She grinned when she saw him. “Thank you. How come you’re here?”
“Needed to chat with you.”
“Okay.” She stacked six loaves of bread, then turned to lean on the counter.
“I just had a therapy session, and I wanted to come and talk to you about it.”
“Of course. What’s on your mind?”
“I think I figured some stuff out. I don’t want to get into all the complex ins and outs of what Dad dying and Mum leaving did to me, but the bottom line is, I realise now that I never gave myself any credit for what I did do. Only hated myself for what I didn’t. And I’m really sorry for taking that out on you.”
“Luke, I—”
“No. Let me get this out. I completely overreacted when you and Matt got together. And I’m really sorry for that too. Because you’re a wonderful girl, and he’s a great guy. And you make a great fucking couple. And I tried to make it into something shit because of my own stuff. Neither of you deserved it. And finally, I’m sorry I’ve been hard to reach and harder to love. I’m working on it, I promise. I’ll do better.”
Izabel stepped in front of him and wrapped her arms around his waist, placing her head against his chest. “You’re an idiot.”
Luke huffed and placed his arms around her, hugging her back. “Not exactly the reaction I was expecting.”
Izabel leaned back a little to look at him. “You’re the best man on this planet. We’re all we’ve got.”
Tears stung his eyes at her use of the phrase they always used to say to each other. And yet, of late, he’d stopped. “I stopped saying that because you had Matt.”
“Even with Matt, you and I are all we’ve got. You’ve always thought you were a shit parent. But the truth is, you weren’t a parent at all. You’ve always been my brother. An amazing brother. Who also took on the jobs Mum and Dad should have been doing but couldn’t. You carried three jobs on your shoulders to be everything I needed. You remember the anger. But I remember the way you filled my bedroom with balloons for my sixteenth birthday. And the way you drove all the way to Blackpool to pick me up because a weekend away with the girls had turned sour. I remember watching Great Canal Journeys while eating a treat tea on a Friday because you’d let me pick whatever I wanted to eat. I remember our first Christmas with neither parent around when you bought me the hundred-quid trainers I wanted, when all I got you was a bar of Dairy Milk.”
“You weren’t working. I didn’t even expect the chocolate.”
“You’ll make a great dad to Cletus. And a great partner for Willow, if you let yourself. And you’ll always be the best brother there has ever been. So, please realise that. Because I love you and want you to be happy.”
His eyes filled with tears. He should feel like a pussy, but fuck it, happy tears were an upswing from anger. And Neil had assured him tears didn’t make him any less of a man.
“Thanks, Iz.”
“Anytime.”
“What are you and Matt doing tonight? Want to come over for dinner with me and Willow?”
“I’d love that.”
“Good. See you later then, yeah?”
“Definitely.”
He stepped back out into the sunshine. He’d spoken to Matt, Jase, and Izabel. Mending broken fences was good.
Making peace with himself felt better.
“Wake up, flower.”
Willow could hear the voice, somewhere down a dark tunnel where she couldn’t quite grasp where she was or why she was there.
“Willow?”
Something shook her, and she willed herself to pay attention, easing out of a deep sleep that had her anchored.
“What?” she muffled. The room was still dark.
“You need to get up, or we’re going to miss it.” Luke’s voice was whispered in hushed tones.
Rolling onto her back, she could make out the silhouette of him in the light from the hallway. “Where are we going?”
“I got inspired after Matt and Iz had left, and you’d gone to bed last night. Something I think you’ll like and might want to record. Dress warm, though. It’s still a bit chilly out.”
“It’s still dark,” she said, reaching for her phone. “Luke. It’s three thirty in the morning. What the hell?”
“Less complaining, more moving. Trust me.” He tugged back the covers.
“I hate you right now.”
Luke laughed. “Yeah, well. You’ll love me in about ninety minutes, so get your arse in gear, Warner. We need to be on the road in five.”
“It takes me five minutes to pee.”
He playfully pulled her to her feet. “Then you’ll be leaving dressed like that.”
“Fine, fine,” she grumbled, checking out his thick hoodie, jeans, and trainers.
It took seven minutes to use the bathroom, get dressed, and pack up some of her equipment. In the meantime, Luke had made her a travel mug of coffee, bundled two of the throws she’d bought, and grabbed the pillow off her bed.
“Just snooze and get comfy,” Luke said as they climbed into his van. He tucked one of the throws over her, then placed her pillow on her lap.
Once they were on the road, Luke put on some classic rock. Easy listening for a car ride. He had a good voice, she noticed, as he sang along to a song she didn’t recognise. His tone was soft, his pitch perfect.
It was still dark outside, and the roads were empty given the early hour. The van warmed up quickly, and the gentle hum of Luke’s singing lured her back to sleep.
Maybe it was five minutes or five days, she couldn’t tell, when Luke placed his hand on her knee. “We’ll be there soon.”
Still predawn, there was enough light in the sky to see the concrete and tarmac of the city had morphed into lush rolling hills. And lots of sheep. “Where are we?”
“The Peak District. About to climb to the top of Mam Tor.”
“Climb?” Willow looked down at her sneakers.
“Don’t worry. We park right near the summit and take some steps to the top. There’s no real rock climbing. But I thought you might want to see the sunrise, seeing it’s the solstice.”
Her heart jumped a little. It felt incredibly . . . special.
Romantic, even.
“For real?”
“Yeah. This is one of the best spots to see it come up. Never super busy.” He pulled his van into a wide parking spot in the National Trust parking lot. “You ready?”
“Yes. This is amazing.”
Luke pulled a few things out of the back of the truck. A picnic blanket, a backpack. “Take your throw and your coffee. It can get chilly at the top while we wait.”
The path from the car park started easy with stone, mud, and wood steps at a steady gait. Occasionally, she’d record a few seconds of it. Their feet together at the start. The trees and shrubs shielding them on all sides. When it began to open up and the steps turned to slabs of stone, becoming steeper momentarily.
Luke held out his hand to her. “Here.”
It was warm. Secure. He let go when the steps flattened into a rolling slope.
And then, the whole world opened up in front of her. Deep valleys fell away on each side. The wide peak tapered off into the distance. And the first shimmer of orange haze kissed the V of the valley.