He kisses me as we fall from climax, our bodies soaked from rain and sweat while our tangled breaths become one. We may not have our lives figured out, but that was a damn good start to our forever.
It’s midnight when I finally drag Anderson from bed so we can lie in front of the fire. Neither of us can sleep, and after several rounds of mind-numbing sex, all I want is to fall asleep in his arms.
Another crack of thunder makes him pull me closer beneath the blanket. “You okay?”
I nod and bury my head in his chest. “Storms aren’t scary with you.”
He chuckles. I can feel his chest vibrate with the sound. “I meant… down there. Did I hurt you?”
Biting down on my lip, I smile and look up at him. “Sorry to burst your bubble, but it wasn’t my first time, Anderson.”
He glares and brings his forehead to mine. “We’re just going to pretend we were both virgins before tonight.”
“Might as well have been.” I swallow. “It’s never felt like that for me before. And, by the way, no man has ever made me orgasm during oral before.”
His eyes get so big, I wouldn’t be surprised if they burst from his sockets. “You’re lying.”
I shake my head, ashamed to admit this for the first time. “I swear. I didn’t even think it was possible for me, honestly. I thought there was something wrong with me. Turns out, some people need deep emotional connections to achieve an orgasm that way.”
“But not in other ways? You seemed to have a nice little orgasm in your room while on the phone with your boss,” Anderson reminds me.
“Yeah, I don’t usually have a problem when I masturbate or through intercourse, but I wasn’t thinking about him.” I kiss Anderson’s lips softly. “I was thinking about you and how hot you looked at the stables earlier that day.”
Anderson groans and rubs his newly hard length against my stomach. “Fuck, I was really hoping that you were thinking about me that night. Since we’re confessing sex stories… you should know that the first time I ever had a sex dream about you was the first night I met you.”
My jaw drops hard. “Really?”
He squeezes his eyes shut while nodding and laughing. “I did, and I felt so guilty when I saw you the next day. I think I tried to avoid you as much as possible after that for a while.”
I smack his chest. “No wonder. I was certain you hated me at first.”
“It was definitely the opposite. All I kept thinking about was how you were twenty-two and so adorably sweet and innocent. But I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Your infectious laughter drew me to you every single time you were near. And then your smile kept me. If you only knew how badly I wanted to get you alone to try to learn something new about you. I just loved being around you.”
He blinks, and I swear there’s moisture forming in his eyes.
“You reminded me how to be happy.” He bows his head slightly. “And by admitting that, I feel guilty, because you aren’t responsible for my happiness, but I can’t imagine happiness without you in that same picture.” His eyes search mine. “Trust me, I tried.”
It feels like fireworks are shooting from my heart—whizzing, and squealing, and exploding into the best of moments. “Good,” I say with a small smile. “Because you’re in my happy picture too.”
He leans in to kiss me, groaning before he pulls away. “There’s something I’ve always wondered, but I don’t know—I guess I was too afraid to ask.” His gaze flickers over me like he’s considering how to phrase his words. “How did you wind up here in the first place?”
His question hits me hard. Anderson and I may have spent a lot of time together, but there were so many things we both kept hidden. Looking back, I’m not even sure why.
“Well,” I say while drawing an invisible line down his chest with my finger. “When I got kicked out of college for not being able to pay my tuition, I went home to see my mom. I don’t know why I thought she’d find it in her heart to be a mom for once. Looking back, I was so stupid. But I was the first one in my family to even attempt college, and I’d worked so damn hard, but I failed.” I swallow, hating this story as much as I want to tell it. “When I got to her home, she was shooting up on the couch. Didn’t even recognize me at first. And then after I reminded her who I was, she kicked me out of the house, telling me she’d already sold and thrown out all my things. So I walked out of the house a homeless twenty-two-year-old with nowhere to go.”
“Jesus,” Anderson says, his expression broken for me. He holds me tighter and kisses my forehead. “How’d you find Camp Dakota?”
I smile, because this is the good part of the story. “A college friend of mine let me stay with her family the next summer. I worked a waitressing job within walking distance from their house, and my goal was to save up enough to afford a bus ticket and a little extra to find a place somewhere as far from Seattle as possible. But one day, my friend invited me out on her boat with some friends, and I went. We were out all day, making a pass around Orcas Island. That’s when I first saw you. You were sitting at the edge of the dock. I couldn’t get over how handsome you were. But you also looked sad.” I nuzzle his nose with mine. “All I wanted to do was make you smile. My friend told me about Camp Dakota and what you all did here, and I was intrigued. So instead of getting the bus ticket across the country, I came here. And I found you.” I suck in a breath, ready to hear how crazy I just sounded by stalking my way into his heart.
Instead, a tear slips from his eyes, his mouth moves to my ear, and the sweetest whisper I’ve ever heard floats past his lips and straight into my heart.
“I saw you that day too. And I never stopped.”
Chapter Seventeen
HOPE
The sound of a drill squealing outside my window grips me in my slumber. The thud of boots hitting the wooden porch brings a sigh from my throat. It’s just Anderson. Up to something, but I’m still too weighted with sleep to try to figure out what he’s doing. Instead, I sigh and roll to my side while memories of last night rain down on me like it’s all happening again in real time.
Our kiss in the rain.
Us racing into the cabin during the storm.
Our naked bodies colliding in the hottest sex I’d ever experienced.
Our midnight confessions.
Everything about last night feels like a dream that I never want to wake up from, so I curl into the memories a little bit longer. Why not? I worked through the weekend to get ahead of my work, and my boss isn’t here. And I suspect I won’t have a job at Urgency for much longer, especially not once Dexter finds out that Anderson is, in fact, more than a client. I’m convinced Dexter will find a way to fire me. It’s only a matter of time.
A sick feeling creeps into my gut. It’s not like I have my heart set on staying at Urgency anymore, but I love my job and the challenge it provides. Before I stepped foot in that downtown Seattle office, I never would have imagined that I was capable of the things I’ve accomplished. And now, it’s all about to go to shit. A year’s worth of work, gone like it was nothing. I’ll never know what could have been, and that thought is crushing.