She kissed me, pleased. “Yeah, you are.” Then, she sat down on the damn driveway in her designer jeans and entered into a ten-minute lovefest with my dog, who had lost his damned mind at her return. I thought he was about to wag himself into space with the intensity of his celebration. “Did you miss me, you little furry nugget?” She cradled his cheeks for several of her signature puppy kisses, quick little pecks on his face that he seemed to enjoy every second of. It was the one time he’d gone still since the cab had pulled up.
“He wrote you letters each day. Howled sad songs at the base of my bed. Ran his tin can along my headboard.”
“Is that true?” she asked Micky, sympathy in full gear. “Oh no.”
“I joined him. A duet.”
She laughed and touched my chin. “Well, howl no more, you two. I’m home. You’re still beyond beautiful. Let’s go inside, order in, and you can tell me everything I missed at the station, and leave no gossip behind.”
“Deal.” I grabbed her bag, she grabbed my dog, and we wandered our way through the greenery-lined sidewalk to her home, which was beginning to feel awfully comfortable to me. I liked that I knew where things like the good scissors lived. I could find my way in the dark for a drink of water and knew how to work each and every remote. Things were getting serious. We were domestic.
“You’ve given me the conference headlines, but how was it?” I took a seat on the couch and Micky hopped into my lap. “Was your talk well received? Did they love you?”
“They really did.” She took a moment and looked skyward as if piecing together her thoughts. “It went better than I thought it would, and Skyler, I really think I needed that.”
“Yeah?” I grinned, happy to hear it. “Tell me more.”
She sat on the couch and swiveled so she faced me, full of energy. “I don’t think I’d realized it, but my confidence at work has taken a bigger hit than even I knew. But being in that environment, exchanging ideas, meeting people who were excited to hear what I had to say was…so encouraging. Like the best kind of pep talk. I left the conference feeling bolstered and renewed, ready to get back to work.”
She was right. There was a new lightness and an elevated energy to the way she carried herself, like she was ready to conquer the world rather than stare at a blank wall. “It sounds like it served as a reset button.”
She beamed. “That’s exactly what it was like.” She paused and placed a hand on my leg. “And at the same time, all I wanted in the world was to rush back here and tell you all about it.”
My body went warm and soft as I let the words wash over me. “Really?”
She nodded, and that’s when I saw it. Her eyes were filled with tears. “I have enjoyed every moment we’ve spent together, Skyler. And I want more. Lots more.”
“Me, too,” I said, sitting taller, thrilled with the moment, my feelings, and this connection. “I had this fantastic experience and left work so excited, and it lost something because you weren’t there to share it with me.” I took a deep breath. “That means something, right? We should maybe pay attention.”
She nodded. “I think so.”
“This is different for me. Us. I’ve never had this before.”
She didn’t miss a beat. “I haven’t either.” The exciting energy between us bounced back and forth, highlighting the fact that we were on the same damn page, and how amazing was that?
I smiled. “Not even that Audra woman? She’s beautiful, you know.”
“She’s not you,” she said, smile gone. “No one is you.”
I felt every word of that sentence and pulled her hands to me, staring at them, tracing each vein, allowing myself to tap into every part of her. And, oh, did the floodgates open. My heart grew, and I got this unusual lump in my throat. “I want to be good at this. At us. In fact, I’m terrified not to be.”
She nodded and intertwined our fingers. “I happen to think you’re doing a great job. Are you afraid of me?”
I considered the question. I wasn’t afraid of Carrie or what I was feeling, but I was afraid that my feelings would surpass hers. After all, I had a history in life. I’d always been the chaser rather than the chasee and just didn’t want to have to watch another uneven relationship in my life play out. That was my fear. I wanted someone to want me every bit as much as I longed for them. I rolled my lips in and exhaled a short breath. “My mom worked really hard, but she wasn’t around much as a result. I don’t blame her, but she wound up with her own life, friends, and interests. For a while, when I was young, she lived in another city entirely. It was for a noble cause, but I was always aware she made the choice to be far away from me.” I closed my eyes, embarrassed. “And I have zero idea why I’m telling you this now.”
“I do.”
“Yeah?”
She kissed the back of my hand. “It sounds like from early on, you’ve been seeking out love from other people who weren’t always there for you.”
Well, she’d just gone and summed up my entire existence in one sentence. Because it hadn’t stopped there. I’d seen it in even my short-term relationships. Kacey, no less. “Yes. That would be accurate. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it out loud before.” I laughed sardonically. “Has a nice ring to it.”
“I think it’s perfectly natural to want love.”
I held my breath because the word was right there, introduced into the conversation by Carrie, and the perfect opening. It played on my tongue as I waited to see what direction she’d go. I wanted to tell her how deeply in love I had already fallen, but I’d be first. Terrifying. What if I was met with silence? What would I do then?
“That’s the thing.” I met her beautiful blue eyes that now searched mine with white hot intensity. “I’m already gone on you.” It wasn’t quite the word love, but surely she understood. “And maybe you’re still early, maybe you’re—”
“Gone, too?”
“Oh.” I inhaled. My heart skipped pleasantly. “Maybe that.”
“Then let me show you, so you’re sure.” She tilted her head and leaned in, brushing her lips across mine softly, slowly, reverently, before deepening the kiss. My lips parted, and her tongue made entrance as every part of me craved her. I came alive beneath the brush of those lips. She climbed onto my lap, and nothing had ever been as satisfying as the welcome weight of her body on mine. She sat back and met my gaze. “More than a little bit gone.” She let the words hang in the air a moment before leaning in and picking up where she left off, kissing my neck sensually, pulling soft murmurings from me until I insisted we move things to the bedroom. I needed her skin on mine. Her chest pressed to my heart.