Julian’s eyes locked on mine as he reached for my dick and squeezed it in his grip. When he began to shuttle it in his fist, I realized just how close I was.
“Gonna… Jules…” My breathing veered off-kilter, but it didn’t matter. I could see in his eyes he knew exactly what I needed, how I was feeling.
“Let go, Parks,” he urged. “Let me have this.”
I don’t want it to be over. I couldn’t say the words aloud, but suddenly, they were all I could hear in my head. What if he freaked out again? What if he left? Even though he’d made promises, I knew he could fall prey to the same fears after this, especially considering how intense it was between us like this.
“Parker. Come, goddammit,” he growled.
His command went straight to my balls. My muscles contracted everywhere, and a flood of heat shot through my groin a split second before I spilled on his hand and my stomach with a garbled shout. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t controlled or dignified in any way. I was a hot fucking mess, and if I’d been with anyone other than Julian, I probably would have felt humiliated.
But I was with Julian.
And that made all the difference.
He spat out a curse and thrust harder one more time before letting out a roar that startled me. I wanted to laugh, not at him, but simply from the sheer joy and euphoria of this discovery.
I was head over heels in love with Julian Thick. And the sex with him was mind-blowing. Win-win.
My life would never be the same.
As long as he didn’t run again.
14
JULIAN
I remembered telling a stranger once about the crush I had on my straight best friend. It was a guy I’d shared a few drinks with in an airport bar after he’d lamented a recent breakup of his own. We’d talked about how the reality of a thing is often not nearly as tantalizing as the fantasy.
What idiots we’d been.
The reality of sex with Parker Ellis was even better than the fantasy. In the fantasy, I’d never seen Parker’s eyes widen in discovery. I’d never heard the vulnerability in his pleas for more. And I’d never felt the reverent trace of his fingers across the ink on my chest.
Without removing myself from his body, I leaned in to brush his hair back from his face and press a kiss to his lips. He looked dazed or drunk, and it made me smile. “You good?”
A familiar goofy grin appeared as he reached out to tweak a piece of hair over my ear. “So fucking good.”
“We just had sex,” I said stupidly. “You and me.”
He nodded. “Don’t freak out. You promised.”
“I didn’t promise not to freak out. I only promised not to leave.”
He wrapped his legs around me, so I quickly reached to grab the condom and pull out.
“Give me a minute,” I said, moving off the bed and to the bathroom. After disposing of the condom and wetting a towel, I returned to help him clean up. This part of sex always seemed more intimate than anything else, and I enjoyed the chance to take care of him this way. Thankfully, he didn’t fight me on it and let me wipe him down while he stayed a little dazed on the bed.
When I climbed back in, I shoved him around until he was properly under the covers where I could join him. I propped my head on my hand and studied him. In so many ways, he was the same old Parker—same warm smile, watchful eyes, and incredibly handsome face. But he was also buck naked, with the truth of my attraction to him completely out in the open between us and the smell of sex hanging in the air around us, and all of that was so different that I wasn’t quite sure what to say to him or how to act.
I ran a hand over the light hair on his chest, but he grabbed it and pulled it to his mouth, pressing a light kiss on my palm while keeping his eyes on mine. “I’m exactly where I want to be right now,” he said, sounding like he truly meant it. It was almost a challenge. He was daring me to say this was wrong.
He would be disappointed.
“Same.”
He smiled and kissed my palm again. “Thank fuck.”
The word but was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit it back. There would be time for buts later. Right now was the time to enjoy this. Enjoy him. Enjoy us.
“I’ve never seen your orgasm face,” I teased. “It’s pretty epic.”
His laugh lines crinkled. “I’m sure no one’s seen that orgasm face before. The sex was epic.”
“Keep flattering me,” I urged, sliding one of my legs over his until my limp cock brushed his outer thigh. “I don’t mind.”
Parker reached out to trace the ink on my shoulder, something he’d always done, ever since I’d begun getting the tattoos. My skin craved his touch.
His voice was easy and light. “I remember one time a few years ago when you brought a guy up to Vail for the weekend. He looked at you like you were some kind of god. After two drinks at the bar with me and my work friends, the guy begged you to go back to the hotel room. I could tell he wanted to get you into bed, so I kept finding ways to keep you there in the bar longer.”
I huffed out a laugh. “I remember. His name was Thom with an H, and he introduced himself that way to everyone he met that night.”
Parker’s chest vibrated with his laughter. “Yeah. That’s right. I remember now. But I also remember wondering how he could possibly be that eager to get you into bed. We were having a good time, throwing darts and listening to good music, and all this guy wanted was to get into your pants.” His eyes met mine with a twinkle. “Now I know why.”
Before I could say anything, he laughed again and moved his fingers across my skin. “You’re getting blotchy. You can’t get blotchy with me. It’s not allowed.”
My skin felt hot and itchy like I was under a spotlight. “I can’t believe we just had sex together. It was good? I mean… it was okay? You’re okay?”
I’d gone from dominant to unsure in the time it took for a simple wipe-down. But this was Parker, and everything in my world was riding on his answer.
He pulled the hand he was holding until I was sprawled across his naked chest. “I’m okay. I already told you that, but you’re obviously still worried. Do you want to talk about it right now?”
I had a million questions. What did this mean for us? What did this mean for Erin? How would it change things between us? What would happen if it didn’t turn into the lifelong relationship I so desperately wanted it to be? And if it did—if by some miracle he was all in this with me—what would that look like? Would he want me to move to Vail? What kind of law would I practice?
Parker put his big hand over my face, a move he’d made many times before to annoy me. “Baby,” he said. And the word was said with such tenderness, such overwhelming understanding and affection, I got a lump in my throat.
“Maybe not the talking right now,” I admitted, shoving his hand aside and leaning my head down on his shoulder. “Not sure I’m ready.”
I could tell by his sigh that my words weren’t what he wanted to hear, but his hands moved up and down my back soothingly anyway. Being with him like this was incredible. I wanted to savor it.
“I have an idea,” he said after a little while. “Let’s pretend for tonight that we’re boyfriends. We’ve been together for a long time, and we tell each other everything. We are also two young, fit dudes with voracious sexual appetites, FYI, so the spark is still there in spades even though we’ve been together a long time.”