There was a click that let him know he’d been dismissed.
Bitch. He would show her. He would become her Dom and then her god.
He set the phone down and messaged Madeline back.
He would jump through her hoops, and then she would find out how fast that hoop could tighten around her throat.
Chapter Eight
Maddie sat on her bed and rethought every decision she’d made tonight.
Mostly she rethought the decision to bring Deke into her bedroom. How the hell was she supposed to climb into bed with him? Maybe she could sleep in her reading chair. Or out on the couch in the living room. In the moment it had seemed like such a good idea, but now the reality of the day set in. It pressed on her chest and made her feel like she couldn’t breathe.
The door to her bathroom came open and Deke was standing there wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He had another towel in his hand, and he ran it over his dark hair. He looked far too good to be true, every inch of his body muscular and fit. “You doing okay? Everyone in their rightful places?”
Her evening had turned into one long mission briefing where she hadn’t understood half of what they were saying. She’d spent most of her time trying not to show how worried she was. And watching Boomer inhale an unholy amount of food. She’d eaten next to nothing. How could she think about food when the world was falling apart and it might be her fault?
“Yes. Although I think Kyle’s worried Dan is going to try to sneak into MaeBe’s room and…Drake.” She felt herself flush remembering how the man had tricked her. “His name is Drake.”
Deke stepped in front of her. “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry it got out of hand. I didn’t mean to talk for so long. I just wanted to make sure our Agency friend understands the plan.”
She nodded. “It’s okay. I’m glad we’re getting to bed early. I’ve got a lot to do in the morning. I’ve already heard back from Nolan. He wants to meet you tomorrow.”
His hand came out, brushing over her hair. His tone went deep and smooth. “Then we should get some practice in. I was hoping we could get into the hot tub, but I don’t trust Drake not to try to join us, and then I’ll have to kill him.”
It was hard to believe that it had only been a few hours before that she’d thought seriously about getting into the hot tub naked with him. That moment seemed like it was a world away now. “I’ll be all right. I don’t think we’ll be doing a scene tomorrow. I think the most we have to worry about is coffee.”
“No, but how we present ourselves as a couple is important. And I also think you’ve had a rough day, and this doesn’t have to be about training. I’m using the word to make it easier for you to give yourself permission to relax.”
He didn’t understand her at all. “I don’t think I need to relax. I think I’ve been far too relaxed. I’ve always thought I was a smart woman, the kind that would notice if someone was going to use her work to kill people.”
“You did.” Deke’s steady tone grated on her, showing her how calm he was when she felt like falling apart. “You noticed something was wrong. You can’t be this hard on yourself.”
But she could. It was the one thing she absolutely knew how to do. “I thought someone was trying to steal the tech or sell it to some other country. I never dreamed they would use my work to… I’m not even sure I understand what they’re trying to do.”
She stood, her gut churning. Anger and confusion warred with the guilt she felt.
They’d used her work to try to blow up a nuclear power plant and kill thousands of people and she’d just sat there at the dinner table.
She should have known. It wasn’t like this hadn’t happened before. Time and time again scientists had made breakthroughs only to have their peaceful work perverted for the industrial-military machine.
“Hey, it’s going to be all right, Maddie.”
She turned on him. “No, it’s not. Do you know how long and hard I’ve worked for this?”
“I do.”
He couldn’t possibly know. He couldn’t understand what she’d given up. A life. Friends. Lovers.
Him. Except she hadn’t given him up. He’d given up on her.
“You can’t understand.”
“I don’t have to understand to sympathize. Of course you’re upset. So let me help you,” he said in a tone she was sure was meant to soothe.
“By doing what?” She practically spat the question at him. “What is the great Deke Murphy going to do to make me feel better?”
“I’m going to spank you and then I’m going to fuck you, Madeline.”
She stopped in her tracks.
“You feel out of control, and there’s nothing you can do about it tonight.” He stood there with his perfect body and gorgeous face. “So let someone else be in control for a while. Don’t think about anything else but me and you and how good we can make each other feel.”
It was a trap, but she wasn’t sure it was one she could avoid.
“I can’t just lie over your lap like some wayward child.” She couldn’t wrap her brain around it.
He moved in again, and there was a darkness in his eyes that made her step back, one and then two steps until she hit the wall, and still he moved in. His shoulders had come down, but not in a relaxed fashion. Oh no. This was the stance of a predator who knew he was about to take down his prey.
“Tell me what you need,” he ordered in a deep tone.
“I need for none of this to have happened.”
He slapped at the wall behind her. “I can’t fix that for you. Tell me what you need here and now. This doesn’t work if you aren’t honest. Honest with me. Honest with yourself. What do you need to get through the night? Don’t think about tomorrow. We’ll deal with tomorrow when it comes. I’m talking about tonight. What do you need to let me in?”
Her back was against the wall, and he loomed over her. Honesty. What was her first instinct? Was it to push him back and get him out of her space? No. She didn’t want him to leave. She wanted what he’d promised her, but she didn’t want to ask for it. “I’m angry and I can’t seem to scream or cry. I’m stuck in a corner, and I don’t know how to get out.”
His hand came up, circling her throat. If anyone besides Deke had wrapped a big hand around her neck she would have fought. Instead, she felt her nipples go hard, the tension inside her beginning to transform. “You need someone to fight. You need someone to make you cry. I can do that for you, and then I promise I’ll make you come and then I’ll hold you all fucking night long and I won’t take a single thing for myself unless you say it’s okay. This can be nasty and rough. It can be anything you need. You need me to be the bastard who forces you to submit, I can do that. It’s all an illusion because you can stop me at any time. It’s play, but it can get you where you need to go.”
She wouldn’t have to ask him? Wouldn’t have to beg? She couldn’t beg right now. “This doesn’t change anything.”
That hand moved to her hair, tangling his fingers in. “Of course not. It’s only play. It’s nothing but me being your Dom. What’s your safe word?”