“I can’t imagine. So, what was your role besides baby momma?”
This made me chuckle. Baby momma. He was funny.
“Everything. Cook, clean, sew clothes, garden for our vegetables, make sure the cows were fed and milked. Just about everything. It was always Sybil this and Sybil that. It was never ending. There were nights when I hadn’t slept a wink because I was up taking care of kiddos and was expected to be bushy tailed and ready to go the next morning to start it all over again.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a life, babe.”
I shrugged. “At first, I didn’t know any different. It was our way. We did what we were told and stayed in line so we didn’t get the belt. As I got older, and the youngsters were passed on to my younger siblings, it got a little easier because I could sleep at night. But it was my job to coordinate all of it.”
My feet were loving every second of this. Me, I wasn’t put off. I actually enjoyed talking to him like this.
“What made you decide to leave? I know Ensley’s story, but they didn’t tell me yours.”
I felt good about that just because I wanted something to be mine and not shared into the world. It was a small thing, but it was mine.
The sounds were hard to ignore. Clicks and scratches filled the room with noise. When I opened my eyes, Cyrus was standing there with something in her hand. I felt my eyes narrow, confused. I studied her for long moments, putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. The color in her face drained out? and fear like no other glistened in her eyes.
She was close to crying. It hit me suddenly. She was leaving. She was finally getting out of this place and getting away. It was an impulse decision, but I threw back the covers and got out of bed, going right to Cyrus.
Terrified wasn’t even the word to describe how Cyrus looked. She probably thought I was going to run and rat her out to our sisters or our parents. That was what we had been taught, though. Keep everyone together, and no one leaves. Ever.
I was done being here. Done with the rules. Done with the brutality. Done with having who I was going to marry thrown in my face. Not to mention he was my cousin. How was that even possible? Yet, it was all we knew, and it was time to break the cycle.
Even if it was my little sister taking the first steps. I leaned into her and whispered, “I’m coming with you.”
Cyrus’ eyes grew huge, and I knew she was in shock. Me. the oldest. Would never leave this life. I was to take over everything when my mothers got older. I was the next generation in this jacked up life.
No one had ever asked what I wanted. No one even cared. I had no thoughts. I had no opinions. I was a robot doing what I was supposed to do when I was supposed to do it. Not even a single complaint. Why? Because complaints came with a complementary belt to the backside. No thank you.
I didn’t wait for Cyrus to respond. I knew we only had a short window of opportunity to really get away. Heading to my dresser, I pulled out a few pairs of underwear, socks, and bra. In the closet I carefully pulled a couple of dresses off the hangers as to not make any noise.
“I’ll get a bag on the way out,” I whispered, coming out of the closet and looking at my sisters still in bed sleeping. Guilt formed in my gut. Leaving them behind wasn’t what I wanted, but I had to get away from here. That guilt would just have to come with me.
If we didn’t make it out of the house, we’d both end up punished. That wasn’t an option for either of us. The guilt and fear had its grip on me with every step I took. The punishment would be brutal, and there would never be another chance for us to even think to get out. We’d be locked up. Forever.
This had to work.
Failure was not an option for either of us.
While I didn’t know the reasons Cyrus wanted to leave, I at least knew mine, and it would have to do until we got out.
Cyrus ended up stuffing my things inside her bag because my arms couldn’t hold any more. I wasn’t thinking right. To the point that I grabbed my ‘stuff’. We weren’t allowed to have possessions. If there was a toy in the house, it was everyone’s—it didn't to anyone belong to anyone in particular.
But I had my rocks, acorns, and things I'd found outside. It wasn’t much, but they were mine, and I was bringing them with.
Stupid when you really think about it because it should have been me waking my sisters up to come with us, but I knew they would scream for our parents, and I didn’t want to take that risk.
We said nothing. We made not a sound as we walked down the small hallway on very careful feet. Fear wrapped around me like a snake ready to strike at any given moment. It felt like walking on eggshells, knowing one wrong move would break the egg and send the people in this house on alert. It was the unknown that scared me when it came to this place.
I stopped Cyrus with a hand to her shoulder, mouthing, “Dad’s with her tonight,” and pointed to the door. Dad’s schedule was so repetitive. He rarely changed things up when it came to sleeping with his wives.
My heartbeat picked up speed. We couldn’t make a noise outside this door. Our father was a light sleeper, saying he needed to keep an eye on all of us. He’d bolt out of bed in a second, and there would be hell to pay.
I swore this place had boobytraps all over it.
On a nod, Cyrus looked down at her feet. Thankful for the small bit of light coming in through the minuscule window, we found the floorboard we needed to stay away from. Cyrus pointed down, telling me it was noisy. We both stepped over it without making a sound.
We were able to get just beyond the bedroom door, but my relief was short-lived as we arrived at the stairs. The home was older than dirt, and my father had my brothers fixing things all the time.
Cyrus flashed my fingers to dictate where to skip the noisy stairs, and I nodded, knowing this, but with the adrenaline pumping it was good to have a reminder.
We began to descend, praying for no noise. Not sure how we made it all the way down without a sound, but once we were on the landing and took the final step, we both turned to each other and smiled.
A slight feeling of accomplishment washed over me briefly, but we weren’t free yet. I darted off through the house to find a bag, and I had a few places where I hid a few things.
When I got to the door, Cyrus already had her shoes on, and I did the same as fast and quiet as I could.
Our exit was within reach. We were actually going to get out of this hell-hole. Only the door kept us from the freedom we needed so badly.
Cyrus unlocked the door and the tick of the lock sounded like a beating drum. So loud. A pure signal to anyone in this house.
A light clicked on from upstairs, and I stopped breathing.
I could tell Cyrus was frozen in fear because she wasn’t moving. Her hand started to shake as her head turned toward the light, just waiting for someone to come down those stairs and nail us.
Our time was up. We either opened this door now, or we’d get caught by whoever was awake. We were not getting caught. We were too close to allow that to happen.
Being insistent, I gave Cyrus a push, and it only took moments for her to get back in the game. Cyrus opened the door, and we ran as fast as our feet could take us into the dark of night. We were gone. The only thing on my mind was we did it.
“Damn,” he responded with a shocked look on his face.
“Ensley gets the credit. If it weren’t for her I wouldn’t have left.” I tossed my head back on the headrest and closed my eyes briefly.