I don’t ask about him having a green thumb. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but the remark would devalue his claim, and I can’t bring myself to ruin it. “I like that,” I say instead. “And I like you.” I find myself admitting so, though it goes against every rational drop I have. I see these bikers in here with women, and I know they rarely claim them. Something tells me this man would bring the chaos to me, and honestly, I don’t know if I could handle it.
He reaches out, gently brushing my temple. “I see you’re thinking way too hard about it right now.”
I offer a smile. “Hmm, think you can read me already?”
He smirks. “Been watching you, babe. I may not know enough about you yet, but I plan on rectifying that travesty.”
A laugh breaks free. I’m not mocking him, but he’s just so sure of himself the way he says it. If anything, I find myself a little too excited over the prospect of him wanting to get to know me and of him desiring me.
“Okay, Cowboy. I’ll bite.”
“You finally letting me take you out?”
“Finally?”
“Mmm, been trying every time I see you.”
His admission makes my smile widen to the point it hurts my face. Any man with that sort of power must be dangerous. My mind has warning signs flashing all over the place, but my heart beats double-time. With a deep breath, I ignore my trepidation and dive headfirst. “Yep, where you taking me?”
“Everywhere, sugar, but first, to the back of my bike.” He reaches for my hand, and I allow it. He does it in front of everyone, not trying to hide me like some random hook-up. The brothers watch, brows raised, not used to me giving in to anyone’s charms or demands. I’ve had many—it kind of goes with the territory when working in the RB clubhouse.
He’s the first. The only one I’ve let finger-fuck me against the building, the only one I’ve noticed since coming here. Now, he’ll be the first to take me out as well, but not the first to put me on the back of a bike. I thought I learned my lesson, but apparently not. This one, though, he’s not the same as all the rest. I can feel it, kind of how I can sense his presence in a room without seeing him. It’s been like that from the very beginning—his pull over me. I’m going to drown when it comes to him, but I can’t seem to make myself stay away. I should’ve learned my lesson with the last, the mark still fresh on my face. Yet here I am.
He straddles the bike, not letting me go until I climb behind him. He’s got just enough room left on his seat for me to fit comfortably. I wrap my hands around his waist and suck in a sharp breath. He’s got abs under the shirt he’s wearing, and I’d never have known had I not felt him so intimately. I want to rub all over his middle like a sex-starved woman but make myself hold still. The feat’s not easy with a guy this charming and good-looking. Not only that, but he also seems like a genuinely good guy, and I need more of those in my life.
The motorcycle gradually pulls out of the parking lot, and I hum to myself with delight. It’s been too long since I rode, and I’ve missed it. I’d considered getting my own bike, but it’d never work with how far my daughter is. Plus, I don’t think I’d feel safe riding with her back there until she’s older. She’s the most important thing in the world to me and the main reason why I’ve been working at the RBMC. I’ve been saving money to buy a car, so I can go and pick up my kid.
She’s been staying with my parents since I left, and I miss her. Had I known what my ex was going to pull, I’d have never gotten on the back of his bike. We were going for a short ride, then he took me out of town. I told him I needed to go back, but he made me believe we wouldn’t go much further, then he gave me a guilt trip, and I kept riding with him. We got all the way to the RBMC clubhouse, where there was a party that night. He heard about it from some other guys that ride. I wanted to go home, and we got into a huge fight. He put his hands on me, and that was the end for me.
I got a disgusting hotel, but when the little bit of money I had ran out, I found myself back on the RBMC’s doorstep asking if they could help. They weren’t thrilled, but one of the brothers let me stay with his sister nearby, and they offered me the bartending gig. I tried to get my parents to send me money to get back home, but they’re broke. They live off Social Security, and it’s barely enough for them to survive on. I’m lucky they’ve kept my kid, but I still worry about her. I was reckless before, but I’ll never make that mistake again. I simply have to save my money, then I can fix everything. This time around, I’m buying a car, getting a safe place to stay, and then picking my girl up. We’ll move away from our old life, and everything will be different—good, for once in our lives, but I just have to make it happen.
A new man is the last thing I need in my life, but I’m lonely. I don’t talk to any of the guys at the club, and I keep my distance along with my guard up. Chaos has hit me differently. He’s the type of person I’d want to be friends with, and that says a lot about anyone in my book.
He takes me to a restaurant that overlooks a lake. We eat outside, and for the first time in a long time, I laugh. I feel lighter, and somehow, I just know he’s the one. The man I’ve been waiting for my entire life, and he has no idea I have a daughter.
Would he still want me if he knew about her? She’s everything to me. I’ve made some shitty decisions in my past, but I’m doing everything I can to stop that from happening again. If he isn’t okay with her, then it’s a deal-breaker, and the possibility of that happening has me putting my defenses up. I can’t fall for a man who could possibly break me. I’ve learned that broken dolls don’t survive in this world. I’ve seen it firsthand and refuse to become one.
Chapter 9
Chaos
Church
“Brothers,” Viking begins, calling our attention to the head of the table. “The drop the other night was sloppy as fuck, but...” he pauses, and we wait for his next words, “... we pulled that shit off, thanks to Chaos doing what he does best. Crazy fucker.” He smirks.
I shrug. I had to do it, or one of them would have gotten hurt. I’ve seen too many of them get injured, shot, bitten, or killed. I wasn’t ready to have that happen again. I crave peace, but I just can’t seem to ever find and hold on to it. “Speaking of RBMC’s shit...” I say, needing to share this bit with at least my brothers. “I’ve been stopping by there to see a bartender they’ve got working there. I took her out and warned off her ex. I’ll be seeing her more.”
Saint snorts. “So sure of yourself, big guy? She could be fucking half of RBMC for all you know.”
Torch shoots him a stern glance before shaking his head at me. “Spider gave us the low-down on everyone in that clubhouse. She’s straight.”
I sit forward, suddenly far more interested in what Torch may know. “You got info on my Hollywood?”
Blaze whistles low, murmuring, “Shit, he’s already nicknamed her. Brother’s fuckin’ done for.” Half the guys around the table chuckle while the others grin.
“It’s not that serious, Blaze. Untwist your panties, brother,” I retort, and he snickers.