“First things first, are you happy with your teaching assistant position with Tristan on a base level? Is he clear and concise about the things he needs from you, and do you feel it’s working in your favor to further your career and education?”
“I learn something every single day. We work quite well together. In the basics, I’m able to anticipate him, which he seems to appreciate. I sit in on many of the courses I’m not enrolled in while I’m doing my work for him. I find something in every lecture and don’t have a problem adding in or correcting him if his facts aren’t always accurate.”
“Correcting him? That’s not a trait I see in his peers often. Tristan is very meticulous with his research, so I’d be very interested to know the things that he needs to be corrected on.”
“It’s mostly things that have been altered or changed in recent years as new discoveries are made and new and improved techniques are implemented. He seems to handle it well.”
I hope I’m able to hide my blush, because the actual truth is every time that I correct him in front of a class, I’m fucked seven ways to Sunday later that night.
“I’m glad to hear that. He’s had a run of bad luck with TAs in his past. I’m glad to see he’s met his match, as it were.”
“Bad luck? How so?”
“Tristan has high expectations and he expects anyone he works with to raise themselves to his standards quickly. Not everyone is able to do so.”
“He tested me the first day in class. He knows I’m prepared. I would never let him down.”
“No. I’m sure you wouldn’t. Your grade and recommendation would depend on it.”
I let those statements sink in a little bit. I don’t want to react in haste, but the more they simmer inside me, the more I know I need to say something not only for him and also for me.
“Excuse me, Professor Griffin, but are you asking me if I’m doing this for a grade?”
“Define ‘doing this.’” She adds air quotes with her hands for effect.
“This, as in developing a closeness with Tristan Sloane,” I say outright, which doesn’t seem to surprise her at all.
“I, as a person of influence at this school, and as a trusted advisor of Tristan, need to make sure that he’s protected… but not just him, Nora. I’m looking across all avenues here.”
“Trust me, Professor, no one would protect him like I do. I do my best because it matters to me, for me. That’s what my schooling is about. I met Tristan when I didn’t know he was my teacher and he didn’t know I was his student. Those are titles. We’re humans first.” I can feel this emotion I can only liken to anger quickly rise inside me. “I won’t apologize for being with him. Ever. I know he feels the same. Isn’t that what any relationship should have?”
“It is.” She nods and takes a sip of her tea. “But I’m also, as a woman, making sure that you are not being… well, for lack of a better term, being coerced or taken advantage of in any capacity.”
“Is that honestly what you think about someone who is supposed to be like a son to you?”
“No, it’s not. Not even a little, Nora, in fact, I’d be shocked if you told me that you did, in actuality, feel pressured. But I’d feel I hadn’t done my duty as a woman and as a colleague if I didn’t at least ask.”
“May I be blunt?”
“Haven’t you been already?”
I do smirk a little at that question. “You don’t approve of me working for him nor us exploring other options, do you?”
Professor Griffin takes another sip from her mug. “It’s not about my approval. Tristan deserves some happiness. His darkness has overtaken him for too long. Nora, I like you. I like your candor. You haven’t sat here trying to kiss my ass or kiss Tristan’s. I just want you to know what you could be up against, even without official policies.”
“We are both fully aware of the implications and the opinions that will be given when our relationship is widely known. We have spoken of this and have mutually decided that we shouldn’t be worried. Do you feel there could be something on the horizon that we should be aware of?”
A commotion to our right pulls my attention for a moment. A patron in a black ball cap pulled to their brow had bumped into a server, sending the tray of drinks clattering to the floor. For just a moment, a split second that passes so quickly, I feel like I smell a hint of musk and birchwood cologne, Evan’s cologne, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
“Nora? You just turned white again. I need to ask you again, are you ill….or something else?”
“I need to get out of here. I want to go back to his office. I can eat there. Just not here. Please?”
I’m trying everything I can not to unnecessarily panic. I’m getting better, but sometimes I still can’t do it. Who I need is Tristan.
I know Professor Griffin needs a better answer. I wish I could give her one. The to-go box I carry in my hands rattles on the way back to Tristan’s office. The door that was once locked when we left is now open a crack. There is a light on and shuffling around inside. My mind goes to a thousand different places. I take a step or two back as the noises grow closer and the door opens wide. I gasp as a figure fills the doorway. Tristan.
Not caring if there are other students or colleagues of either professor around, I dive into his arms. At first his embrace is loose yet familiar. Then my body tells him I need more, much more.
“What happened? Nora, what is it?”
My thoughts are locked away. I don’t want to give rein to them by speaking it.
“Tristan, bring her out of the hallway.”
He keeps me in his arms, but we retreat to the confines of his office. I glance around to see if there’s anything out of the ordinary. I take a deep breath. Nothing. I don’t smell what I did just moments ago.
Tristan whispers near my ear. “Petal, I need you to tell me what happened. Did you sense something?”
“We,” I pause for a breath then slowly release it, “we were out having lunch and the restaurant was crowded. I smelled the cologne that… that he wears. It brought back memories and I just freaked out a little, I think. I’m okay, it just caught me off guard.” I rest my forehead on his chest. “Professor Griffin helped get me out of there.”
“You’re safe here. I promise you. Anna, thank you for returning her safely.”
The professor takes the food container from my hand and places it on the book she returned, which perches on the corner of Tristan’s desk. “You’re welcome. I…we had a nice conversation prior and I think we understand each other well. Nora, I hope you can return to a more peaceful place.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Professor.”
“Tristan calls me Anna. You may also call me Anna when we’re in private. You have nothing to be sorry for. I don’t need to know what happened today. Just take care of yourself. Be careful. Both of you.”
I don’t have to see Tristan’s face to know that he’s looking at her with absolute thanks and gratitude, enough for the both of us.
And soon, we are alone.
“Tristan… Please kiss me.”