Owen had just taken a mouthful and nearly choked. He managed to wash it down with the iced tea, then wiped his mouth. “I hope to marry her.” He smiled. “If we can have your blessing, that would make us both really happy.”
Ragsdale nodded. “I can see how much you care for her. I haven’t seen her this happy since before her husband got sick and died. It happened pretty quickly. I don’t know if she told you or not.”
“She did. A terrible thing to go through.”
“Yes.” Ragsdale nodded and toyed with the edge of the tablecloth. “They’d been good friends since childhood. It was almost impossible to separate them.”
“She said as much. I asked her to tell me all about him and their time together.”
“Does it bother you that she was married before?”
“Not in the least. She’s an amazing woman, and I’m just happy to have her in my life now. You said you hadn’t seen her this happy for a long time. Keeping her happy is my desire and goal. I want to make a good life for her—give her children, grow old together.”
Ragsdale glanced toward the bedroom door. “I loved Gladys from nearly the first moment our parents brought us together.”
“I’m sure she must have felt the same.” Owen continued eating.
“No.” Ragsdale shook his head. “No, she didn’t. She was angry. She didn’t want to marry me, but my family had money and power. Her father was a politician—popular with the people, but he didn’t have a lot of money. Gladys always wanted to belong to the elite society in our town and elsewhere. She wanted people to admire her. To look up to her.”
“Well, certainly she has come to love you over the years.”
“I’m not sure I can even say that,” Susanna’s father said, shaking his head slowly. “She’s never been very happy. She was happy to spend my money and attend all the parties that my name opened up to her, but love was never a topic of discussion. But then, now that I look at myself, I don’t see a man worthy of love.”
Owen heard the sadness in his voice. He wished he could say something that might help, but frankly, Owen had never known much love himself. It was what had always drawn him to God. God was said to be love, and Owen craved love. His father and grandparents favored his brother, and Owen was pretty much left to raise himself. There was never even the slightest word spoken about love. His mother offered love freely to him, but that ended when she died.
“If I knew God better, perhaps I wouldn’t feel this way, but I doubt even God would love me if He really knew me.”
It dawned on Owen that this was something he could say, something to share that might change everything. “But He does know you. Do you know that the Bible says God knew you in your mother’s womb? He told this to Jeremiah, but it seems it would be true for each person. I’m pretty sure God knows everything about everything and everyone. I feel confident He knows everything about you.”
“You really suppose God knows about my cheating and lying? About my unwillingness to receive wise counsel to the ruination of my family? And still He would want anything to do with me?”
“We’re all sinners, Mr. Ragsdale. There’s no one who is righteous. Not even one. Everyone needs to be forgiven and to make peace with God, and the only way that can be done is through the blood of Christ. He’s the only way to God. The only way to love.”
Ragsdale put his face in his hands and began to weep. Owen had no clue what to do. He prayed silently and waited for some sign, some thought to come to mind.
“I want to put my trust in God,” Ragsdale finally said, lifting his tear-streaked face. “I just fear He won’t accept me.”
“The Bible says He’s willing that none should perish, but all should come to repentance. It says that in second Peter, chapter three. All includes you, Mr. Ragsdale.”
“But I feel so worthless.” He met Owen’s eyes. “I am so worthless.”
“We aren’t worthless to God. He sent his only Son to die for us. That makes us pretty special. So, what do you have to lose in repenting and accepting Him as your Lord and Savior?” Owen couldn’t help but smile.
Ragsdale nodded. “Will you pray with me?”
Owen’s smile widened into a grin. “Of course. I’ll start out, and then you finish by confessing you’re a sinner and that you want Jesus as Lord.”
They prayed together in the stillness of the house. Owen had never felt so overcome with joy. Of all the things he had expected to feel this day, the intense joy that filled his soul was not one of those things. Praying with a lost soul—someone who was hurting to the point of death—and seeing them give their life to God was better than almost anything else Owen could imagine.
“I’m sorry for the mistakes I’ve made,” Herbert Ragsdale prayed. “I’m even sorrier for the things I’ve done on purpose that I knew weren’t right. Forgive me, please. Forgive me and be my Lord and Savior, amen.” He looked up. “Was that good enough? Am I saved now?”
Owen nodded. “God hears the prayers of His children—especially when they are seeking Him.”
The door opened, and Susanna returned. She looked at her father and then at Owen, and clutched a bundle of clothes to her breast. “What’s wrong? Is Mother gone?” She rushed toward the room, but Owen caught her hand as she passed.
“Nothing’s wrong. Everything is very right. Your father just accepted Jesus as his Savior.”
Susanna’s mouth fell open. She looked at her father. “How wonderful! Oh, Father . . .” She placed the clothes on a chair and went to him. She put her arms around his shoulders. “Now things really will be different.”
He pulled away and nodded. “I hope you know how sorry I am for all the wrong I’ve done.”
She nodded. “I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you or wronged you, Father.”
They hugged again, and this time as they pulled away, Ragsdale looked at Owen. “You have my blessing.”
Susanna sat at her mother’s bedside and prayed. She thought of all that had transpired earlier with her father and Owen. The peace she felt was like an assurance that things would finally change. She only prayed that her mother’s heart had been transformed as well. Mother was so afraid of dying, but Susanna had tried to share all that she could to give her comfort. She couldn’t force her mother to accept Jesus or to have a change of heart about life, but she knew God could encourage her mother in both areas.
She wished Owen was still with her. The moment he had left, she felt his absence, like a part of herself had departed. She had fallen so deeply in love with him that she could hardly comprehend the way she felt.
Thinking of this brought to mind Mark and her marriage to him. She had loved him so dearly, but this was like falling in love for the first time. How could it be that way? Was it just because it was a different man—a different time and place? She used to talk to Mark from time to time, not knowing if people in heaven ever heard the things people spoke on earth about or to them.
Now, as she watched over her mother, she remembered their last conversation. Mark had been so weak, barely able to speak to her. Like Mother, his lungs were congested and full of fluid. But unlike Mother, he wasn’t at all afraid. He knew exactly where he stood with God and had no doubts about his future.