She blew out a breath. “I guess I just regret that I won’t be there with you every day. I won’t get to see you in action anymore.”
I let the sentiment linger because this really was the end of what had been a short and amazing era, working alongside each other. I wouldn’t see her daily at work. “You’re not going to be at the desk next to me. This is the worst.” It was really hitting me now. I leaned back against the counter and shook my head, my gaze on the ceiling. “I won’t be able to just turn to you and ask a question. See your gorgeous face. Tease you. Undress you with my mind.”
“I’m just a phone call away. And you’ll see me after. Just maybe not for that dinner I imagined making you. Easy come, easy go.” She tried to laugh. This was hard. We both knew it.
“Is it weird? Imagining me in your spot.”
“Yes. I’m still wrapping my mind around it, but that doesn’t change how great it is for you.”
“Still.” I bit my lip, trying to examine it from every angle.
“You’re taking it,” she said definitively. “Decided. So stop it.”
I nodded. “Only if you think it’s the right move.”
She placed a kiss on my lips and reached for her drink. “I know it is, and I’ve never been prouder of you.” She moved a strand of hair from my shoulder to my back. “You’re a rare find in this industry, and they know it. You have the it factor. That’s not something you can teach, and Tam knows it. Hell, I saw it from the first staff meeting. I should have packed my desk then.”
Hearing those words from her in particular made me feel like I could take on the world. “I can do this if I know I have you behind me. If not, well, they should find somebody else.”
“Skyler. Look at me.” In spite of what had to be decidedly weird news, her blue eyes sparkled with pride. “You most definitely do. I’m right here.”
“That helps more than you know.” A pause. “And do I still get to have sex with you?”
She relaxed into a lazy smile. “You better. Did I mention you’re really good at it?”
“No. Never,” I said seriously. “Say it a bunch more times. Write it down. Frame it. Make it art.”
“You’re like my drug in bed, okay?” She leaned in and hovered just shy of my mouth before going in for a slow kiss. “See what I mean? Little drunk now because your lips are so close.” She came back in for more, and I relaxed, hanging out in happiness and relief. We were going to be okay. She was, which meant I could continue undressing her with my eyes at home, at least. I had plans for her body tonight. And then I wanted to hold her close afterward. Kiss her temple and talk quietly in the dark.
“Can we also still eat junk food and stare at walls?” I asked around the kiss. “I could go for that popcorn you drizzle with chocolate.”
Her eyes dipped to my chest. “So many things are fun to drizzle with chocolate.”
My lower half clenched. “Please say that’s an invitation.” The already sexy movie in my mind just graduated. “Let there be chocolate.”
“You know I’m adventurous.”
“And I thank heavens for that daily.”
She laughed, and we eased into our late night, which had very much become our time. Tucked away beneath the stars while the rest of the world slept, tired and spent from a night of passion, laughter, and finally, talking quietly before sleep, my favorite, I began to drift. Tonight had been good and put my fears at ease. Maybe all of this would bring us closer in the end. We seemed to need each other now more than ever.
I pulled Carrie’s arms tighter around me, ever secure in their embrace. She was mine and I was hers, and I could luxuriate in the happiness that brought. I never slept better than in her arms, a place that felt safe, exciting, and wonderful. I wasn’t sure what I did to deserve her, but I definitely wanted to keep doing it. It felt like I’d finally found the place where I belonged.
Chapter Sixteen
Carrie didn’t want a station good-bye party. She also didn’t want a lot of fanfare to see her on her way. In fact, the embarrassment of her ordered departure was something she seemed to be trying to get through quietly, which still tugged at my heart. Her last broadcast for KTMW was like any other except for her final moment. “It’s been a pleasure to bring you the news, San Diego.” She looked directly into the lens and smiled warmly, only a hint of emotion bleeding through. “You take care of yourself, and I hope to see you soon. Good night.”
There were tears in my eyes when she said it, and they weren’t just for my girlfriend. Caroline McNamara, the newswoman, had meant a lot to me as someone coming up in the industry, and this was the end of a much-loved era.
“Want to grab a drink?” I asked as we left the newsroom right after. She’d already cleaned out her desk earlier in the day, making the broadcast her last official act. She turned back to the newsroom, giving it one last look and nodding her farewell. “Nah. If it’s okay with you, let’s just have a quiet evening.”
Her spark had dimmed, and I wasn’t sure how to help her get it back.
Things only got worse. She’d watch me leave for work in the morning with a faraway look in her eye. She’d smile and kiss me good-bye, but her heart wasn’t in it. For the first time since I’d known her, she seemed adrift, lost.
“Plans today?” I asked one morning.
“Lunch with Monica. A friend from college.” She shrugged. “Nothing scheduled after that. Maybe I’ll learn to knit.”
“I’m all in favor. Think of the scarf potential around here.” She didn’t say anything. “Well. Enjoy your lunch,” I said, stealing another kiss. I hesitated, wanting to help but unsure if my words were welcome. After all, I was heading off to her job. “Has there been another time in your life when you’ve had this much freedom to do whatever the hell you wanted?” Maybe a look at the bright side would help. Maybe she’d murder me in her mind.
She wrapped her arms around herself. “No. But I’m not sure I’m cut out for a life of leisure.”
“Temporary,” I reminded her.
“Yeah. I know.” She didn’t sound at all convinced. I was worried she was depressed.
The next two weeks were full of prep work for me to take over the nightly news. Rather than just popping me into the job, the station wanted to make a big deal out of my debut, ramp up the fanfare, and get people excited. They’d launched an entire PR campaign announcing my start date.
“Do we know how Rory is feeling about all this?” I asked Kristin before the photoshoot, the first time I’d be working alongside him officially. He was a veteran and Carrie’s partner. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about me, given her firing. They were a duo, after all.