Those people mourned a loved one who was no longer alive. In a lot of ways, that seemed easier. I was stuck in this weird limbo of knowing she was out there but lost to me all the same. Each time I left my house, I looked for her. Wondered if that would be the day I’d finally run into her. I saw her face in crowds. Heard her laugh when there was no one around. I couldn’t step outside without the wind whispering my name in her voice. She was a ghost who haunted my every breath. There was no closure to be had because I knew, if I just went to her, I could end my suffering altogether. Only I feared that it would reignite hers.
My therapist had come up with the idea to separate the difference between Remi and Sally. To mourn the loss of one while celebrating the life of another. Desperate not to lose her own son to the darkness, my mom had been all over it. She’d thrown a huge party for our family, including a whole damn tree she’d planted in her backyard. I’d balked at the idea of a celebration of life at first. It seemed so stupid and pointless. However, as Tyson, Cassidy, my parents, and I all sat around telling stories, both hilarious and heartbreaking, I had to admit that it eased the ache inside my chest.
And now, as I lay on my floor of my bedroom after packing up her belongings so I could deliver them to her house, I was faced with the paralyzing task of welcoming that pain once again. For two months, I’d had her back. Two of the most magical months of my life. Losing her felt like I was being torn in half all over again.
This time would be different though. Not having begged for her forgiveness didn’t mean I was okay with this bullshit move to Savannah. It was going to take some time, but I would chase that woman to the ends of the Earth. I could give her time. I’d waited this long to get her back; another month while she was sorting through her emotions wouldn’t kill me. It might feel like it some mornings, but I’d survive. Fate had my back on this one.
Or at least that was what I’d hoped before my phone started ringing.
Groaning, I snagged it off the floor beside me. Aaron’s name flashed on my screen.
“What’s up?” I answered.
“Okay, dumb question, but is…uh…Remi with you?”
“No. She stormed out of here about twenty minutes ago with Sugar. She’s probably back at the hotel by now. Why?”
His voice took on a tone that I’d unfortunately had the displeasure of hearing entirely too many times. “Because her car’s in the driveway with Sugar inside of it, but she’s nowhere to be found.”
I bolted upright, as if the floor had suddenly become electrified. “She left Sugar in the car? Did you look in the house?”
“Yeah. Front yard, backyard… I even drove around the block and she’s nowhere.”
“Did you track her phone?”
“It’s in her car along with her purse.”
That part didn’t surprise me, but something wasn’t right. It was hot out, Georgia’s summer in full swing. There was no way she would have left Sugar in the car unattended. Not when the house and air conditioning were only a few steps away.
A million different scenarios—none of them good—bombarded my mind.
As the reigning king of overreaction, I did everything I could to shake off the unease swelling in my stomach. It was a fifteen-minute drive from my place to hers, so she couldn’t have been gone long. Perhaps she’d just walked over to the neighbor’s house for one reason or another. She’d never been particularly close to the older couple next door, but it was Remi. Anything was possible.
I stood and glanced around the room. She’d asked for space. Storming over there like a SWAT team wasn’t going to win me any points. Though I had promised to bring her stuff. She couldn’t very well be mad about that. I hadn’t made it to the boxes in the attic yet, but I had more than enough to warrant a first trip.
“Go ask the neighbors and call me back. I’m supposed to be dropping her stuff off anyway. I’ll head that direction now.”
“Holy shit,” he breathed. “Is that why she has Sugar? She asked for all her stuff back?”
I gritted my teeth, not eager to be the bearer of bad news, especially not with Aaron. He was going to lose his shit when he found out she was planning to move. Better he lost it on me than her though.
“Umm, yeah. She mentioned getting a place down in Savannah for a month or so.” I decided to leave out the until she could find something more permanent detail she’d dropped on me.
“Fuck,” he croaked. “I knew this was going to happen again. I’m going to lose her, aren’t I?”
“There is no again here. You can’t even compare what happened in the past to what’s happening now. She’s not Sally this time, Aaron. She’s not gonna go off the deep end and refuse to speak to you again. She loves you. She’s hurting and she’s angry, but she’ll come around. She just needs time.”
“She’s had time!”
“Yeah, I think we can all agree, after the last eight months, it’s going to take a little longer than three days. And trust me, nobody hates that more than me. But let’s focus on what’s happening now. You go ask the neighbors if they’ve seen her and I’ll be there soon.”
His voice was strained, but he managed to get out a, “Yeah. Okay. You’re right.”
God, I prayed I was right.
“Okay, call me if you hear anything.” I hung up, closed up the boxes, and slipped my shoes on. I grabbed my wallet and my keys off the bar, and when I was halfway to my car, my phone once again rang in my hand.
“Hello,” I answered.
“False alarm,” Aaron announced. “I called Charlie, the guy who lives across the street. He said he saw her out front talking with Mark when he left for the grocery store. I’m sure they probably just ran an errand or something.”
I narrowed my eyes, an unexpected sense of unease filling my gut. “Has she even spoken to Mark since shit hit the fan?”
“Not that I know of.”
“She was pretty pissed when she left my place. Friend or not, I’m gonna go out on a short limb here and say she’s not just off running errands with the guy like it’s any given Tuesday. Especially not when she left Sugar in the car.”
“What are you saying?” he asked skeptically.
I shook my head, that unease in my stomach turning into a boulder. “I don’t know, but something doesn’t seem right here. Get Mark on the phone. I’m on my way.”
Remi
My entire face throbbed and my head pounded as I slowly roused to consciousness. It took several seconds for my foggy brain to clear enough so I could make sense of where I was, and even then, I still couldn’t fully comprehend what the hell was happening.
We were in a vehicle, traveling down the road. I was folded over on myself, my back aching at the position I had been in for who knew how long. Mark’s voice echoed throughout the cab of what I assumed was his truck, a sharp contrast to the man who had put me there to begin with. It was the memory of his hand landing hard across my face that caused me to jerk upright. As I pressed my back into the door, the armrest bit sharply into my already sore flesh.
I forced air into my lungs in a pathetic attempt to steel myself and then looked over to where the deceptively gentle voice was coming from. Mark’s gaze cut to mine, his eyes narrowed, and his smile fell immediately.