“So you were fired?”
“No. Estella owned the salon. She rented out the stations. So I’m mostly self-employed, I just have to pay rent to use her space.”
“And now that you’re not working?”
“I have money,” she said, too quickly, too harshly. I jerked at the tone, the fierceness of it.
“I wasn’t implying you didn’t.”
“Shit.” Her eyes squeezed close and she blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. It’s that money is a big source of contention in my family.” She paused, pushed her lips to one side. “Garrett paid for my apartment.”
She shot me a wary expression I didn’t understand.
“If that’s supposed to mean something to me, you’re going to have to be more clear.”
Fingers tapped on the table, another drink… a flip of her hair over her shoulder. “My mom hated that he took care of me. Said he should have let me figure things out for myself, but he offered. And then insisted. I was just getting done with school and only nineteen. I didn’t want to be working full-time and living with my mom but I didn’t have the clientele to move out yet, so Garrett went and rented me an apartment.”
“I still don’t get why that’s a bad thing.”
Our server appeared, sliding salads in front of us and brought us both a second drink. All the while, Gabby looked like she was ready to bolt, to not endure another moment of this conversation even if I still didn’t get what had her so upset about it.
Once the server left us, Gabby speared her salad with her fork and then sighed, setting it down.
Whatever was bothering her, had been eating at her for a while.
She leaned back in her chair, cupping her wineglass like a safety net. “My mom got pissed I agreed to let him lease my apartment for me, even though I’d told him not to and even though he did it without me knowing. It wasn’t even a lavish place or anything, like, had I been a bit more settled, I could have easily afforded it on my own—and I could now, except Garrett always insisted he wanted me comfortable. But my mom never let me live it down that I was taking advantage of him. So, I don’t know… I want something of my own. My own salon. I’m tired of leeching off Garrett and I’m tired of blowing away the rent money.” She took a large swallow, cringing as she swallowed. “To your earlier question, I would never choose to do something different, I love what I do. What I want though, is something of mine. Something I own through my own hard sweat and hard work. I want a small, full-service salon with just one or two other stylists and then a staff for massages and facials and nails, but I want it to keep a small-town feel. Like the old-time barbershops you see in movies where someone walks in and everyone knows them.”
Her eyes lit up as she explained her dream, and hot damn, she was as passionate about her career as I was mine. So damn sexy, the way her eyes glistened and she got choked up. I wanted to reach across the table and kiss her and promise her I’d give her all of that just to see her living her dream every day.
“So, what’s stopping you?”
23
Gabby
What was stopping me?
Me.
For as much as I could sit across from Joey and tell him all the things I wanted, I was a dreamer. Not a doer. I loved the idea of all of those things but I’d never once sat down to figure out the logistics and make a plan.
Most likely I had some serious mommy issues. Refusing to follow and chase my goal and dreams because in doing so, I’d have to do exactly what she’d always told me to do.
Make a plan. Stick to it. See something, for God’s sake, through to fruition. And every time I started researching, disappointment set in.
I didn’t have the equity to purchase something. I didn’t have the age or experience or down payment for a small business loan.
I had nothing but dreams and wishes and wants.
“I don’t want to stay in Seattle. I’m tired of the constant clouds and dreary weather. Don’t get me wrong. I love the Puget Sound and being close to the mountains. Every year I act like a tourist and get in some whale watching, but I want something slower. Something brighter. I want warmth and sun and I want to have my own community. I haven’t found that there…”
A look flashed in his eyes I didn’t recognize, and he asked, “Do you know where you want to be then? At all?”
Las Vegas. With you. The realization slammed into me so hard I almost jolted from the truth. But that couldn’t be, could it? I couldn’t know that so desperately in my soul so quickly. It had to be another rash thought, high on the insane sex and his broad shoulders with all that dark hair sitting across from me, so tempting.
Yeah… I’d want to stay with Joey. What woman wouldn’t?
But wouldn’t that mean I was just jumping from having one man take care of me to another?
So I opened my mouth, and I lied.
“I don’t know yet.”
“I see.” He stabbed at his salad like it’d personally offended him, but I knew the truth. It wasn’t the food. It was me, and I longed to rip the words back, tell him everything I was thinking.
I might have always been a look before you jump kind of person, but this time, I was certain I jumped right into someone who would always catch me.
But wasn’t it time I started trying to catch myself first?
I couldn’t bear to stand the way his expression had tightened, shoulders tensed. Much less face what I was only now learning about myself.
I wiped my mouth with my napkin and resettled it in my lap. “What about you? If you weren’t playing hockey, what would you do?”
His eyes narrowed for a moment, before marginally relaxing.
Thankfully, he gave me the out and moved on. Apparently he wasn’t interested in dissecting my statements either. Thank goodness. I was far from ready.
“I just finished my master’s degree last year in Kinesiology and Exercise Science.”
“What?”
“Yeah. I’ve been taking online classes for a while now, doing lab work in the off-season. So last winter, I finally got my degree. A back-up, you know, in case I get injured.”
“What would you do with it?”
“Sports trainer for a team, professional, I’d hope. But I also think college-aged athletes would be a blast to work with.”
“That’s… that must have been a lot of work.”
He shrugged like it was no biggie, but I was impressed. I’d always struggled in school, never wanted to go to college only to struggle for four more years. I’d been nervous enough knowing I’d have to take a certification exam after finishing cosmetology school. But to have the demanding job he had and still manage to get his master’s?
Impressive. Like so much else about him.
After dinner, we walked around Milwaukee, ducked into a piano bar where there were dueling pianos driving the crowd crazy with excitement and taking requests.
We laughed and danced, had another drink, but still weren’t nearly drunk and by the time we got back to the hotel, both of us were exhausted.
Which meant when Joey woke me up again, it felt like it was only twenty minutes later, and I was a grumpy, grouchy wife.