He tugged her nipple between his thumb and forefinger and twisted. “If you keep it up, I’ll have you in clamps. They’ll bite into your nipples and get them ruby red for me.”
“Promises, promises.” She couldn’t let him get tender on her. She needed this fight between them, needed him to break her walls down. She couldn’t bring them down on her own, and those walls were holding something she needed to purge.
He eased off her and caught her when she tried to roll off the bed. He hauled her up and had her over his knees in a heartbeat. She’d put on pajama pants earlier, trying to cover for how long it had taken to shift Deke’s luggage to her room by changing clothes. The stretchy material made it easy for Deke to pull her pants down and off her legs.
Vulnerable. She felt so damn vulnerable.
Then she felt pain because Deke’s hand came down on her ass.
No one had ever spanked her. Not her parents. Certainly not a boyfriend. The sound cracked through the air as he slapped her cheeks again. Then she gritted her teeth and blinked back tears.
“Is this what you want, baby? You want me to be the bad guy?” Deke’s hand came down again. “I’ll be the bad guy. I’ll be the one who makes you cry. I’ve done it before. I’m always the bad guy.”
He wasn’t. He was the best man she’d ever met, and that was what made it so hard that he hadn’t loved her the way she’d loved him.
Now she was alone, and he’d only come out here to save her damn life, and it was so screwed up.
He spanked her over and over, and the wall finally broke. Tears dripped from her eyes, and she let them go. He was here with her in this one moment in time, and it was safe to let it all go. She sobbed, and it took her a moment to realize that Deke had stopped spanking her. Somehow he’d managed to turn her over and settle her on his lap, his arms coming around her.
“That’s good, baby. Cry all you like.” He held on to her, his voice cracking like he was about to cry with her.
It was the closest she’d felt to another human being since…since him.
Him. Always him.
He had her out of the ropes with a few pulls, and she followed her instincts. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close, letting out all the fear and anxiety of the last few weeks, purging it from her soul so she could function.
She cried for the longest time. All the while Deke sat there, holding her and rocking with her.
She finally laid her head on his shoulder, a beautiful sense of peace coming over her.
“Are you all right?” Deke asked the question as he brushed back her hair.
She was still wearing her bra, which had one cup out of place, and that was the only clothing she wore. Her face was probably a mess, and she was sitting on top of the hottest man she’d ever met. He was naked, too. It was weird and should be awkward, and it was so comforting she never wanted to leave this place.
She was tired and spent and still needy.
“Do you want to take a shower, baby?” Deke asked, the low rumble of his voice seeming to roll across her skin.
She’d purged one need but another remained, and she was done fighting it. “I don’t want a shower.”
“All right. I’m going to get you in bed and then I think I’m going to go for a jog,” Deke replied.
“You promised me, Deke. You’ve made good on half of it,” she pointed out. This was Deke being Deke. She didn’t take it that he didn’t want her. She could feel his cock, and he wasn’t trying to get out of sex with her.
“Nothing else has to happen. I need you to understand that.”
She was going to have to show him she was okay and perfectly capable of making terrible decisions all on her own. She slid off his lap and unhooked her bra before walking to the side of her normally lonely bed. All the bad shit was gone now, and arousal was the only thing she felt.
Arousal and the need to be close to him. A relationship wouldn’t work this time, either, but she wasn’t going to sleep alone while he was here. He was it for her, and she would take any time she had with him. She was done denying herself. She would deal with the heartache later.
She wanted him now.
Maddie laid down on the bed, all her inhibitions gone. They’d shared something far more intimate than sex. Now she wanted the fun part. He stood at the end of the bed, his cock still hard, and watched as she spread her legs wide for him.
“I think you said something about making a meal out of me.” She laid back, ready to take everything that man had to give.
* * * *
Deke felt every fiber of his being go insane with wanting.
Madeline Hill was laid out and waiting for him, her lovely body still flush from the emotional time they’d spent.
She’d sobbed in his arms, and his heart had broken. He’d held her and wondered who’d been here for her in the years he’d been gone. He’d found a whole other family. Who’d held her and promised her everything would be all right?
Her tears had gutted him for another reason, too. He’d been the bad guy, the one who pushed her until she cried. He seemed to always be the bad guy with her, but here she was, opening herself up to him, giving him what he wanted.
His body was beyond eager. His soul was wary. “You’re not mad at me?”
She’d read a lot about the lifestyle, but she wasn’t experienced. The scene they’d just played out had been a heavy one. It wouldn’t have surprised him if she’d asked him to leave and let her recover on her own. He would do it. He would put on his clothes and go sit outside until she let him back in. Or sleep on the couch and deal with the ramifications.
She sighed and rolled over, propping her head on her hand. “You want to talk now. So much talking in D/s. No. Why would I be mad at you? You did what I asked you to do. I needed to cry. It’s hard for me. Especially when I’m anxious. I internalize a lot.”
“It was a heavy scene. It didn’t scare you?”
“I found it surprisingly hot. I think I might be a little freaky. I kind of liked you manhandling me,” she admitted.
“Kind of?” He climbed on the bed with her. “I think it was a little more than kind of. I think you liked it a lot.” They did need to talk about the scene, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t give her what she wanted. He could multitask. He put a hand on her ankle, running his palm up her leg. “I think you’ve always liked some role play with your sex. Even when you’re not emotional.”
She allowed him to roll her on her back, her eyes drifting closed as he stroked his hand over her silken skin. She was calm now, her whole body relaxed, when she’d been a bundle of stress before. “I suppose you could say all my sex has been vanilla up until now. Although we haven’t actually had sex. It might be fun, though.”
He would love to play with her, to sit down and plan out scenes or let things happen organically. He would love to explore how creatively he could fuck her. She had a big imagination and was a total geek, so he could see some cosplay in his future.
If they had a future…
There was one thing he needed her to understand. He cupped her breast, loving the softness of her skin and the way her nipple had peaked against his palm. “You are not responsible for anything that is happening now or what the people who are using your technology do with it.”