It all felt so damn unfair, but that's how my life had always been—and somehow I'd carried on. When others might have given up, I'd kept fighting and grown stronger, and I would do it again, and again, and again, for as long as I had to. I would survive. And I would win. I didn't know any other way to live.
I let out a hollow breath and wiped my tears, feeling empty inside but better too for embracing my pain. Running away never solved anything. I knew that better than anyone.
I got up and walked back to the house to face my mother again.
CHAPTER FOUR
When I entered the house, Celeste was pacing in the living room, looking distraught. She paused when she saw me and smoothed down her white hair. "You're back," she said with a big exhale. "Ayla, I'm so sorry for everything, you're right to be upset—"
I held up a hand. "I understand why you did what you did. I don't like it, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to get over it or forgive you...but I understand."
"You do?" she asked in a soft voice. "How?"
"I met Larkin."
"Ah." She nodded slowly, her face grim. "I won't ask for your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. I only hope you know that everything I did was to protect you, and when I left you with Harrison I thought my heart would never heal from the pain. I knew it was necessary to keep you alive, but it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Missing your entire childhood...the thought still tears me apart." A single tear fell down her cheek. "Especially now that I know how bad it was for you. I truly thought Harrison would raise you with love. I'm so sorry, Ayla.”
I saw the pain in her eyes and knew she meant the apology. I realized I had a choice then—I could continue to be angry and upset about the past and the choices she'd made, or I could accept it and try to move on. She was here now, trying to help me, giving me the chance to have a relationship with her, even if it wasn't a normal mother-daughter one. No, my mother wasn't what I'd expected, but she was the only mother I had.
I stepped forward and Celeste's arms tentatively wrapped around me. The hug was stiff and awkward at first, but then I drew in a breath and tried to relax. She squeezed me tight with a relieved sigh, the tension leaving her body, and I found my arms going around her too. As she held me, something changed and shifted inside me, like the petals of a flower slowly unfurling. This is what a mother's love feels like, I realized. I'd never felt it before, at least, not in my memory.
Celeste pulled back and wiped at her eyes with a smile. "Can I get you something to eat? I want to make sure you have energy for your training later."
"No thanks, I'm still full from breakfast." My heart raced at the thought of beginning my training. "How soon do we start?"
"Tonight, when the sky is darkest and the moon is just overhead. Feel free to rest until then."
I thought about going up to my room, but this seemed like an opportunity to get more answers. "Actually, I'd like to just...talk. Maybe over some tea?"
"Oh," she said, clearly surprised, but then her face split into a bright smile. "I'd love that. We have so many years to catch up on."
I followed her into the kitchen and asked, "What will we do for training?"
"I'm going to unlock your magic, and then we'll teach you some basic spells to test your strength,” Celeste said as she moved to the stove and used a dash of magic to light it. “How much magic have you been able to use so far?"
I stared at the flame with envy. "Not much. I can teleport through moonlight—that's the only thing that's come easily to me since the Convergence."
Celeste nodded, as if unsurprised. "I can do that as well—it's a special gift from Selene that runs in our family. But we both know you're capable of so much more."
I blew out a breath and leaned against the counter. “I'm not so sure. I've blasted the Sun Witches a couple of times, but it was always by accident. I tried to make wards with Kaden, but nothing happened. My magic only seems to work when I'm in danger."
“That will change once I release it. I'm surprised you were able to do as much as you did." She tilted her head as she considered. “I suppose that when the Sun Witches cast the spell that unlocked your wolf, it freed your magic a little too.”
"So it's true then? The Sun Witches put a spell on my wolf that locked it away?"
"Yes, when you were only a few months old. Harrison had to take you to the Convergence to be blessed by the Sun Witches, just like all the other wolf babies." She put the kettle on the stove, then went to get some tea bags from her pantry. "That's why I had to make sure your hair was changed and your magic was tightly locked away before you went. I couldn't risk them recognizing you as my daughter."
I nodded slowly. "They always told us the blessing was to save the Zodiac Wolves from the Moon Curse, to stop us from going feral during full moons."
“I'm not surprised they told you that,” Celeste said. “They'll do whatever they can to paint Moon Witches as the villains in order to make themselves the saviors. But the Moon Curse was removed by us centuries ago. It was wrong, and we regretted ever creating such a horrible spell."
"Why would the Sun Witches lock away our wolves until we're twenty-two?"
"They do it to keep the packs weak, and to keep them reliant on the Sun Witches." She shook her head with a scowl. "If the Zodiac Wolves believe they need the Sun Witches to protect them from this curse, they won't rebel. They'll gladly return every six months to the Convergence to allow the Sun Witches to cast spells on their children."
"That's why the Ophiuchus children can turn into wolves, isn't it?" I asked. "The Sun Witches never cast the spell on their babies."
"Exactly. That's the way it should be for all of you wolves. A natural shift with no spells needed for any of it. The same is true of finding a mate."
“Yes, I know all too well how the Sun Witches can control the mate bonds," I muttered. "I wonder how many other mate bonds are fake too."
Celeste gave me a sad look as she poured the tea. "Oh, Ayla... All of them are fake."
"All of them?" I asked as shock ran through me. Celeste dropped a tea bag in a mug and offered it to me, but I was too stunned to do anything but stare at it.
She set it down in front of me instead. "The Sun Witches use the same blessing spell on babies to lock away your mates too so that you won't feel the natural mate bond, and then they pair up shifters to further their own ends. They move wolves between packs like pawns on a chessboard.”
“What?” Every single one is fake? "But what about mates who truly felt like they'd met their true love? How could they all be fake?"
“It's possible a few here and there would have paired up naturally,” Celeste admitted. "But the Sun Witches are very good at manipulating emotions too. The spell they use makes it very hard to resist the mate bond."
I shivered and rubbed my arms. "Yes, I know. They mated me to someone I hated in the Leo pack. Later I learned he was actually my half-brother."