Kristin was right, of course, but as professional as Carrie was, she was also hurt and mourning the loss of her job and identity. I’d been sleeping over most every night and had witnessed the changes in her firsthand. She was quieter, pensive, and would stare off into space for long stretches until she noticed I was watching and then—caught—forced herself to brighten.
“You doing okay?” I’d asked a few nights earlier. “You seem extra quiet.”
She shrugged. “Just feeling sad. Off. But nothing I can’t handle.” Her eyes had filled, and it hurt to watch. My face must have shown it. “Oh, stop. I’m gonna be fine. I just have to get through these last few days with my head up, try not to be fucking embarrassed when I read about myself online.”
“You will accomplish both.”
She softened. “I’m happy you’re here with me, though. This would be so much harder if I didn’t have you.”
I wrapped my arms around her on the couch, nuzzled her hair, letting it tickle my nose, and inhaled the wonderful scent of her lilac soap. “Well, you do, and you’re stuck with me.”
“A sentence I’m really quite good with.”
I was already at her place when she got home from the ten o’clock. I had to tell her about the offer. Putting it off was not an option. I made us a couple of spiced rum and Cokes and waited.
“For me?” she asked when she arrived home. “Bless you and your beautiful face. I could get used to this.” She accepted the glass and held it high in the air in thanks. “And hi.” She placed a kiss on my lips and exhaled. “Another day down. They found that little boy that went missing yesterday. He wanted to go camping, so he took himself.”
“I watched. Ambitious. And terrifying.”
“Crazy news day, though.” She leaned back against the kitchen counter, decompressing the way one does when they’re finally home and allowed to just breathe. “One change after the next, right up until air tonight. I’m exhausted, and my brain is more than scrambled.”
We clinked glasses. “You’ll be living the life of a woman with her evenings free in no time. Wild and fancy-free. Can you believe it? Think of all the late-night gardening you could get in.”
A small smile hit. “That part I’m actually looking forward to. Being home at night. At least in the temporary.”
We hadn’t talked about what she planned to do next with any sort of specificity, but maybe it was time. “Do you think you’ll want something with more of a nine-to-five schedule now? Or maybe just take some time off?”
She paused. “I’ve never really known a life like that. Sounds crazy to me. Daytime hours.” A pause. A thought must have hit. “It might be nice, though. I could cook dinner for us. Scallops and pasta. Watch sunsets together on occasion. Take walks down to the beach.”
“Do you know how nice that sounds?” I asked, melting. Like heaven on earth. Then I remembered my own news, which would derail all those plans, and my smile dimmed. I needed to tell her. I wasn’t sure how. At the thought, I felt my blood pressure rise. My palms itched.
Carrie quirked her head. “What’s that look? What’s on your mind?”
“Okay. I have something to discuss.”
“Okay. We can talk about anything.”
I paused, rolled my lips in. “Remember the other night when we were wondering who they would bring in to replace you?”
“Yes. Why, did you hear something? Oh my God, is it that young blonde from San Fran? Stacey Press? Something like that.” She shook her head in an I-knew-it fashion. “I told you she visited the station a few months before you were hired. I just had this feeling about her. That they had their eye on her already.” She paused. Swallowed. “Not Stacey, huh?”
She knew. Or at least suspected.
“The station offered the anchor spot to me.” Ripped off like a Band-Aid. The words were out of my mouth, and I waited, my heart thudding hard and fast. Time felt like it had adopted a slower speed.
“They did? I wondered if they’d go that route.” Carrie went quiet. Her lips were still parted as if she was about to speak but had been pulled up short while her mind worked it all out. “When was this?”
“Today.” I exhaled and searched her eyes. “What do I do?”
She set her glass down and shook her head, clearly as surprised as I had been. “Well, first of all, Sky, that’s great. Congratulations.” She passed me a smile, and I could tell that she was choosing to focus on my success in this moment. She blinked a few times. “Wow. This is…wow. This is huge for you.” She held up a hand. “I just thought they’d go with—”
“More experience. Me, too. That’s why this feels like it came out of nowhere. It’s like when I filled in, this train left the station and hasn’t stopped since.” I was talking fast, probably to express my shared surprise. We were in this together.
She tapped her lips in thought. “But it didn’t. They brought you in for a reason. The second I saw you walk in that door, I said to myself, Now there’s a potential replacement. Then you were all over the national news. People learned who you were, paid attention, and now they love you.” She nodded. “A natural progression. It honestly makes sense. I imagine they’ve been putting you in front of test audiences behind the scenes, and when I was at the conference, it was the perfect opportunity to audition you.” The smile slid off her face. “Looking back, the writing was on the wall. I knew it, too. Just didn’t want to face it.”
“What? No. None of us did.”
“I’ll tell you what you do,” she said. “You take the job. How can you not? If I can’t have it, you’re my next choice. I’m happy for you.”
I covered my face with both hands. “It all feels all wrong. This isn’t how any of this was supposed to go. In fact, I hate it when I should be thrilled.”
Her arms were around me in an unexpected show of warmth and unselfish support. “Hey, hey. Stop that.” She held me and rocked sideways from one foot to the other. “You need to focus on how ridiculously exciting this is. Did you call your mom?”
“No.” It hadn’t occurred to me. None of this felt real. “I wanted to talk to you before anyone.”
“And now you have.” She pulled back and met my gaze. “You’re gonna knock this out of the park, you hear me?” Carrie was beaming, which was so incredibly big of her. She was cheerleading. For me. In the midst of what had to be a difficult moment, learning who they’d picked to replace her.
“Thank you, but how do you feel about it? You haven’t said.” That was my focus right now. Was she secretly upset, rattled, or sad and just putting on a brave face for my benefit? She had to be.