?
I want to ask him, are we happy?