“Yes,” I answer as I take a seat opposite his desk. “He’s weaseling his way into this family using the Abadis.” I’m almost certain he knows exactly where his ex-wife is. There’s no denying my father and his new wife live a public life, which means that Isaac would have seen them either in the press, or on television. Perhaps even at events. But Marcia has never mentioned him before, and my father definitely doesn’t seem perturbed by this turn of events.
“We have a lot to discuss,” Dad says, his fingers a steeple under his chin, his elbows now leaning on his desk as he moves closer to the large wooden furnishing. “Firstly, your trip to Tynewood was successful,” he tells me, something I already know. “I’m proud of you.” The four words I have never heard from my father hit me right in the chest.
I’m speechless for a moment as I swallow the praise like a starving child. “Thank you,” is all I manage a short time later. “But there’s more—”
“Your boy toy has returned as well,” Bradford remarks, the snide comment rankles me, but I don’t bite. He’s fishing for information about Jarred, but I refuse to play this game with him. My father is intelligent. He’s been in the business game for a long while, and he knows how to get people to talk. There’s no doubt he sent us to Tynewood, insisted Jarred accompany me so I could find out about his past. But what Dad didn’t plan on is the fact that my feelings for Jarred are far stronger than his games.
“Nesrin needs to know,” I say, instead of responding to my father’s taunt.
He sighs as he tips his head to the side. “Yes,” he says, “I agree. And you have a choice to make. I have to let the Elders know what you want to do. Ideally, you’ll continue the legacy and take a seat at the table.”
It’s now or never. I have to negotiate with my father. I’m not new to this, not by a long shot. But when I come up against an expert who knows everything about me like Bradford does, it makes this trickier. “If I do,” I start slowly, knowing that I’m going to have to get him on my side. And since I managed to secure the Lancasters as our new client, I don’t see why he will refuse me. Unless his promise was a lie. “I need a couple of things in return,” I tell him while I keep my eyes on his.
It’s never been easy talking to him. Being his son came with limitations, with rules so strict, it was as if we were being raised by an army sergeant.
“And what is it that you’d like, son?” Bradford questions as he narrows his eyes on me. There are wheels turning in his head. He knows what I’m about to ask for. It’s clear that my feelings for Jarred have been exposed. Perhaps I was too relaxed about the time I spent with him.
I may be wary of my father knowing. But I’m not at all ashamed. I’ve always been proud of who I am. Even though I didn’t admit it to my family, what held me back was fear of rejection. No kid wants their parents to tell them they’re disowned because of who they love.
I’ve heard the horror stories about that happening. I’ve seen those tales being recounted, and it set me on a path of hiding my feelings for so long, I don’t know how to release them from the cage they’re locked in.
After last night with Zaria, seeing just how well she accepted Jarred and me, I realized that I can do this on my own if my father decides to send me away. I’m an adult, and my choices are now my own. But the legacy of the Thorne name comes with shackles.
If he wants to release me from those, I will walk away.
The realization hit me last night as I watched Jarred and Zaria sleep beside me—I’m no longer just a Thorne; I’m someone who is loved unconditionally. Granted, my brothers do love me, but they don’t know my secret. Deep down, I don’t doubt their affection for me, it’s what comes after. The retaliation of our father.
“I want to move out,” I tell him finally. “I want Jarred and Zaria with me.” The words fall from my lips easily. “I’m in love with Jarred, I have been for a long time, and Zaria is mine. I’m not letting her go.”
“So you want to live a life of treachery, hiding this boy—”
“I won’t be hiding anything. We will live as three. People do it and I intend to as well. There’s nothing wrong with who I want in my life, or who I love. But if you cannot accept this, I will walk away from the Thorne legacy forever.” I don’t know where my confidence comes from, but I can’t live in the shadows anymore.
Listening to Zaria’s story last night, knowing what she went through, has given me a new outlook on life. The strength of both Jarred and Zaria has made me want to fight for us. They’ve gone through so much in their lives and come out on the other side. I want to have that as well.
“You’ve always been a party animal. You don’t think about the consequences of your actions until it’s too late,” Dad says on a breath. “And that’s why I’ve always been hard on you. But,” he says, holding up a finger when I open my mouth to say something. “I see how much you’ve grown. You mother didn’t believe you could sit at the table,” he whispers.
“What?” This has my attention. My brows shoot up in surprise that he’s talking about her. He’s never mentioned our mother before. Not even when we asked about her. When we were kids, he would wave us off as if she meant nothing to him.
“Your mother and I never saw eye to eye when it came to you boys,” he tells me. The emotion thick in his voice. I’ve always seen my father as a cold, hard businessman. But right now, all I see is a father, who wanted to do what was best for his sons. “I wanted her to understand that the company was for you boys. I started it with nothing, and I built it into an empire. Each of you would have a piece of it once I was gone.”
“But why did she leave? Why not just sit down and talk it out with you?” I ask, hoping he doesn’t shut down. All I ever remember were their fights. The night my mother left, I remember sitting on the stairs that lead out to the entrance hall. Her bags were packed. She didn’t have anything more than two suitcases and the clothes on her back. My father offered her money, and she told him she’d rather die on the streets.
Deep down, I knew she was lying because my mother had connections. I recall her friends who lived in houses just as big as ours. She had people she could go to; I was sure of it.
“That night, I told her I chose you for the Silver Sovereign,” Dad says, his words dragging me back to the present day. “She didn’t want you to be the one because she knew that the society was filled with men who did immoral things to get ahead. They were people she didn’t want her sons associating with. But I had to decide who would be my successor.”
His words finally sink in as he speaks them slowly. “I grew up thinking you hated me,” I tell him honestly. “I was convinced that you thought of me as a mistake. I could never make you see me. All these years, you never once told me you loved me, you never said you were proud of me.” My throat clogs with the pain and agony of the truth finally hitting me right in my soul. It bypasses my heart, and it slams into me like a wrecking ball.
“That’s not at all the reason I did that.” Dad shakes his head slowly. The guilt of what I just confessed dances in his eyes. “I needed you to be hard-hearted, to be commanding and dominating. The society will eat you alive if they think you’re weak.”