“What?!” Amber’s voice can be heard all the way to…well, Seattle.
I laugh. “Well, that’s what Dr. Ritz said after I quit.”
Noel Ritz is one of my father’s best friends. When I told him I was leaving, he thought I was kidding. I wonder if he’s going to tell my parents or if he’s waiting for me to come to my senses.
“Wait, isn’t he your godfather?”
“Yep. He said, and I quote”—I clear my throat—“‘You’re not allowed to quit. Consider yourself fired, but you know how that’ll impact your fellowship application.’”
She gasps. “The horror. What’s that background noise?”
I look around, wondering what she’s talking about. “The wind? The ferry’s engine…I don’t know.”
“Where are you?”
“On my way to Luna Harbor.”
“What?!” she screeches, again. “I thought you were joking. You never…Is that why you haven’t called me?”
“Sorta. I’ve been busy putting my life in order. You sound surprised that I’m on my way to Luna Harbor.”
“Honestly, I thought that once you sobered up, you would just go back to work. I…I’m impressed and worried.”
“Worried?”
“Soon enough, you’ll be freaking out, and none of us will be there to help.”
I don’t freak out, do I?
Okay, so I do freak out when I end up in a holding cell. Although, that’s what I get for swimming in a public fountain while intoxicated. I must confess that having sex with a guy I shouldn’t have had sex with also freaked me out. He was my brother’s age—forty-seven at the time—and married. Eww. But… “This is different. I’m doing something that matters to me. It’s not about doing nonsense while drunk.”
“Are you sure?”
“Trust me.”
“What did your parents say?”
“Uhhh…” So, I’ve been avoiding my parents since last Saturday. No big deal, there are times when they go radio silent for months. They’re too busy with their careers and their social life to care about little ol’ me. “I haven’t told them yet.”
If Mom and Dad had found out about this impulsive move before I got to Luna Harbor, they’d have tried to stop me. I’d rather wait until I’m settled in and have a plan before…okay, I might wait a little longer than that. Can I fake living in New York for the next twenty years?
“When do you plan on telling them?”
On second thought, what if I never tell them? Dad’s in his eighties and Mom is almost the same age. They’ll probably start forgetting things in a few years.
“Nat?”
“As soon as I know more about the practice.”
“Where are you going to live?” And we’re back to one of Amber’s cross-examinations. She’s going to present the case in a way that everyone will agree that I’m guilty—or doing something stupid in my case.
“According to Dr. Westbrook, there’s an apartment within the same building. Furnished and ready to be lived in. Best of all, it’s free.”
“What’s wrong with it?”
“What’s with the twenty questions, Amber? Everything is fine. Are you jealous because I’m not going to pay rent?”
“Nothing in this life is free.”
She’s not wrong. I don’t disclose that I’m responsible for the practice’s expenses, including the rent. I guess that’s why the landlord threw in the free apartment.
“Stop raining on my parade. You’re a pessimist.”
“No. I’m a realist. And that, my friend, is what makes me a brilliant lawyer. I analyze everything that can go wrong, fix it before it even happens, and win.”
“What’s going on with your case?” I ask, changing the subject.
“I fired my client.”
“Why?”
Amber proceeds to tell me how she fired her client and convinced her father that she did him a favor. She may be an excellent lawyer, but I always wonder if she’d do anything differently if the opportunity arose. “I’m glad to hear things worked out for you.”
“Can you say the same about this crazy move?”
“Yes. I’m doing something good for Nathalie. This is me taking charge of my life. In a small practice, I’ll have plenty of time to think about what I want to do with my future.” At least, that’s what I hope.
“Moving to the other side of the country is…crazy.”
“I beg to differ. Moving to the other side of the country is a step to finding happiness. I’m willing to make some changes.”
“Does that mean you’ll be tossing your lists in the trash? Will you sleep with the bad boy in town and stop flossing three times a day?”
I gasp. “Don’t be so facetious.”
She chuckles. “You’ll never change.”
“Fine. Once I’m in Luna Harbor, I’ll date a tall, dark, and dangerous man.”
“With tattoos,” she adds conspiratorially. “Your mom will have a heart attack. Your dad will disown you—again.”
“She’ll have my brother, Wilson, save her,” I say jokingly. My father disowns me every time he sees me because I’ve pissed off my mother.
It’s not like they help me with my expenses. They stopped giving me an allowance when I started med school. I’m not like the rest of my trust-fund-friends. Everything I have, I earned. My parents might rub elbows with the wealthy people of New York, but they don’t have as much money as they pretend. Mom’s family was über-rich until they lost everything—well, everything but their status.
Amber laughs. “I want to believe you, but…I’ll make sure to send a car to JFK next Friday.”
“Why?”
“To pick you up, of course. You’re going to bail.”
“I won’t,” I assure her.
“Do you want to bet?”
It’s like she doesn’t know me. Once I make up my mind, I follow through with my plans. “Let’s do it.”
An hour after I boarded the ferry, I’m back in the U-Haul. The biggest incentive about moving to Luna Harbor was having my own practice. The cherry on top is knowing that if I stay for at least six months, Amber is paying for our next girls’ trip. If I move back home, the reason has to be important and not because Mom forced me to.
Mom doesn’t push me to do things per se. She nags me so much, belittles me in a way that I feel smaller than an ant when I don’t follow her advice, that I just do what she says. It’s become easier to do what my family wants, and it allows me to keep the little self-esteem I have left.
While growing up, I always envisioned what it’d be like to run away from my family and find a new one. And maybe, that’s exactly what I’m doing—finding a new life. Will I ever find a new family?
I hope so, but I don’t hold my breath. At least I have my three besties by my side, even when they’re thousands of miles away from me.
Was this a crazy move? Probably. I understand why Amber is concerned. I always take my time planning everything. If I’m going somewhere overnight, I make a list weeks ahead of time and take pride in having a detailed itinerary.