“When?”
“He showed up here unexpectedly. I would have said something when he got here, but you took off before I had a chance. Then I was going to tell you as soon as he was gone.” She covers her mouth with her hands before ripping them away from her face. “Dexter and I had something, but it’s over. I swear.”
None of what she's saying makes me feel any better. “Really?” I yell. “Because he had his hands all over you back there. That didn’t look like it was over to me.”
“I know what you saw, and I’m so sorry.” Her face is all crumbled up like she’s about to cry, and I hate that I want to hug her. “This is so awful. I don’t even know what to say right now.”
“Then say nothing,” I snap. “What’s the use? We’re just going to hurt each other all over again. Save yourself, Hope. Go back to Dexter. Work your fancy job. Drive your expensive car. Eat your five-star meals. I can’t compete with any of that.”
“I’m not asking you to compete. Don’t you get it? It’s Dexter who can’t compete with you.” She visibly shakes as the first tear slips down her face. “It’s always been you, Anderson. Whether I wanted that to be true or not, there’s never been anyone else. Not anyone who reaches me as deeply as you do.”
It’s like she’s right there inside my chest, squeezing and yanking it toward her, but somehow, it stays intact. After what I witnessed minutes ago, I would have sworn that it was about to shatter like shrapnel all over these goddamn woods.
“You know this is going to end badly, right? You’ve been fucking your boss,” I spit out. “And if you end things with him, then what? You get fired?”
“I already ended it, and he didn’t fire me. He won’t unless his suspicions prove to be right.”
I search her eyes. “Suspicions?”
She nods. “He asked if I was fucking you. I told him no. He’s not convinced.”
“Well, you didn’t lie.” There’s a hint of bitterness in my tone along with a mix of other emotions that rattle my core. I’m jealous. Jealous that a prick like Dexter got to be intimate with Hope before me. I’m angry at myself for being the arms that pushed her in his direction. I’m sad at the fact that what she told Dexter wasn’t a lie. I’m also tired. Tired of pretending that I have a chance of surviving a life without Hope in it. I don’t.
“I didn’t lie, but I also didn’t tell him the truth. He might be an asshole at times, but he’s not a terrible guy. I respect him in the business sense, and I’m grateful to him for all the opportunities he’s given me. If he knew the truth, it would crush him.”
I hear what she’s saying and I know she isn’t wrong, but it still hurts like hell. “So, what? You’re going to continue working with him? I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“I’m afraid you don’t get to have a say. It’s my career, my future, my decision.” Another set of tears falls down her cheeks, twisting my heart even more.
She’s so fucking stubborn, but what I want for her today isn’t any different than what I wanted for her a year ago. I’ve only ever wanted her to be happy. “So then we’re right back where we started, aren’t we? Only this time you aren’t choosing me. You’re choosing Seattle.”
“I’m choosing me.” She jabs a finger into her chest. "What we have doesn’t have to change. You said it yourself.”
Fury kicks in my chest. “I said that before I knew you were having a fling with your boss. This changes things.”
Her chin quivers. “What is this, Anderson? Are you trying to make this decision easy for me too? Because I swear to God if you force my hand in either direction, you won’t get a third chance.”
“That’s not what I’m saying.” Fear billows through me at the thought of her leaving. “But what do I do? Let you go again? Beg you to stay? I don’t know which will make you resent me less.”
Hope’s forehead creases. “You’re afraid of me resenting you? That’s what I’ve been doing for the past twelve months. I wanted to hate you. If you had a single clue of just how badly I tried to hate you, you might begin to understand how hard it was for me to come back here.”
“Maybe you should hate me,” I choke out. “That would make your life so much easier.”
She nods, her chin quivering. “Probably, yes. But I’m not looking for easy. I want you. I also want to be the one who gets to make decisions that impact my life. I’m not going to let you take that away from me again.” She blows past me toward her cabin. She’s halfway there when she turns around and starts to walk backward. “Don’t forget how we got here in the first place. You pushed me away, remember? Maybe you should think twice before you do it again.”
She turns back around, but I’m right on her heels. The rain is falling harder now, drenching us both. “I’ll do whatever you want me to do,” I yell so she can hear me over the downpour. “Just don’t walk away, please.”
Her entire body is shaking now, but it’s the crack of thunder followed by the lightning bolting through the sky that makes her jump straight out of her boots.
I step closer so there’s nothing between us but a mere inch of air. Call it instinct, call it love, but my arms wrap around her so fast that my head is spinning. Her eyes are wet, and I’m not sure if it’s from the rain or from her sadness, but I hate that I’ve ever played a part in her unhappiness.
“I’m sorry.” Two whispered words against her mouth, and I feel her melt into my arms. “I just want to keep you.”
Her lids press together before she returns my gaze. “You have me.”
When my mouth finds hers, a sigh of relief rockets through my chest. I hold her to me tightly, ignoring the cold rain falling on us and bleeding into our kiss. All I want to do is live in this moment forever.
Her lips are warm and plush, like a pillow resting in front of the fire.
Her tongue is gentle, eager, but with a hint of timidness that makes me want her more.
Her arms are strong and firm, wrapping me like a weighted blanket.
She’s everything I could ever need.
When I feel her first shiver from the cold, I murmur against her wet lips. “Let’s go inside.”
She nods, and we run for shelter.
We race into her cabin, our clothes already soaked through. I search the closet for blankets while she flips the switch to the fireplace. When we meet again in the middle of the room, she’s struggling to unzip the back of her red dress. I stand behind her and take over, lowering the zipper slowly enough that I can appreciate every inch of her silky skin until the fabric falls to the floor.
I suck in a breath when her bare ass comes into view, compliments of the ripped panties that still sit in my pocket. My mouth lands on the back of her neck, and I close the distance, my erection rapidly thickening between her firm cheeks. I snake an arm around her, placing my palm on her stomach while teasing her neck with my tongue.
She shivers, and I realize how cold she must be with my wet clothes pressed to her back, so I scramble out of them, shedding each layer while she strips free of her bra, until we’re nothing but two naked bodies, souls bared and hearts beating.