You can’t fight a losing battle.
Some things are what they are and there’s no challenging them.
Kind of how I feel about Massimo.
I can deny it all I want because I know it’s a ridiculous impossibility for so many reasons, but none of that stops my heart from fluttering uncontrollably when he’s near.
None of it convinces the butterflies in my belly to stop dancing with glee when his lips brush against mine.
And none of those reasons can convince me that what I’m feeling is any bit fleeting.
There’s a connection between us and it’s explosive, like a chemistry experiment gone awry.
I look at him now, and despite all of the unanswered questions peppering my mind about what my life has become over the past week and a half and what it will be beyond today, I know one truth for absolute certain.
“I’m falling in love with you,” I blurt in a choked whisper.
His arms tighten around me, my skin prickling under the pads of his fingertips.
But he doesn’t speak.
He doesn’t smile.
He just stares.
A sharp pang slices through my heart.
He doesn’t feel the same way…
I swallow hard to disperse the knot of tears that has taken up residence in my throat.
How fucking stupid was I for opening my big, damn mouth?
I could have just laid here and indulged in the most amazing sex I am sure to experience in my life, keeping my lips and tongue otherwise occupied, but no, I had to say the freaking words.
I blink fast to keep the tears from pooling in my eyes.
It’s just because I’m lonely.
And sad.
So incredibly sad.
I’m not really falling for him.
I’m just comfortable with him. And secure. And horny as hell.
That’s it.
It’s not love.
There! So nothing to be embarrassed about.
No emotional entanglements for me.
Nope, nope, nope!
“Kristina,” he mumbles.
Freaking finally!
“No, please,” I interrupt. “You don’t have to say anything. I shouldn’t have put it out there.” I force myself to laugh. “I don’t even really mean it. I think I’m just overly emotional these days, you know? With everything that’s happened…and happening…” I try to pull away from him so I can hide my flaming hot cheeks from his pensive gaze.
His musk intoxicates me, the scent of sandalwood and spices swirling around my nostrils as he captures my wrist in his fingers, gently tugging me back toward him.
“You think you’re gonna run now?” he growls, the low hum of his raspy voice vibrating against my ear. “You think you can say that and that I’m gonna let you leave?”
My heart pounds as if it’s an 808 drum being assaulted by a mallet during the St. Patrick’s Day Parade in New York City.
Yes, that hard.
“I shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t want you to think I’m some stage five clinger just because you’re my first—”
He presses his finger against my lips to silence me. “I think you’ve said enough. For now, anyway.” His lips curl upward and my body instinctively melts into him. There’s just something about the shape of his mouth, the smolder in his gaze, and the dimple in his cheek that makes me morph into a pile of lovesick goo.
Gah!
Love!
No, no, no!
How could I possibly think it’s love when I don’t even know his last name?
Shit.
I really don’t know his last name.
There is so much I don’t know about him.
And I haven’t even finished ‘diagnosing’ my parents’ murder yet. For all I know, he could be involved.
I had a plan to steal his phone and then got sidetracked by his dick.
And tongue.
Some fabulous sleuth I’d be.
A delicious shiver whispers over my skin, his gaze infecting me with fever that invades every last cell of my being.
And suddenly, I know I’m not wrong about him.
He was sent to me…to us…for some reason.
To protect us, to save us…in more ways than one.
His mouth opens and I shake my head. “Don’t do it,” I whisper. “Don’t say it. When you say it…if you say it…I want it to be real and because you want to, not because you don’t want to hurt me.” I want to believe his feelings match mine, but I didn’t think it through before I’d just put it out there and completely exposed myself to him.
Maybe it’s not even what I think it is.
It could be obsession. I mean, it’s definitely possible.
“Then let me show you, instead,” he murmurs, dragging one hand down the front of my chest, dipping his head over my breasts and taking each nipple between his lips, suckling them to the point where I cry out because the tingling is that intense.
When he finishes worshipping my body, he flips me on top of him, positioning me over his massive cock. I wiggle my hips over him, throwing my head back as the tip grazes my pussy lips. He grips my hips and drives into me, stretching me wide, a searing burn incinerating my core. I slice into his pecs with my fingernails, digging them into his flesh as he guides me over his cock. I fall forward onto my hands, my hair tumbling over my shoulders and spilling onto his chest. I clench him tight, my pussy clamping around him as the essence of my desire flows between us.
Lightning crashes between my ears, blinding bright white light flashing behind my eyes. I tremble and quiver, his cock pulsating between my thighs. I am paralyzed by the force of the eruption gathering speed and power deep within my core, every nerve ending on fire. I gasp for air, choking on stilted breaths as Massimo gathers me in his arms. He positions me on his lap, thrusting slowly in and out of my pussy as I bury my head in his neck, crying out for the release that only he can give me. Shockwaves crash over me as if I’ve just stuck my wet finger into an electric socket.
His movements speed up, his groans telling me he is right with me, right at the edge of the cliff.
And I want us to nosedive off of it together.
My screams shatter the still air and he pulls me tight against him, tremors shuddering our flushed bodies as we ride out the wave of euphoria that carries us over the brink.
I finally collapse against him, throwing my arms tight around his neck and letting out a slow and unsteady breath. “Oh my God,” I whisper, gently tugging on his earlobe with my teeth. “That was fucking incredible.”
“You’re fucking incredible,” he mutters. “No matter what happens, you need to know that.”
I swallow hard, ragged breaths ravaging my chest as my mind tries to process his words.
He pulls away slightly, his eyes a mess of emotions that I’ve never seen before.
They’re usually guarded, cold, and impervious to the penetrating stares of the outside world.
He’s never let me in quite like this, never opened up his soul to me in a way that I can fully understand.
Even after the last time…my first time…he held me at bay.
For professional reasons, personal reasons, maybe both.
But now, the gates have opened, the shields retracted.
I can see so much.
It’s complicated and intricate, the ending still an unknown.
Our story isn’t black and white.