“Can you press charges on kids?”
“Sure, there’s a juvenile court, but that wasn’t the point. We were these little shits who’d gotten away with skateboarding in town and parkour at the high school because no one could control us. Our parents grounded us, took away our bikes, our allowance…you name it, but we only got more and more reckless.” Absently, he touched the scar on his jaw. “And then this guy, the one you’d sometimes see in town or driving down the road, the one people whispered about because he was a fucking legend, made us an offer. He said hockey had worked for him, and he was willing to teach us the game. He told our parents it would channel our energy into the sport, so that we’d become good at one thing instead of being general assholes.”
“And it worked. You all became hockey greats.” She said it with a teasing tone. “Maybe if I’d played the game, he’d have wanted me around, too.”
“Doesn’t it get tiring? Repeating the same lines over and over?”
Underneath the sting of embarrassment, the truth rang like a bell. I’m like my mum. “Yes.” How awful. The one thing I can’t stand about her is the thing I’ve adopted.
“So, if you want to hear something different, just ask. Don’t play the same refrain.”
“That’s fine for you to say, but nobody can give me the answers I’m looking for. Kurt’s gone, and he can’t explain why he gave up on me. He’d fought tooth and nail for that custody arrangement where I came out every summer and spent every other holiday with him. And it just stopped. I made it hard for him when I was six, and he backed off. So, I’m sorry if you don’t like the woe-is-me thing, but honestly? That’s where I am right now.”
He touched her arm, looking her in the eyes. “I don’t know why he gave up, but I do know he loved you.” He glanced down at his hand, looking a little confused. Then, he let her go. “The only story I ever heard was that you didn’t want to come out here anymore. It upset you too much, so he stopped forcing you.”
“But he could have come to see me. He could’ve called me or taken me somewhere. For goodness, sake, he could’ve sent me a birthday card.” Alone in this living room with a man who’d inked Kurt’s memory onto his body, she just wanted the damn truth.
Why did you give up on me?
“I don’t know why he didn’t do any of those things. You should ask your mother about that, but I do know your father was a great man.”
“Then why did his lawyer deliver a eulogy? All the hockey boys were sitting there. Why didn’t any of you get up and speak?”
“Like everything else, Kurt planned his funeral. It’s what he wanted.”
“He wanted it to start with, ‘No one liked Kurt Grevers?’”
“Well, I don’t know about that. I just know he didn’t want a bunch of people giving speeches about him.”
“That was a strange way to talk about him. No one likes Kurt Grevers.”
“He was talking about his reputation in hockey. Kurt always said he wasn’t there to make friends. He was there to help the team win the cup. They gave him shit for not going to baby showers and weddings, but he wasn’t a social man. He’d rather be alone in his home than at a party. But I can tell you for sure, they respected the hell out of him.”
“Why did you like him so much?” She didn’t like exposing her underbelly to this big, bad, hockey player, but she felt safe with him. Like she could let down her guard. For the first time in her life, she could talk about her father’s rejection. Sometimes, it felt as though the jealousy that he’d chosen the boys over her would eat her alive.
But Declan wasn’t repulsed by her weakness. Just the opposite. His gaze brushed over her like a caress, and it was the first bit of softness she’d seen from him. “I liked him because he cared about me.”
“Did you not get along with your family?”
“It was just me and my grandfather, and we got along just fine. But the other guys, they’ve got siblings, aunts, uncles, grandparents. Kurt and the guys were family to me in a way I wasn’t for them.”
She glanced at the tattoo on his chest. “You were like the son he never had.”
“Not really, no. He treated us all the same.”
“And yet you’re the one sitting in his living room right now.”
A grin cracked his rugged façade, giving her a glimpse of the little boy he’d once been. “I told you why he chose me. I’m the only one who gets what this land means to him.”
“You’re the only one who needs what this land means to him.” The others had their own family legacies. “Where does your grandfather live?”
“He died six and a half years ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry.” He really did have no one. Now, she truly understood why he’d gotten so angry about her wanting to sell the ranch.
“In any event, I know he loved you because of the way he talked about you.” And just like that, the little boy got swallowed up by the badass hockey player.
Already, she missed him. That little window into his true nature felt like a gift. And she wanted it back.
“I remember this one time, I came into the house and he was sitting at the table”—he gestured toward the kitchen—“drinking coffee and reading something on his laptop. He was smiling, and I asked him what was up, and he said his daughter had won some big equestrian award.”
“Are you joking? When was this? I know my mum wasn’t feeding him information.” Warmth suffused her. How had he known something like that? Had he followed her social media? “Especially something as silly as that award.”
“He couldn’t have been prouder when you got into Cambridge.”
“Oh, well, that’s a Crutchley thing.”
“Why do you knock yourself down like that? It’s weird.”
“I’ve no idea.” She laughed to cover her embarrassment. “But that’s a very good question. I guess…I didn’t grow up playing a sport or an instrument. I studied the Classics at uni. I just don’t have any skills.” She tipped her head back, gazing up at the wooden beams crossing the ceiling. “As ridiculous as it sounds, I was raised to marry well.”
“You won an award for riding horses. And getting into Cambridge’s a big one.”
“It is…unless you’re a Crutchley—” She caught herself. “You’re right. It is.” But really, now that she was thinking about it, her parents had never encouraged her to have a career. She was raised to follow in her mum’s footsteps of hosting parties and attending charity events. “To be honest, there are only two times in my life I’ve ever felt true pride.”
“When?”
“When I pull off a successful auction, everyone looks at me like I’m a superstar. In all the years the event’s been held, no one’s brought in as much money. It’s the one thing I’m good at.”
“And the second time?”
“When I got my first paycheck. It wasn’t much, but I’d earned it. It sounds silly but paying my bills and not going into debt makes me unbelievably proud of myself.”