“Oh, Skyler,” she said, her eyes still on the road. “I think I fell in love with you long before I even knew it.” She glanced over at me, her eyes crinkling at the sides slightly, a slice of moonlight illuminating her face. “Sometimes I can be a little slow.”
“You love me?” I heard myself ask. My heart was reaching with everything it had.
“I’m very much in love with you, yes.”
“We love each other,” I said, quietly celebrating. “Us.”
“I’m glad you said it.”
“I had to.” There was going to be no waking up in the morning and living normal life until I did. “You’re my reason for most everything these days.”
“Then we’re in the same boat.” She picked up my hand and kissed the back of it. “My place tonight? You and Micky?” she asked with the sweetest smile. “Say yes.”
My spirits flew somewhere into the stratosphere, and my heart squeezed wonderfully. There was a lot to celebrate. “Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
* * *
I’d been on the air as anchor of KTMW for two short weeks. I was still nervous, excited, and felt like I was living in a dream. Kristin assured me that the feeling would pass and I would make this job my own, and I did look forward to a time when I was at home in the anchor seat. For now, it still felt like a mountain I needed to climb. I’d already had screwups, times when my mouth didn’t work right or when a transition I’d attempted came out clunky. The billboards along the highway were also surreal with their plays on my name. Blue Skies Ahead followed by a shot with me with my arms folded. The Sky Is the Limit with a shot of me looking up. Little me. Up there.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but wonder if my mother had pulled up any of my broadcasts. I was curious what she thought of the job I was doing but was almost hesitant to ask, fearful that the answer would be that she’d—quote—heard great things and would pull one up soon. That would be the standard.
But my heart soared when she called just a few days later, exuberant. “Querida, I just watched yesterday’s five o’clock broadcast online, and you’ve taken my breath away. What poise! What command of that desk. My heart is full of pride.”
I grinned like a kid who’d just won the spelling bee, sliding my hair behind my ear. “Really? You don’t know how happy I am to hear that. I was wondering what you thought.” Literally, every day. I hated to admit that even to myself.
“What I thought? I thought you were stunning. The only thing is to remember to smile at the fun parts. Puts us all at ease.”
My smile faltered a tad, absorbing the likely valid tip. “Yes, of course. I will do that. Thank you.”
“I’m also calling because I’ll be in town tomorrow and want to see my baby girl. Are you free?”
I hadn’t seen my mother since moving full-time to San Diego and was more than a little excited. “Of course I’m free. I can’t wait.”
“Fantastic. I’ll make us a reservation. You just show up.”
The next day, I got up extra early to make sure the apartment was clean and touched up, trying to envision the space through her eyes. Catch any flaws. I’d taken Micky to the groomer’s the afternoon before and had him smelling fantastic and sporting a smart bandana that he could wear for the visit. My mother had high standards for me, and I wanted to impress.
Wearing a smart turquoise skirt, white blouse, and heels, Carla Ruiz stood next to her chair at the fancy steak house she’d picked out for us. I grinned as I approached, and she extended her arms. “My baby is here.” Her brown eyes, not unlike mine, sparkled.
“Hi, Mama,” I said, hugging her and accepting the kiss she placed on my cheek. I was also in my work clothes and thought we must look like a couple of colleagues out for a business lunch. That part made me grin, feel important. I was proud of my mother and the success she’d found. She’d worked so hard.
I settled in across from her, and she grinned. “Well, don’t you look smart and put together.” Like me, she sounded like a native Californian, after so many years Stateside. Maybe it was silly, but I sometimes missed her accented English. It reminded me of my childhood, snuggling on the couch and talking about the life we’d have someday. And here we were.
I glanced down at the plum jacket I wore, perfectly tailored to my shape. I had to admit, I felt like a million bucks when I wore it. “The station has given me a sizable budget for some nicer clothes. Well beyond anything I’d pay for on my own. I’ve been trying to stay within the lines they’ve given me. Certain colors. Certain cuts. Things to avoid for camera.”
“Of course they gave you a budget and advice. They know what they have in you and are the lucky ones.” She nodded her thanks to the server who placed a glass of sparkling water with precisely two squeezes of lime and not too much ice in front of her. “How are you feeling? Do you have your footing? Is there anything that you need? Tell me.” She studied me seriously.
I took in the series of questions, knowing she was ready to hand over her debit card if I needed it. “I’m getting better at the job each day, but there’s a lot of scrutiny. More than I accounted for, coming into this large of a market. Everyone from the viewer at home to the news director has an opinion, and they want me to hear it. It’s been…overwhelming.”
“Well, when you feel overwhelmed, you just think of the end goal. You put your focus there and you hang on.” She pointed at me with her butter knife. “That’s what I did, working my way through law school, when my professors wouldn’t give me the time of day. And it’s what you’ll do.”
My mother cared about me a lot, but high achieving had always been the highest ranking attribute on her checklist for me. She wanted me to find success because it was a reflection on her and how she’d raised me. Yes, the pressure had served me well, but at the same time, once in a while, I just wished she’d hug me and tell me everything was going to be all right. I smiled at her. “It’s good advice. How’s LA?”
She shook her head. “Full of pretty people with attitude problems, but I’m making my way. I have a big case going to trial next week, and we’re going after everything the guy has.”
“Well, I wouldn’t want to be on the other side of that divorce.”
She laughed. “Nor would I.”
We ordered our lunch, my mother raising an eyebrow when I chose the pasta with the white wine sauce. “Not just a salad?” The implication was clear. She was so different from tía Yolanda. I had trouble imagining them growing up together under the same roof. Neither was unkind, but they had wildly different outlooks on life.
“Oh, I have a long day ahead of me,” I said, embarrassed now. I had been looking at this lunch as a little splurge, finally seeing my mom in person. “I just felt like I needed sustenance.”