Exactly what I wanted to know.
“Yeah. We met yesterday because of a weird mix-up with a, um…” BJ paused and glanced around the table like he wasn’t sure whether he should drop the word “Grindr” in front of everyone. “Address? But Parker invited me in. We, you know… chatted.” He gave Parker a happy grin, and I ground my molars together.
“You chatted.” Mikey’s suspicious gaze bounced from Parker to BJ to Rocco to me, and then down to his own phone. His eyes widened, like maybe he’d made the Grindr connection on his own. “Wait. BJ came by, and you chatted? You and… and BJ?”
“Sure.” Parker shrugged. “I chat with lots of people. And BJ was great.” He gave Emo Ski Boy a fond look. “Patient.”
“Aww.” BJ tilted his head down onto Parker’s shoulder for a second. “And I found you inspiring, Parker. Truly. I’m so glad things worked out the way they did.”
Mikey’s jaw dropped. “But I thought… I mean, I got the impression, Parker, that you had been chatting with Jules.”
Parker frowned, clearly confused. “Well, sure, but Julian went to your place. And I was at the cabin alone. Remember?”
I stared at Parker for a moment as the truth of that hit home. Parker and I had kissed and frotted, and it had been magnificent. It had been his first sexual experience with a man, because I was so not counting that nothing of a kiss with Tiller. And what had his best friend, the guy who loved him most in all the world, done to make sure Parker felt loved and supported after exploring his sexuality?
I’d freaked out and left, even though he’d begged me to stay. I’d gone to discuss the situation with our friends, to get their moral support, and left Parker alone with no one but BJ to talk to about any of it.
And while I knew I had a right to my feelings and that Parker didn’t seem angry about it at all, I also knew deep down that Parker never would have treated a friend that way. He was selfless and loyal to the core.
So if he said that this—us—was what he wanted right now, who was I trying to protect by pretending it wasn’t happening? And who would I ultimately be hurting?
But god, it was still scary as fuck.
“I’m really sorry, Parks,” I whispered.
“Huh?” His confused green eyes met mine. “Sorry for what?”
I shook my head. “For not being there to chat when you needed me. I—”
“Okay, hold up.” Tiller extended a palm. “Just to clarify, when you guys are talking about chatting, you’re using it as a code word for sex, right?”
“Yes,” Mikey and Rocco said at the same time.
“God, no!” Parker exclaimed, straightening in his seat. “What? I mean actual chatting. As in, talking. Discussing. Conversing. Jesus, you guys.”
“Oh! Oh, shit.” Mikey laughed shakily. “Okay, for a second there, I was thinking you and Julian were—” He motioned between Parker and me. “And then I thought maybe BJ…” He snorted. “Never mind.”
“But Parker and Julian are…” BJ said, sounding bewildered. “Wait, aren’t they?”
Rocco shrugged.
“Oh.” BJ looked almost comically bewildered.
“We are…” I began, but I hesitated.
Parker’s gaze met mine for a second, and some emotion flickered over his face, but he looked away before I could identify it. “We are… gonna lose the best light if we sit around here gossiping all day. Excellent point, Julian. Time to ski, people.” He nudged BJ to stand, then stood and stretched himself, displaying a tiny sliver of the skin I’d caressed with my tongue the night before.
“Sure you don’t want to come out with us?”
I blinked away from the magnetic sexuality that was Parker Ellis to find Rocco giving me a friendly smile. “I’d love it if you did.”
I slid out of the booth. “It’s nice of you to ask—”
“But Jules has other stuff to do,” Mikey finished, sliding out of the booth after Rocco while flashing me concerned eyeballs. “Right, Jules?”
I knew Mikey meant well. He was curious about what was going on, sure, but he was also a natural caretaker who wanted to make sure that Parker and I were doing okay. Still, I couldn’t think of anything less appealing than rehashing things with Mikey when Parker was the one I needed to speak to.
“Two minutes, boys. Gotta go freshen up.” BJ gripped Parker’s bicep excitedly. “We’re gonna have so much fun out there. Feel free to correct my form, okay? I’m great at taking direction.”
He winked as he hurried away, and I tried very hard to repress my growl.
Well, would you look at that? Apparently there was something less appealing than talking to Mikey, and that was the idea of Parker spending the afternoon with BJ while I waited behind and stewed in my own jealousy.
“You know what? I will come skiing.” I folded my arms over my chest. “I adore moguls.”
“You do? Since when?” Tiller asked.
A little smile twitched over Parker’s lips, but he didn’t call me on my lie. Instead, he gestured with his hand for Rocco to precede him out of the restaurant and left me to follow.
We hadn’t gotten more than two steps, though, before he turned around to face me so quickly, I almost smacked into him. Within seconds, his hands gripped either side of my face, and his mouth landed on mine with a possessive crush. I vaguely heard Mikey gasp and Tiller say, “Well, damn,” in an admiring tone, but I had no brain cells left to process it. Parker kissed me like he was seeking the Holy Grail and it was located slightly south of my vocal cords. Like the very last thing he cared about was what our friends thought or how he could preserve an out for himself. Like he’d meant every single word he’d said to me last night, and he was pissed off that I wasn’t getting the message.
I lost a little time assessing how critical oxygen really was in the grand scheme of things, and then I lost a little more when I realized his lips and his cool, dry hands now pretty much owned me. Forever.
When Parker finally pulled back, straight-faced and determined as if he hadn’t just forced someone to second-guess the meaning of life, I almost tipped over onto a tray stand. Instead, I merely knocked the tray on its edge, upending it into a slow-motion rollover that took three half-empty drinks glasses with it.
And I totally would have scrambled to the floor to help pick them up if I hadn’t been standing there stupid and brain-tied, wondering why my face felt like radio static as I watched Parker walk away.
“Huh?” I asked, apropos of nothing.
Parker quickly pulled me away from the broken glass before waving for a server’s help. When the server insisted they’d take care of it, Parker thanked them and gestured for me to follow him outside.
“Try to catch up, Jules,” he called over his shoulder as he stepped out into the sunshine.
And I was pretty sure he wasn’t talking about skiing.
15
PARKER
The four of us made our way out of the restaurant building and into the sunshine. It was a beautiful day to be on the slopes, and I was looking forward to sharing the experience with Julian.