He’d meant us.
Because home was the two of us together.
I lifted my head to meet his eyes as my fingers came up to trace the designs I’d just worshiped. “You inked me into your skin, Julian. This is us right here. It’s always been us.”
He nodded, eyes filling with tears that I didn’t want him to cry. “I know,” he said in a broken voice. “But I’m so fucking scared you’re going to change your mind.”
“Jules—”
Julian tugged gently on my hair, forcing me to look at him. “No, listen. I heard everything you said earlier, and I…” He licked his lips. “I believe that you mean what you’re saying. And the last thing I want to do is be needy or piss you off or, god, hurt your feelings because I love you. But Parker, you have no idea what it’s been like all these years, falling for you a little more every day and then watching you get back together with Erin. I get why you did,” he hurried to assure me. “I know you were right earlier, too, when you said that if we’d gotten together at sixteen, we might not be the men we are, so I can’t regret the way things have worked out. But as much as I want to just accept this—Christ, as much as I want to revel in it—” He ran trembling fingers over my jaw, and his blue eyes blazed hotter. “I’m still scared. I don’t know how to make it go away.”
Warmth and relief spread through my chest that he’d spoken his fear out loud. As long as we could talk to each other, we could work through this.
I ran a thumb over his bottom lip. “Babe. I’m scared, too. I’m scared I’m not going to be enough for you. Smart enough, rich enough, worldly enough. I’m scared you’re going to be bored with a ski instructor who doesn’t like to travel very far from home and tells the same corny jokes over and over again.”
Julian opened his mouth to reassure me, but I pressed it closed again with my thumb. “But then I remember that you’re my Jules. You love me for who I am. And you know me better than anyone else and fell in love with me anyway. At least… well… I don’t know about in love. But I know you love me.”
Jules pressed a kiss on my thumb before moving my hand away from his face. His eyes shone with love and affection. “I have been in love with you most of my life. Having you here like this in my arms is a dream come true. And I want it to last. There’s not a world in which you could ever not be enough. You’re more than enough. And you’re never boring. Ever. You’re the most fun person I know, and you’re also the kindest person I know.”
I leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. This time was different. The kiss was long and slow, patient and effortless. It was the unspoken agreement between us that we were both here, and we would do our best for each other.
When Julian finally pulled away, he looked freer. “I’m all in, Parks. But you’re probably going to need to be patient with me because it’s not that easy to go from thinking this was never possible—and that you were lost to me forever with Erin—to suddenly having you here with me like this.”
“I know. All I’m asking is that you trust me not to leave. I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. I’m going to fuck up, but it’s not going to be because I don’t love you or don’t want you.”
Julian’s eyes took on an unmistakable glint of mischief. “I might enjoy schooling you on the finer points of pleasing a man in bed.”
Blood surged southward. “Mm. I’m pretty sure I’m already an expert. I’ve been pleasing myself in bed for a long time,” I teased, pressing my hardening cock against his.
“Sure, but have you ever sucked yourself off? I think not.” Julian’s eyes widened when he felt my dick move. “Oh, what do we have here? Someone might want to try something new?”
“Fuck yeah,” I breathed, scrambling down under the covers to shuck his underwear off so I could put my mouth on him.
I threw the covers off and yanked the cotton boxer briefs down until his fat cock rolled across his lower belly. Clear, sticky fluid draped from his slit to the dark, tidy curls above. I glanced up at him from between his legs.
“I used to sneak peeks at this, you know,” I said, reaching my fingers around his thick shaft. “I was obsessed with finding out what your dick looked like.”
Julian’s voice was throaty and deeper than normal. “Meanwhile, I spent my time trying to hide my erections whenever you were around.” A corner of his mouth ticked up. “I would have whipped it out for you anytime had you just asked.”
I grinned at him before sticking my tongue out and teasing him. Watching Julian’s face while I put my mouth on him for the first time was the hottest thing ever. His pupils widened, and his lips opened.
He tasted salty at the tip, and it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to try first. What made me feel good? What did I like? How could I drive him completely crazy?
After licking his cock around the outside, I finally put it in my mouth to suck. Julian’s hand moved to my hair and gripped gently but firmly. “That’s it,” he said. “Little more. You can do it.”
Julian’s deeper commanding tone made my balls tighten. I shifted the lower half of my body against the bed to get some friction. This was so fucking hot. Being here like this with him was insane.
I accidentally took too much and gagged. My eyes watered, and I convulsed, making my face flood with heat.
“Shh,” he said. “You’re doing great. Try again. Gagging’s good, babe. Show me how much you want my cock.”
I groaned around his dick. This dynamic was completely unexpected but so incredibly debauched. My dick throbbed, and my legs tingled.
Julian’s feet stretched and his legs trembled as I gave the blow job my best effort. He grunted when the tip of his cock hit my throat, and his hand tightened in my hair. I wasn’t sure whether he was aware of the gravelly commands that came out of his mouth.
“Take it. Like that. Good. Good. You like that. So fucking sexy. Look at your lips stretched around my cock. Get it wet. That’s it. Good.”
I blinked up at him through wet lashes. I wanted to be good for him. I wanted him to be proud of me and know I’d tried my best to please him. But at the same time, my dick was desperate for relief. I wondered if I could jack myself off while sucking him.
Before I could get my own underwear off, Julian had flipped me over onto my back and yanked my shorts down. When his hot mouth engulfed my hard length, I shouted into the room. “Fucking fuck! Jules, fuck! Oh god…”
It was too good. I was a goner. His strong hand gripped one of my thighs, and his other snuck a wet finger to my hole. As soon as the combination of his mouth on my dick and his finger in my ass came together in my brain, it was over.
My entire body contracted in the split second before the orgasm hit, and then I was panting and gasping, cursing and nearly choking on my own spit. I spilled in his mouth, and he swallowed it. I couldn’t believe the sight of him there taking everything from me.
When he pulled off, he lunged forward until he was straddling my hips. His hand shuttled over his wet cock as precum dripped from the tip in a long string. After several pumps of his hand, he threw his head back and came with my name on his lips and my cum on his chin.