"Kaden and Stella," I realized.
Celeste nodded. "Indeed. They offered to let us live on their lands, but I was hesitant to put their people in danger. Besides, with their outcast status among the Zodiac Wolves, they wouldn't be able to provide the kind of aid we would need against the might of the Sun Witches anyway. So I went to the Cancer pack next.”
"Why them?" I found myself leaning forward, eager to hear more, especially now that we'd come to the part with my former pack.
"Other than the Leos, they were the most powerful pack at the time. They also have a strong connection to the moon, so I thought they would be more sympathetic.”
I couldn't help but snort. "And then you met my father and realized he was anything but."
She chuckled softly at that. "Actually, he agreed to meet with me, though only in private. To the Sun Witches and the Zodiac Wolves, we were still considered enemies, and I understood his need for safety. We met alone at a cabin he owned in Oregon."
My mind flashed back to the cabin where we'd held the solar eclipse meeting. "The same place you found me."
"Yes. We spent several days there, and he seemed very sympathetic to our cause." She looked far away as if she was reliving her past before her eyes. “And he was just so...charming. And handsome, of course."
I tried not to gag, though it must have been true, considering how many women he'd managed to knock up. I could admit he must have some kind of charisma to maintain control of one of the largest packs for so many years, but he'd definitely never showed me that side of him.
“I hadn't had feelings for a man in decades, and I knew I was a fool to fall for him. Even so, when our time came to an end and Harrison said he couldn't help us, I was shocked.”
No surprise there, I thought. Dad wouldn't do anything that would have risked his own neck.
“I thought we had something together, but he told me that our time together meant nothing and that he was mated to someone else.” She glanced down, and I saw genuine hurt in her eyes.
No matter how much I resented her for abandoning me, I couldn't help but sympathize. Before I'd known that Jordan was my half-brother, I'd felt his scorn and rage at having me as a mate. His rejection had been humiliating and painful, and we'd hated each other from the start. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to think someone truly cared for you and then tell you it meant nothing.
Celeste drew in a deep breath. “I was hurt, but I thought at least he would be willing to help my people."
"Let me guess. He said no." That sounded more like the father I knew.
She let out a long sigh. "Correct. He wasn't willing to stand against the Sun Witches. They're simply too powerful. But I didn't want to give up. I left the Cancer pack and traveled across all of North America to make inquiries with some of the other packs. I thought that some of the water sign packs would be sympathetic, but they were all too scared.” She paused. “Eventually I realized I was pregnant."
I swallowed hard, my food forgotten, desperately hanging onto every word she said. This was it—I would finally learn the reason she'd abandoned me.
"I went back to Harrison and told him, but he didn't want his mate to know what had happened between us. He gave me some money and told me to go to the cabin in Oregon, where I might be safe. I stayed in hiding and stopped using magic so the Sun Witches wouldn't find me, and then after nine months I had you.” Celeste paused and smiled at me again.
I looked away, my heart clenching. I'd always known I was born from an affair between Harrison and another woman, but to hear how little he'd done for Celeste only brought all the pain back.
“I wanted to take you to Lunatera, Ayla. You would have been safe here, but then you would have never aged. You would have been an infant forever, and that wasn't fair to you. So I stayed on Earth, and I was prepared to raise you there.”
"So what happened?" I kept my voice steady, but I wanted to scream at her, as some of the anger from last night returned in full force. "Why did you leave me?"
Celeste drew in a shuddering breath. "When you were four months old, the Sun Witches found us. There were so many of them and only one of me. It didn't matter that I was High Priestess and the most powerful of the Moon Witches, I was outnumbered and overpowered. I barely escaped, and you were injured in the struggle. I returned to Harrison as a last, desperate resort and begged him to take you and raise you as his own. He was upset, and his mate was even angrier. I thought she'd rip my throat out, but I kept begging until they agreed.”
"You gave me up," I said, my voice bitter.
"I had to, Ayla. It was the only way to keep you alive. I almost lost you during the attack, and I couldn't let that happen again." A single tear rolled down her cheek. “Harrison agreed to say you were half-human. I made your hair red and locked away your Moon Witch magic. You would blend in with the other shifters, and no one would be any the wiser. It was the only way to stop the Sun Witches from finding you."
I shook my head, almost wishing I'd never heard this story. "There must have been another way."
"I wish there was." She raised her chin and met my eyes. There was deep pain in them, but it was overshadowed by an iron will. The face of someone who had lost everything and overcome it somehow. “I returned to Lunatera, heartbroken. I cried for months, and I almost returned a hundred times, until I reminded myself that I would be putting you in danger. If the Sun Witches caught even the faintest whiff of Moon Witch magic around you, it would draw unwanted attention. I wish more than anything that I could have been there with you growing up, but I knew we would be reunited someday. It was the only way to keep you safe and let you grow into a young woman. And I swore when you turned twenty-two and had your wolf unlocked, I would find you again.”
"But you never came." I practically spat the words.
"I did," she said softly. "My Moon Witches and I went to the Convergence, but we were too late and you were gone. We couldn't find you, not until the other night when I sensed your magic starting to break free. I rushed to you as quickly as I could, and now you're here."
I pushed my plate away with trembling hands. My stomach turned, and I knew if I took another bite, I'd throw it all up. “Do you have any idea what it was like for me growing up? I was the outcast of the pack, the lowest of the low, treated like trash for being half-human. Dad was never a real father to me, and he hardly treated me like a shifter either. And Jackie? She was even worse. All my life I was abused, bullied, and beaten, and not just by other shifters, but by my own parents. I never knew love from anyone except my brother. If you really cared for me, how could you abandon me to that?"
“Ayla, you don't understand,” Celeste said. “It was the only option—”
“You should have found another way!” I stood up quickly and the chair hit the wall behind me in punctuation. Celeste rose to her feet, but I couldn't hear another word from her mouth excusing what she'd done. I stalked away from the table, and she didn't follow me. The thought of staying in this house made me want to scream. I turned toward the front door and flung it open, then rushed outside toward the beach.