“Hi, I’m Trudy,” Andrew’s assistant said. “Can I help?”
I glanced at my watch. It was ten to twelve. I was early. But I wasn’t going to stand around making small talk. That’s not what Andrew would do.
“I’m here to see Andrew.” I swept past her desk.
“Excuse me, no visitors—”
Ignoring her as she pushed out of her chair and headed toward me, I opened Andrew’s door and shut it behind me.
Andrew jumped up out of his seat like I’d given him an electric shock.
Shit. Why did he have to have those big, soulful eyes and such touchable hair? He looked tired. I wanted to ask him what had been going on and what I could do to help, but the sound of Trudy crashing through the door behind me brought me back to the moment.
“I barged in,” I said. “It wasn’t Trudy’s fault.”
“I know,” he said, not taking his eyes off me.
“I’m sorry, Andrew, I didn’t—”
“Leave us.” Andrew shoved his hands in his pockets. We both waited as Trudy retreated.
“You really should be nicer to your assistants,” I said.
“Thanks for coming by.”
What was he thanking me for? “You don’t know why I’m here yet.”
He shrugged. “Go ahead.”
Something was off. Andrew should have yelled at me for barging in here before twelve, or at the very least ignored me like I was one of the abstract paintings on the wall. Maybe the dark circles under his eyes were thanks to more than basic exhaustion. I took a step toward him, my body instinctively wanting to soothe him and be soothed by him, but abruptly, I remembered who we were to each other now. He was my boss. And he was responsible for deciding my bonus. I wasn’t going to mess this up. I had to stay focused.
“I’m good at my job,” I said.
Andrew nodded.
“That operational plan I produced was excellent. I know you liked it. And Goode really likes me. That’s why I’ve got this job in the first place.”
Andrew frowned. “One of the reasons, but go on.”
“What Verity needs now is stability. Commitment. Long-term thinking.”
I paused, but Andrew remained silent.
“I want part of my salary and my full bonus in advance. Specifically, I want forty-three thousand dollars or the equivalent in pounds. We’ll draw up a contract that covers all the details—a payback penalty if I leave before the three-year mark, for starters, and any other assurances you need.”
Still no reaction from Andrew.
I slumped in one of his visitor chairs like all my energy had drained away from my body, leaving me with limbs too weak to hold me upright. I’d done it. I’d asked him. It had taken more from me than I expected.
“For your mum’s operation?” he asked.
“It doesn’t matter what it’s for. It’s a business proposition, nothing personal about it.” I knew that he didn’t like to mix personal and professional. I wasn’t going to make the mistake of trying to appeal to his human side. That didn’t wash with Andrew.
“Okay,” he said. “You can have half of everything.”
I glanced up at him. “Half?” Half might work. If I saved my salary and moved to a smaller apartment, I could come up with the rest some other way. “What about thirty? Can I have thirty?”
“You can have half of everything I have.”
He came to sit on the visitor chair next to me, leaned forward, and tried to catch my eye. “I don’t mean that. It sounds clinical. I mean . . . I want you to share it all with me.”
He wasn’t making any sense. His voice had a weirdly soft edge to it. “You want part of my bonus?”
“No . . .” He leaned back on his chair and pushed his hands through his hair. “I’m galactically bad at this. I wasn’t expecting you today. I’ve been trying to figure out a way of . . . saying that I want—”
“Half my bonus? Is the business doing badly?”
He started to laugh. “This is ridiculous. Let’s take the bonus out of this conversation.”
“No!” I said, standing. “That’s why I’m here. I want my bonus now.”
“You can have your bonus, Sofia.”
I was entirely confused now. “I can? Like, the entire forty-three thousand?”
“Let’s make it an even fifty. That way, wherever you got that seven, you can give it back.”
I had to sit again as the energy drained from my legs. It was like I’d been heaving against a locked door with all my strength, only to have Andrew open it and let me in. “Okay,” I said, lifting my hands in the air. I’d given up trying to understand what was going on.
“But I’m serious, Sofia. I want to share everything with you.”
I don’t know whether it was because he looked at me like I was his entire world, or because my entire body flushed with heat at the realization that we were so close, but suddenly I realized that we weren’t talking about business anymore.
“Share everything?”
He nodded. “Everything. My life. My day. My . . . bed.”
I shivered at his words. What had changed? “But the separation of business and—”
“Everything.”
Frustrated by his eerie calm, I felt a sizzle of irritation coursing through my veins. “I’m going to need more than one-word answers, Andrew. Tell me what’s going on.”
“I wasn’t expecting you today. I’ve not figured out exactly what I need to say. But I do know that I don’t like being without you. I can’t do it. I won’t.”
I sighed. “Well, that makes two of us.”
“But it’s more than that. Since you starting at Verity, I’ve realized how . . . God, I’m trying really hard not to sound like I’m negotiating a business deal, but I’m not good at this stuff.” He banged his fist on his desk.
I covered it with my hand. “It’s me, Andrew. Just talk. We’ll figure it out.”
He looked at me and swept his fingers over my cheekbone. “I’m in love with you.”
My breath hitched in my chest and my heart fought to free it. “You’re in love with me?”
He chuckled. “Yes. I don’t want to be without you. I want to wake up next to you for the rest of my life.”
“But what about the separation between work life and—”
“Honestly, I’m not sure I have a solution to that yet. I still don’t think me being your boss is a good idea. Even when we’re married.”
I stood up like someone had stuck a cattle prod up my ass. “Married?” I’d come in here for a bonus, not a husband.
He stood up too, those soulful eyes fixed on mine. “I mean if. If we—I mean . . . Even if we’re—unless.” He stopped himself. “I’m fucking everything up. I hate being unprepared.” He marched around his desk and sat in his usual chair.
My mind was racing, trying to keep up with what the hell was going on.
“These are the facts,” he said, bouncing up to his feet again. “I’m in love with you. I can’t stop thinking about you. I want to be with you. I’ve never felt . . . No, that sounds trite.” He cleared his throat and tented his fingers on the desk. “When you’re not with me, I feel like a piece of me is missing. Like there’s a life I should be living somewhere and I’m in the wrong place. I’ve always been so certain about everything and now . . . everything with you is new and terrifying and completely comforting. Life with you is where I was meant to be all along and finally, I’ve found you.” He took a breath, clearly preparing to go on. I wasn’t used to so many words from Andrew’s mouth all at once. “You get me and seem to like me anyway. Being together and working together will be a challenge, but if that’s what you want, we’ll make it work. If you want to get another job, one where I’m not your boss, we’ll make that happen too. I want to do whatever it takes to be with you.”