I chuckle and text back.
Palmer: No. I WISH!
Laramie: Ugh, then what the hell are you doing? If he almost kissed you, why aren’t you making it actually happen?
Palmer: A patient with something stuck up their nose came by.
Laramie: Medical emergency! What was stuck up the patient’s nose?
Palmer: Does it matter?
Laramie: To me it does. You know how I watch the shit out of all of those medical shows. I need to know what it was.
Palmer: Uh it was some child with a dog named Chase up his nose.
Laramie: CHASE? From Paw Patrol! Oooo, what a twist. Did not see that coming. I would also like to know the diameter of that figurine. Either it was a small Chase or that kid has quite the set of nostrils.
Palmer: It looked pretty small, but it wasn’t the kid’s first offense according to the panicky mom.
Laramie: God, kids are the absolute tits. Look at this toy, I’m going to shove it up my nose, ruin everyone’s night, and laugh it off later while I make plans to do it again.
Palmer: That is scarily accurate.
Laramie: Three vengeful nieces will prepare you for the way they think. Trust me, that kid thinks he’s the king of Toyland right now.
Palmer: Well, he ruined my first kiss with Dr. Beau.
Laramie: The nerve. Paint the picture, let me see if we can get you back in the mood when he gets back. What were you doing?
Palmer: Building a puzzle.
Laramie: *Blinks* A . . . puzzle? Like a real jigsaw puzzle?
Palmer: Yes, of a gardenscape.
Laramie: Oh damn. Babe, you’re going to have to take your shirt off and shimmy your titties at him to get him back in the mood. There is no way a gardenscape jigsaw puzzle is going to do it on its own. Especially after he has to dig for gold in a little punk’s nostril.
Palmer: That’s what I was afraid of. So, you think I should take my shirt off? That’s pretty forward, I’m not sure I can do that.
Laramie: What are you wearing now?
Palmer: Long story, but his clothes. Mine were dirty.
Laramie: Dear Jesus, I just had an idea! Does he have any of his lab coats in his apartment?
My eyes land on the coatrack near his door, which does in fact have a few lab coats on it.
Palmer: Yes . . .
Laramie: Time to strip, babe. Wear nothing but the lab coat, and when he arrives, tell him the doctor is in the house.
Palmer: I think you fail to realize that is something I would SO not do.
Laramie: Fine, then let the puzzle carry the mood for you. Good luck getting your first kiss fifty years from now.
Palmer: Do you really think he’s not going to be in the mood when he gets back?
Laramie: He just plucked a dog from a schnoz. There’s no recovering after that unless you take it up a notch. You’ve wanted him for a while, so go get him.
I nibble on the corner of my lip and study the lab coats from the couch.
Palmer: I don’t know . . .
Laramie: Do it. You know you want to.
Palmer: I can’t believe I’m actually considering this.
Laramie: Do it. Do it. Do it then thank me later.
Palmer: Gahhhhh. I’m going to do it.
Laramie: That’s my girl.
I think I’ve lost my freaking mind.
Setting my phone down, I stand from the couch before I lose my nerve and go over to the coatrack, where I pluck one of the lab coats down.
This might be taking a bold step, going from first kiss to naked in a lab coat, but I know that’s where this was going. The look in his eyes, the little touches here and there. The compliments, the confessions. It’s been a buildup. Add on the storm relentlessly setting the backdrop, and we’re golden.
And I hate to admit it, but Laramie is right. A gardenscape puzzle isn’t going to make things sizzle when he gets back. But this will.
Before I can change my mind, I quickly drop my pants and take off the sweatshirt Beau gave me. Heart pounding, I throw the lab coat over my shoulders. It’s way too big, but I make the best of it by buttoning the bottom button so my southern area is covered, and then I roll the sleeves up to my elbows. I leave the rest of the coat untouched, letting it show off the middle of my body but not revealing too much, just enough to gather his attention.
I spot an extra stethoscope on his coatrack as well and grab that too. I drape it around my neck and then casually swing the end around.
I pick up my phone, angle high, and take a picture that I then send to Laramie.
His response is immediate.
Laramie: Look out for incoming erections. Dr. Beau is going to need some medical attention in his pants when he gets back.
I laugh out loud just as I hear the stairs to the front door creak. I drop my phone and get in position on the edge of the couch, lifting one leg to rest on the back while the other is on the floor, keeping me balanced. I adjust the coat so it covers everything up but also shows off enough, puff out my chest, and put on a smile just as the door opens, revealing Beau . . . and another man.
“Palmer, have you . . . oh my God . . .”
“Oh my God!” I shout, pulling a pillow from the couch and dragging it over my body.
“Oh my God,” the other guy says, covering his eyes. “Jesus, I’m sorry.”
“No, I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “I was—I, uh . . . I didn’t know . . . was there a doctor in the house? I mean, I’m the doctor. No, I’m not a doctor, just a doctor of boners.” I cover my eyes. “No, not boners, this was a boner, I mean bonehead move. I’m not naked.” I try to hide my face in the pillow. “I’m just . . . uh . . . I’m practicing for when I get my medical degree. Is this . . . is this not the proper attire?”
“Jesus, Beau. I didn’t know you had company. I’ll leave.”
I pop my head up, pillow still covering me as I stand from the couch and slowly back away from the door. “No, don’t leave. I was, uh . . . I was just getting ready to leave. You know, all those medical books I need to read.”
“Palmer,” Beau says, walking toward me.
“Dr. Beau, it was a pleasure getting to know you.” My eyes widen as I look at the guy. “Not like that. Nothing happened. I don’t mean getting to know him in a personal way, like naked, but you know, just intellectually. I’m not . . . I know how this looks, but I promise, it’s not what it seems. My clothes are drying, actually, and this just happens to be something—” I sigh, giving up. “I’m not a naked lunatic.”
“Palmer,” Beau says again, this time closing the space between us, a grin pulling at the corner of his lips. “This is my cousin Roger. He missed the ferry because of the storm and was hoping to spend the night.”
“Oh, sure, yup.” I thumb behind me. “I was just heading out. All research here has been conducted. No need to worry—I’ll be out of your hair in a few.” Pillow in hand, stethoscope dangling from my neck, I take off toward Beau’s bedroom, where I quickly close the door behind me and cover my eyes with my hand. Embarrassment swallows me whole.
I’m going to kill Laramie.
The doorknob turns behind me, and the door opens a crack. “Palmer, let me in.”
“Um, no thank you,” I say.
“Palmer.”
“Really good. Just changing. Be out shortly.”
He eases the door open carefully, letting his large frame in before he shuts it behind him. I lean against the wall, still clutching the pillow, completely and utterly humiliated as I stare up at him.