I reached out to run my fingers through the puddle of warm spunk on my chest. How was it that every sexual encounter with Julian was hotter than the last? It was physical and primal, with nothing held back. With Julian, I felt completely free to be myself without fear of judgment.
Julian caught his breath enough to look down at me. “How is sex with you better than the fantasy?” he murmured under his breath.
I grinned up at him. “I’m incredible in the sack.”
He blew out a laugh, and his easy grin was almost as good at relaxing me as the orgasm had been. “You aren’t lying.”
I ran my hands up and down his thighs. “Take a shower with me?”
He nodded and climbed off me before reaching out to pull me up.
When we stepped under the warm spray, Jules pulled me into his arms. “I like this.” He kissed me under the water for several long minutes until reaching for the soap. “What’d you think about sucking cock? Was it weird?”
I brushed his flaccid dick with my fingers, making it swing heavily against his leg. “It was hot. But it was way hotter when you sucked me off and…”
He pinned me with a knowing glance. “And fingered your little desperate hole?”
“Mm. Maybe. That’s kind of… something I wouldn’t mind exploring more.”
He teased me while taking charge of washing my body. I enjoyed watching while his big, capable hands moved confidently across my skin. It made me wonder what he’d been like with other guys in the past. Had he taken charge with them? Was he always bossy in bed, or was he submissive sometimes?
“You’re looking at me funny,” he said with a laugh. “Get out and grab a towel. It’s late.”
I stepped out and did as he’d said. “You seem more okay with things now. Are you feeling better about it?”
Julian nodded and stepped onto the bath mat next to me. “Yeah.” He grabbed another towel and dried himself. When we climbed back into bed and pulled the covers around us again, he faced me. While we’d shared a bed many times, it was definitely different now. There were fewer barriers between us. Julian found my hand under the covers and threaded our fingers together. “It’s weird, though, you know? Thinking about having a future together in a real relationship. There’s always been a boundary there, and now that it’s gone, I have to keep reminding myself I’m allowed to think and feel and say things I haven’t been able to before.”
I brought his hand up to press a kiss against his knuckles. “Like what?”
The telltale blotchiness spread across his neck and chest. “Like I can talk about sex things with you. It’s still a little weird.”
“Are you worried about freaking me out or scaring me off?”
“I guess so. Even though I know you’re cool with it, there’s a difference between us talking about sex as friends and talking about sex as… partners. You’ve never been uncomfortable talking about gay sex, but you have been uncomfortable with me talking about gay sex. Which means I’m used to avoiding the topic with you. It’s something I need to get over.”
I kissed his fingers again. “I’m sorry. Maybe this is the right time to admit to being obscenely possessive and jealous.”
Jules let out a laugh and fell back on the bed. “Yeah, right. I’m the jealous one of the two of us. You’re the most chill boyfriend ever. You never had a problem with Erin dating other people when you were broken up. Hell, you probably told her she could sleep with other people if that would make her happy.”
I thought back to the texting we’d done after the breakup letter. “I actually did that,” I admitted. “But make no mistake. My lack of jealousy and possessiveness over Erin has nothing to do with how I feel about you. You’re in a whole different category.”
He turned his head on the pillow to face me again. The little dark curl over his ear that I loved so much drew my attention the way it always did. “How do you mean?” he asked. “Why would it be any different with me?”
I rolled over on top of him and braced my arms around his head to look directly into his eyes. “Everything is different with you. It always has been. Do you remember in third grade when Heather Jamison spilled her fruit punch on you at lunch and told everyone you peed yourself?”
Julian’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Uh, no?”
“Well, she did. And when she got sent to the principal’s office the following day, you thought it was unrelated. It wasn’t. I stole Ms. Trainor’s emergency chocolate bar from her top drawer and shoved it in Heather’s desk. Then I got Bart what’s-his-name to find it and tattletale. I wouldn’t commit petty theft for just anyone.”
Jules turned his head to kiss my forearm. “Sneaky little shit. You’ve always had my back. Like the time we were at that bar watching the Broncos game and you almost got in a bar fight with that guy who got in my face.”
The memory of that night filled me with rage all over again. Jules had complimented a woman on her dress, and the woman’s drunk boyfriend had mistaken Jules’s compliment for flirting. I’d found out later Hazel had recently ordered the same dress, so Julian had known that particular item was popular and hard to find.
“Fucking prick,” I muttered. “I would have put him down if you hadn’t stepped in front of me.”
Julian’s eyes glimmered. “One good shove was enough, babe. Anything more would have gotten us both arrested. You for decking the guy and me for busting you out of the patrol vehicle.”
“I should have kissed you on the mouth instead,” I said, looking down at his plush lips. “Maybe that would have convinced him you weren’t interested in his girlfriend.”
He grinned. “You’ve obviously forgotten Erin was with us. Not to mention I was dating Shane at the time, and he was a rabid monogamist, unlike Nolan. He was angry enough when you defended me before he had a chance to.”
“Shane,” I scoffed. I remembered the man Jules dated that year. He hadn’t exactly been the aggressive type. “Did he ever tell you about the time Tiller and I had words with him after a Riggers/Broncos game?”
Julian’s eyes widened in surprise. “No?”
I couldn’t help but steal a kiss of those full lips before telling him the story. When I finished, they were red and wet. I kissed him again quickly before pulling back. “He told Erin he planned to get you a pair of lovebirds for your birthday as a surprise.”
If it was possible for his eyes to widen even farther, they did. “Jesus fuck. His mom had pet birds. I hated them. He knew that. They never shut up, and they live for, like, decades.”
“She told him you wouldn’t like that and it was never a good idea to get someone a pet without talking to them first. Shane told her he knew you better than we did. I think you’d been dating for maybe six weeks at that point.”
Julian’s legs came up to wrap around my ass. My cock was already chubbing up between us. Being naked and pressed against him was a new privilege.
“You and Tiller talked him out of it, I assume,” he said. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
I leaned in close and dropped my voice. “I didn’t like the guy. He thought he knew you better than I did. He didn’t.”