I got up and knocked my knee on the coffee table, cursing the pain as I stumbled toward the hallway after him. “No, really. I can handle it. Naked man dick. Tight man asshole. Blow jobs. Fingers. See? I’m cool.”
I wasn’t, really, but I wanted to be. For him.
He was standing in the bedroom, pulling off his sweater, when I walked in. The place looked larger than I expected, and I recognized the sheets and comforter.
“This is your bedding from home,” I said stupidly.
Julian sighed and walked over to me. The familiar ink on his chest drew my eye the way it always did. He clasped my shoulders and met my eyes. He had gorgeous blue eyes. Sometimes dark with strong emotion and sometimes light with happiness.
“It’s been a long, shitty day,” he said softly. “Go to sleep.” He leaned in and kissed me on the forehead like I was a sleepy child. I should have hated it. I should have shoved him off me, but I didn’t. I wanted more of his familiar comfort.
I wanted more of him.
I cleared my throat. “Fine, then. We can go to sleep early, I guess. You want the left side?”
Julian paused and stared at me, his hands clenching and unclenching. “No. I… I want to sleep alone.”
Alone? Since when? We’d shared a bed more times than I could count. Hell, I’d probably shared a bed more with him than even Erin at this point. And always, before we went to sleep, I talked about whatever random things floated into my brain, and Julian listened, until his replies faded to comforting half-formed murmurs and my eyes finally shut.
It was our routine. Our thing. For twenty years.
“But this isn’t one of those dinky hotel beds like last night. It’s plenty big enough for both of us.”
Julian eyed me with an expression I couldn’t read.
“Fine,” I said, trying not to take it so personally. “If you need your space, I’ll sleep in the guest room.” I glanced back toward the living area. “Where is it?”
He turned toward the dresser to pull out a pair of flannel pajama bottoms. “No other bedroom. Just the one.”
I stared at his bare back. “No… no other bedroom? What was your plan for when I came here to visit with Erin? Why the hell would you buy a one-bedroom place when you have friends?”
He didn’t turn back to face me. “I’m a single guy. You were going to be married. Tiller and Mikey own a giant lodge down the road. Why did I need room for guests?”
Now I was truly angry. Since when did he not take me into consideration in his major life decisions? Had he truly thought he’d build a life here full-time and I’d… what? Sleep over at Mikey and Tiller’s place, even though I came to see him?
“You should sleep on the sofa, Parks.”
I stared at him in disbelief. But I wasn’t going to beg to stay in here with him when he was sending me all kinds of messages that I was no longer the same priority in his life as I’d been before.
“Whatever,” I said, making my way out to the living room and trying my best to hate-sleep.
It didn’t work. Within three hours, I was sneaking into Julian’s bed in hopes he wouldn’t notice.
6
JULIAN
I woke up half-strangled by Parker’s firm biceps. He was spooning the heck out of me, and his morning wood was riding a fine line between inappropriate and intoxicating as it pressed against one of my flannel-covered ass cheeks.
“Get off me,” I grumbled, shoving him back. It was too dangerous to languish in his arms for even half a minute. I’d woken up to Parker’s aggressive spooning many times before, and, honestly, it never got easier to resist.
He grabbed me again and pulled me close. “Stop fidgeting. I like this. You’re warm. Erin never lets me spoon her.”
I squeezed my eyes closed and tried not to grit my teeth at the mention of his… whatever she was to him right now. But my next inhale was full of the sleepy scent of him, which was exceptionally impossible to resist. “Have you ever heard of boundaries?”
“Uh-huh. But we don’t have those. You knew I was going to wind up in your bed. I was upset. Besides, I don’t even fit on that sofa out there.”
His breath was warm as it hit the back of my ear. I cleared my throat and tried to clear my head. “Maybe you can stay at the lodge with Tiller and Mikey. Or at Truman’s place with him and Sam.”
He let out a soft snort, and his grip on me tightened. “Please. The last thing I need is Sam trying to distract me with some kind of DIY project or Mikey asking a lot of intrusive questions about my feelings.”
I turned around to face him. His eyes were only half-open, and his hair was a ginger mess. Several of the freckles on his face were creased from the pillow. Parker Ellis was the sexiest man on the planet.
I moved back to put some space between us. I didn’t want to talk about Erin and his relationship troubles, but it was necessary. I was the man’s best friend, and he’d just been jilted. Someone had to be there for him for more than just cuddling. “How are you feeling?”
He pursed his lips together while he thought about it. “Hungry as fuck. What do we have planned today?” He moved away to sit up, stretching his golden muscles, which were too sexy to ever succumb to winter paleness like the rest of us did.
“Planned?” Was this when I was supposed to mention the pints of ice cream, liters of vodka, and gallons of self-pity I’d had prescheduled for the week? “I didn’t exactly have an itinerary.”
Parker walked over to the bedroom window and pushed the blinds open enough to look at the weather outside. “We should go cross-country skiing. I know you want to. Might as well knock it out right off. Stretch our legs. Get some outside time while it’s sunny.”
“Can we eat first?” I grumbled, rolling out of bed to wander to the bathroom. “I’m going to hop in the shower. There’s a half-bath behind the kitchen you can use,” I called over my shoulder.
When I finished showering, I dressed in warm underlayers for skiing and padded out to the kitchen in thick wool socks. Parker was on the phone with someone, so I moved past him to start breakfast. He stopped me with a hand on my arm and nodded toward two mugs on the counter.
He’d already made my coffee the way I liked it.
“Bless you,” I mouthed at him before taking a sip.
It only took a few moments to realize he was talking to one of his asshole parents.
“I didn’t call off the fucking wedding, Mom! Erin—” He clamped his jaws together. “No… no… I told you I… whatever. Fine… I… You weren’t there! Why do you even care when you couldn’t be bothered enough to—”
He closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest. I could see the slight wobble in his chin that warned of imminent disaster, so I grabbed the phone and hit the Off button before pocketing it. His parents had lost the right to upset him a very long time ago as far as I was concerned, and I had no qualms about protecting him from them, no matter how rude it might seem to others.
“Bacon or sausage?” I asked cheerily before opening the fridge door to pick one.
“Don’t care,” he said flatly before walking out of the room. I knew he was most likely going to shower so he could have an emotional reaction without witnesses. Sometimes I chased after him and forced my comfort on him in similar situations, but today I got the sense he needed time to himself.