Our kissing grows more frantic, hungrier, until we remember we’re in a city park, and it’s still bright enough to be seen. Slowly, we part as the realization dawns we can’t do this here. Vander presses his brow to mine. “I love you, Kendall. I love you so damn much.”
A sob builds at the base of my throat, but it’s a happy one. “I love you too, Vander. You are my world. You and Iris and Ridge, Stella, and West.” My kids have given me the greatest joy in my life, only rivaled by the time spent with this man holding me like I’m precious treasure.
Vander stares at me with so much love in his eyes it’s impossible to deny. “I told you last night I came to Portland with a plan to permanently move here and make you my wife.” My heart careens around my chest at his thrilling words. “Nothing has changed, Kendall. If anything, the timeline has just moved up. I already love Iris. It’s impossible not to fall head over heels for that amazing little girl.” He pecks my lips. “We made a gorgeous little human. A perfect combination of me and you, and I can’t wait to get to know her completely. I don’t want to waste another moment of our lives together. We have waited long enough. I want us to be a family, and I want it now.”
He is saying all the right things, but I need to be sure he is fully committed. “I want that so badly, Vander, but you’ve just found out about Iris. Are you sure you don’t need more time to think about it? Because it’s okay if you do. This decision can’t be rushed. It’s not just us anymore. Every decision we make together from now on will impact our daughter. We can’t rush into anything if you have even the slightest doubt about us. You will always be in her life, Vander. Now that she’s safe from Gregory, I could never keep her from you. But we don’t have to be a package deal.”
“Silly Kendall.” He tweaks my nose. “There is no you without her and no her without you.” He slams his lips down on mine and kisses me passionately. “I’m all in, Kendall. I’ve been all in from the time I was fifteen. I don’t need any more time. I know my mind. I know what I want, and it’s you and my daughter.”
55
KENDALL
“I want you to read to me tonight,” Iris says to Vander after she’s dressed in her pajamas and ready for bed. She hasn’t let her daddy out of her sight from the moment we returned from our walk. We drove to my house, and they painted while I made dinner. Then Vander helped me to bathe Iris while she chatted away about her siblings, her friends, her school, and her teacher. It’s like she’s on a mission to fill Vander in on every aspect of her life within the first twenty-four hours.
It's adorable, and my heart is full of love for my youngest daughter.
Stella arranged for Ridge to stay at her apartment to give us some privacy even though there was no need, but I appreciate their willingness to support me. Ridge and West both phoned me earlier to make sure I was okay and Vander was treating both of us right.
“Mommy.” She tugs on my hand, peering up at me with her trusting face and jubilant eyes. “Can Daddy read me Iris Murdoch?”
I lean down and kiss her soft cheek. “Of course, honey. Go get it from my room.”
Vander perches on the edge of her bed, stretching his legs out in front of him. “You named her after Iris Murdoch?” he surmises, taking my hand and pulling me down beside him.
“Yes.” I run my fingers through the growth on his chin and cheeks, loving how velvety soft it feels against my skin.
“It’s Mommy’s favorite book,” Iris says, skipping into the room with the dog-eared book in her hand. “You found it in a bookstore in Bridgeport the weekend you visited Yale,” she adds, climbing up onto his lap like she does it all the time. Vander’s arms instantly circle her small body, bundling her into the safety of his embrace. “Mom fell asleep listening to you read from it,” she says matter-of-factly, as if she’d been there.
“I never told her that,” I mouth at Vander as he raises a brow. Yikes. I wonder what else she’s been seeing in her dreams. Whoever is feeding them to her, I hope they’re keeping them G-rated.
“Night, Mommy.” Iris flings herself at me, and I lift her up, hugging her tight.
“Night, my little angel.”
Vander folds back the covers, and I set her down on her mattress. Iris moves to grab the photo of Vander beside her bed before collapsing in a fit of giggles. She buries her face in my neck. “I was going to kiss Daddy’s picture good night, but I don’t need to do that anymore. Now he’s home I get to kiss him for real.”
Vander’s face softens as emotion swims in his eyes. “Come here, princess.” He opens his arms, and our daughter crawls into his lap again. “Plant one on me.” He points at his face.
Iris giggles into his neck this time. “Silly Daddy. I kiss you when I’m going to sleep after you read to me.”
“I’m greedy.” Vander nuzzles his nose in her neck, and she shrieks. “I’m the kiss monster, and I’m going to claim all your kisses.” He tickles her, and she writhes around, squealing and giggling, and I swear my heart is about to erupt from my chest. This is everything I have wanted for her her entire life. To see them bond instantly, to connect as if they have always been in each other’s lives, is more than I dared to wish for.
“You’re crazy, Daddy, but I love you.”
“I love you too, princess. So, so much.”
I leave the room watching Iris dot soft kisses all over her daddy’s face, brimming with so much joy it feels like I could burst.
The kitchen is clean, and I’m sitting by the fire in the living room when Vander appears a half hour later. “She’s conked out,” he confirms as I pour a glass of red wine and hand it to him.
“You’ve exhausted her, and I let her stay up late as it was a special occasion.”
“I’m already so in love with her.” His face radiates happiness as he sits beside me, automatically snaking his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. “It happened in the blink of an eye, just like with her mother.”
I tilt my head back and ogle his mouth. Adoration glimmers in his eyes as he leans down and kisses me. It’s soft and tender and imbued with potent emotion. “This is my every dream come to life,” I admit.
Vander sets his wineglass down before plucking mine from my fingers and placing it on the coffee table with his. Then he lifts me onto his lap so I’m straddling him. “Mine too. I didn’t dare to hope for a family, but now I have both my girls in my life I’m never letting you go.” He plants tender kisses all over my face as I hug his shoulders and nestle my thighs against his growing erection. He lifts his face to mine, shielding nothing, conveying the strength of his feelings, and it’s like basking in the glow of the most glorious rainbow. “We have lost so much time, and I don’t want to waste another minute. We know what we want, and I say we go for it.”
“So, it’s not too soon to ask you to move in?”
He flashes me a blinding smile. “Definitely not. I’ll arrange a moving truck tomorrow.”