“I don’t want it, either.” Booker’s voice was low, emotionless. “I’ve got a good gig. I like what I do.”
Jaime’s knee jackhammered. “Guys, we’re talking about an NHL team. Kurt’s team. He bought it for us.”
Declan wondered how much longer they’d spend ignoring the elephant in the room. Spearing the steaks, he dropped them onto the platter. Well, it wasn’t his place to bring it up. “Let’s eat.” With his boot, he kicked his chair back and fell into it. “Where’s your family?” he asked Jaime. “I wanted to say hello to your parents.”
Staring at his steak, Jaime looked like he’d lost his mojo. “Maddy’s doing study abroad in Paris, so my folks went over there to get her settled in.”
Life really had changed for the Dupree family. Used to be, Jaime missed half their practices because he was needed on the ranch.
“And I finally got Elliott to give up his rodeo dreams and go to college.”
“Still killing people’s dreams, huh?” No, Booker didn’t actually say that out loud. But Declan figured that’s what the guy was thinking.
Other than the clatter of silverware on plates and the rustle of wind through trees, the patio went quiet. Jaime probably figured he had one shot to reunite the group for Kurt’s sake, but Declan didn’t see it happening without addressing the issue that had torn them apart. The only way around is through. “So, that night.” He kicked his leg out under the table, nicking Jaime’s boot. His friend shot him a resigned look. “We’re going to have to talk about it.”
“Yeah.” Jaime set his fork down. “I’m sorry, you guys. I…” He had a strangled look, and Declan wanted to step in and save him, but this conversation had to happen. So, he let his friend find his own way. It took a minute to pull himself together, and when he did, Jaime was strong. “I’ve never forgiven myself for dragging everyone into my pity party that night. The one time I do something selfish…” He took a moment before looking Booker right in the eyes. “I blew up your career, and I’m so damn sorry.”
Booker didn’t say a word. He sat so still, Declan didn’t know if he was breathing.
“It wasn’t just you,” Cole said. “I was all-in. Hell, it was my idea to take my dad’s plane. If we’d stayed on your ranch, nothing would’ve happened.”
With a wry smile, Jaime shook his head. “All these years, I never imagined anyone else was beating himself up over that night. I thought you all hated me. And you had every right to.” Jaime pressed his palms onto the table. “I didn’t mean to fuck up everyone’s lives. I just wanted one more night—”
“Before our lives changed,” Cole said quietly.
“And yours didn’t.” There wasn’t even a hint of anger in Booker’s tone.
And yet everyone stopped chewing to look at him. If Declan’s stomach had twisted, he couldn’t imagine what Jaime was experiencing now that their friend had flat-out set the blame on his plate.
But instead of being beaten down, Jaime said, “Yeah, but I was happy for you. I was. I just—”
“Look, I get it,” Cole said. “We’d worked our asses off to get to that point, and it was all about to pay off. Any of us would’ve been crushed if our plans had blown up like that.”
“But that’s not the point. Booker said no. He was leaving the next day. I should’ve dropped it.” Jaime lowered his head in his hands. “I never should’ve sent the text in the first place.”
They’d all felt like shit the night they’d learned Jaime wasn’t going to Canada. His parents had broken the news that the ranch was in the red, and they couldn’t afford to keep it. He’d made the choice to stay home and help them save it.
So, instead of playing junior division hockey in Vancouver—given how much hockey he’d missed to pitch in on the dude ranch, Kurt had figured he could benefit from the extra two years of play—he’d stay in Calamity while Declan headed off to University of Michigan, Cole started second string for the Wyoming Renegades, and Booker…man. He’d gotten drafted by the Los Angeles Kings.
He’d been that good.
“I love this ranch,” Jaime said. “You know I do. But I wanted to live on my own. I wanted to play hockey.”
“I get that.” Declan looked at the others. “We all get that.”
“You said no.” Jaime held his gaze. Then, he looked at Booker. “Both of you said no.”
“Not me,” Cole said. “And I got drunk at the cabin, too. It wasn’t just you.”
“Nothing would’ve happened if I hadn’t sent that fucking text. I’d do anything to go back and make a different decision.” For a long, tension-filled moment, Jaime looked down at his clasped hands. And then he addressed the three of them. “But I can’t. It happened, and here we are. Kurt’s giving us a path back to each other.”
Grabbing his beer bottle, Booker scraped his chair back. “Anybody need a refill?”
But Jaime held his gaze. “I really hope we can get past it.”
Booker’s gaze dropped to his once-badly injured legs and stayed there for a tension-filled moment. Since his family had left town and cut contact, no one knew the extent of his injuries or how his recovery had gone. So, right then, Declan was pretty damn sure that was all any of them were thinking about. What happened to you? Are you okay?
Finally, without looking at anyone, Booker turned and headed for the house.
“That was a stupid thing to say.” Jaime scrubbed his face with both hands. “Hard to get past it when he lives with the damage every day.” Drawing in a breath, he gave the remaining two guys an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. Tonight should’ve been about Kurt, about remembering him and appreciating everything he did for us.” He looked to the kitchen. “I don’t know what to do, how to make it right.”
“You said your apology, but now we have to hear Booker out. He never got to yell at us.” Declan got up.
“Where’re you going?” Jaime asked.
“To get Booker back out here so we can finally get it all out.” As he crossed the patio, he heard the nicker of horses and distant laughter. Woodsmoke from a bonfire scented the air. He slid the screen door open and headed into the kitchen.
But his friend wasn’t there. And while he put in an effort to look around, Declan already knew. So, after checking the driveway for confirmation, he headed back outside. “He’s gone.”
“He left without saying goodbye?” Jaime sounded surprised.
“Yep.”
“Fuck.” Jaime let out a breath. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Maybe you can’t.” And that was something they’d all have to live with.
Chapter Five
“Well, that sucked.” Declan sat in the dark of his friend’s truck.
The engine idled, and Cole’s frame barely fit the driver’s seat. He was a big, muscular guy, movie star-handsome like his dad. He’d always been happy and easy-going. Declan had never seen him this…contemplative. “I can’t believe Kurt’s gone.”