“He knows you’re my Dom. He thinks you work in security. I kind of told him you were a bodyguard. I didn’t want him to think you were involved in investigations.”
“Good. Bodyguards are supposed to keep their mouths shut and not ask questions.” He wished he could have controlled that particular narrative, but the truth was no one would buy he was some IT guy. He didn’t have those skills. Bodyguard was a good way to go. “It’s close enough to the truth that it shouldn’t trip me up. Now how have you explained why I don’t come up to the office?”
She shrugged. “You’re working. I’m working. We’re busy.”
“But we have to meet with him. He’ll have questions about our relationship that we’ll need to be able to answer.”
“I think he’ll be more interested in what you know about D/s.”
“He’ll want to watch us as a couple,” he corrected. “That’s how he’ll learn. We need to have a basis for the type of relationship we have. Have you been pretending to take calls and texts from me checking up on you? Because that kind of relationship wouldn’t be kept to after hours.”
“I didn’t tell him that. I…I…” She groaned and leaned against the stone walls. “I pretty much made it sound like a fucking romance novel. I made it all the things you said because I didn’t like the thought of anyone having control over me in real life. So yes, I told him you were my boyfriend and that we played.”
He’d thought as much. He rather thought she was playing out a fantasy. He was fine with that. She was his fantasy, too. The trouble was she’d always been way more stubborn than he was, and it was obvious she would fight him on this. If he had time, he would take it slow, give her all the space she needed. But they were on a clock and going into a dangerous op. He was going to be blunt with her. About everything. “Did you tell him we don’t fuck?”
Her cheeks went the cutest pink. “No. Of course not. But I also didn’t go into detail with him. I didn’t talk about sex. We mostly discussed the lifestyle in intellectual terms. You know when you think about it that way, he might buy the idea that we aren’t physically close.”
“Is he a man?”
Her eyes rolled. “Yes.”
“Then he thinks we’re fucking, and he’ll be able to tell we aren’t. If he’s studied for any amount of time, he’ll be able to catch on that we’re uncomfortable with each other. Or rather that you’re uncomfortable with me.”
“Why just me? Why would I be the uncomfortable one?”
“Because I’m not uncomfortable at all. I still remember exactly how good it feels to be inside you, Madeline. I remember everything about fucking you. I’ll be perfectly comfortable sliding back into the role of the man who makes you come. I don’t think you can say the same.”
The pink deepened to red. “I…I…Deke, it’s not like I could forget. You were my first boyfriend. But we’ve both moved on. We’ve had other partners.”
“I’ve never loved any one like I loved you.” He wasn’t going to lie to her. Not about this. “Every sexual partner I’ve had since paled in comparison to what we had.”
Her eyes slid away from him. “I didn’t come out here to reconnect with you in that way.”
Yet she’d used his name when she’d needed to come up with a fantasy Dom. She’d studied up on the lifestyle because Angie mentioned he was in it. Not the other way around. “Would it be bad? We’re adults. We’re about to be put into a very intimate situation. I’ll need to stay at your place, be close to you when we’re at The Reef. I’ll pretend to be in your bed. Why not simply be in your bed?”
“I have a boyfriend.”
He hadn’t known that four words could gut him quite the way those did. He stopped, trying to process them. All of his plans were upended with those four words. They needed a new plan. “Does Byrne know about him? He didn’t question why you had a Dom and a boyfriend.”
“No. Nolan hasn’t met Dan.” Something about the tight set of her jaw made him wonder. “He’s not in the same field so he hasn’t come to any of our functions. Yet.”
Was she fucking lying to him? Her eyes had slid away when she said the word boyfriend. He could figure it out very quickly. “Well, I think we should call him and bring him in on the plan. He must be worried sick. I can teach him how to top you. Obviously the man you’re sleeping with would be a better fit than an unwanted old flame.”
“What?”
Yes, there was the expression he’d been looking for, the one of surprise and a bit of panic. The question was did this man exist? “I can bring him up to date. What kind of work does he do?”
Maddie’s jaw had dropped. “He can’t… Deke, I’m not involving him in this.”
“What do you mean? If he’s your boyfriend, he’s not going to take kindly to another man touching you. I can pose as his mentor. A lot of D/s couples have mentors, especially in the beginning.” It would kill him to train another man to top her, but he would do it if he had to. Her safety was more important than what he wanted.
He’d taken one look at her and been fifteen fucking years old and head over heels in love. They weren’t kids anymore. Time and distance and life itself had seasoned them in different ways, and if she had a man she cared for, he wouldn’t shove himself back into her life.
He’d sacrificed his needs for her once before. If she was in love, he could do it again.
But if she was being a scaredy cat lying coward, then all bets were off.
“Dan doesn’t know,” Maddie admitted. “I haven’t told him about any of this.”
“You haven’t told the man you’re sleeping with that you’re going to try to catch your boss doing something that could affect national security?” How the fuck close could they be if she hadn’t mentioned she was in trouble? “Where does he think you are right now?”
“I didn’t exactly tell him. We’re not at a place in our relationship where I feel like I need to tell him everything. It’s a new relationship.”
Every instinct inside him flared. “But you are sleeping with him.”
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.”
“If I’m running this op, everything about you is my business.”
“You’re not really running it for my good, are you?” Her shoulders squared, a sure sign she was ready for an argument. There was nothing she liked more than a good argument, and he used to never give her one. Back in the day, he let her walk those pretty feet all over him. “You’re here because your boss wants to know who my boss is meeting with.”
He’d explained that his goal would be twofold—help her find out what Byrne was doing and identify the woman he was meeting with. She had an appointment with Adam Miles tomorrow morning to tell him everything she could remember about the mysterious lady. “I would have gone back with you either way. I wouldn’t have left you alone.”
That seemed to deflate some of her bravado. “And I appreciate that, but I meant what I said. I didn’t come back for a reunion. That was over a long time ago, and it’s best left in the past. I think we need to keep things as professional as possible, and that means I’m not going to talk about my relationship with Dan. I will tell you that we haven’t been dating long, but it’s something I’m pursuing. I’ll let him know I’ve got to keep my head down for a couple of weeks and it should be fine.”