I scratch my ear. The thundering of my heart pounds wildly. I’m afraid she’s going to judge me, that she might not forgive me.
Her hand is caressing my thumb. “How did Wally die?”
“Mom put us in the bathtub. He was almost a year old. I was three. I don’t have many memories of my childhood, but that one…I was there, playing with my boat, splashing. Suddenly, he was floating around me. Mom came running back. She said it was my fault. I didn’t take care of Wally. He drowned because of me.”
I break the stem of the glass. The wine spills all around the table. My hand bleeds. I welcome the physical pain. It softens the jarring hurt inside my soul.
“I need you to relax your hand so I can see it.”
I finally look at her. “I killed him.”
She shakes her head as she carefully uses the cloth napkin to clean the blood and pull out the shards of glass.
“After that, my parents weren’t the same. Dad could barely look at me. Mom…she still blames me. I broke our family.”
“I have my bag in the room. Why don’t we go upstairs? We can order room service after I fix you up.”
We walk in silence through the restaurant. Every person in the room is staring at us. I want to tell them to mind their own fucking business, but I remain quiet, bleeding, hurting.
Once we’re inside the room, Nathalie sits me on the couch. “I’ll grab everything to take care of that ugly cut.”
When she’s back, she begins to clean my hand carefully.
“What if something happens to Keaghan? I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to him.”
She stops what she’s doing, takes off her surgical gloves, and cups my face. “I’m sure the father in you knows never to leave a child unattended in a bathtub. I’m grateful that nothing happened to you. You could’ve shared the same fate as your brother.”
“Don’t absolve me.”
I try to move my face. She doesn’t let me. Her eyes are locked with mine. “I’m not forgiving you because you didn’t do anything wrong. Did your therapists ever tell you that it wasn’t your fault?”
I shake my head. “I never talked about him. I’m not allowed to mention him. They forbid me to do it. All the therapists I visited back then thought that I was acting up because of their divorce.”
“That explains why you didn’t want to love Keaghan. You’re afraid to hurt him the way you think you hurt your little brother.”
She gives me a peck on the lips. “Let me fix your hand. It’s just a bunch of little cuts that will hurt a lot when you squeeze lime or pour salt on it. Be careful.”
Gently, she starts working on me. “Please, promise me you’ll start going to the therapist, and you’ll talk about Wally. You have to do it for yourself and Keaghan. The two of you deserve a healthy relationship.”
“Why are you so good to me?”
She looks at me as she applies ointment and puts on Band-Aids. “You don’t think you deserve love, do you?”
“Why should I?”
“Because you’re a wonderful, caring man who’s been starving himself of love. Because I love you, and I hope you won’t reject that love.”
“You what?”
“I love you.”
I pull her to me, hugging her tightly. “Thank fuck. I thought I was the only one falling hard in this relationship.”
She puts her hands on each side of my face. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It kills me that you’ve been punishing yourself.”
I lift her and walk her to the room.
“Are those rose petals?” She points at the petals strewn on the bed.
“We have champagne too.”
When I thought about tonight, I wanted to spoil her. Pamper her. Make her feel wanted, cherished, worshiped. Who knew that she’d be the one surprising me?
She loves me.
Her soft, trembling gasp as she gazes around the suite is priceless. I put her down, slide my arms around her waist from behind, and drop a kiss on her neck.
“Do you like it?”
“It’s like a beautiful dream.” Nat shivers, and I feather kisses up the side of her neck. Feeling mischievous, I nibble on her earlobe.
Nat moans at the sensation of my teeth on her skin, and she bucks her hips, grinding the soft, plump swell of her ass against my stirring erection through our clothes.
I groan in response, gripping her hips. “As delicious as this dress is on you, I’d much prefer it on the floor.”
Nat turns in my arms, kissing me hard. Every pore in my body tightens with desire and anticipation as I crush her soft, intoxicating body against mine. I want her with a ferocity that threatens to consume me completely. My length throbs with need, straining against my boxer-briefs and the zipper on my slacks.
I want—need—to taste her.
Never breaking our kiss, I lift Nat off her feet and carry her the short distance to the bed. I deposit her on the bed with extreme care and kneel beside it, her legs framing my body.
Nat gazes down at me through heavy-lidded eyes. “What are you doing down there?”
Then, I give her a wicked smile and press a kiss against her inner thigh. “Having you for dinner. Next time, when my hand isn’t all fucked up, I’ll show you why my hands are insured for ten million dollars.” Pushing the fabric of her dress up to her waist, I pause to admire the pink, lacy panties. “And you definitely look good enough to eat.”
Nat shivers as I hook my fingers in the waistband of her panties and tug them off, leaving her bare before me. Without another word, I grip her thighs and tug her to the very edge of the bed to give myself better access to her sweet core.
Burying my face between her legs, I lick. Suck. Nibble.
I claim every inch of her with my mouth. I eat her like a starving man that can’t get enough. She tastes so sweet on my tongue. I lose myself in the scent and sensation of eating her out, loving the way I make her squirm and writhe with pleasure, the way she shatters and comes utterly undone from my mouth and tongue alone.
“Fish?” Nat whimpers, her hips bucking. “Don’t stop. Keep going.”
I get harder by her admission, and I flash her a feral, victorious smirk. “Good. That’s exactly what I want. I want to see just how many times and how many ways I can pleasure you tonight.”
Locking my lips around her clit, I lick her until she buries her fingers in my hair, holding my head firm as she arches and bucks against my face, all but riding my mouth as I work to make her fall apart for me.
“Fish!” she says with a broken, hoarse cry.
She’s still quivering as I strip out of my clothes, tossing them in a heap on the floor.
Nat licks her lips, and the mere sight of her tongue darting out to wet her full lips is enough to make my cock twitch as I crawl up the bed to join her.
“Let’s get rid of that dress and your bra, shall we?” I dip my head and kiss the swell of her breast just above the fabric of her strapless dress. “I want to see every breathtaking, beautiful inch of you.”
Nat flushes as she rolls onto her side.
“Unzip me and help me out of them, then.”
Chuckling, I do as she requests. When her dress and strapless bra join my clothes on the floor, I nod and let out a sigh of satisfaction.