I put my head down right where he’s indicating, and sleep takes me before I can argue any further.
I wake up in the middle of the night, as is my habit, snapping into wakefulness and checking my surroundings.
This time it only takes me a half second to know that I’m safe. Neil is sleeping peacefully beside me. Each slow breath reminds me that all is well.
I sneak out of bed and tiptoe to the bathroom, where I use the facilities and take a cool drink of water.
Neil has tidied up the counter, dropping my toothbrush into the holder beside his. I don’t know why this small gesture tugs at me, but it does.
It took me a really long time to picture myself as a part of Neil’s life. But I can see it now. I can be here with him, and it won’t be a game we’re playing, and it won’t be an illusion.
The chilly air chases me back to bed. I tuck my naked self back under the covers. I’m sober now and wide awake.
I roll over and gaze at Neil. He looks young and untroubled when he’s sleeping. Long eyelashes point down at his aristocratic cheekbones. Full lips relax into sleep.
He’s so beautiful. Maybe it’s okay to feel a little stunned that someone with a face that handsome could turn to me and say, “I love you.” I hope the surprise never entirely wears off. I wouldn’t want to take him for granted. There’s nobody else like Neil.
I ease forward and kiss the tattoo on his biceps. It’s right there. Who could resist? Then I kiss his neck. And his throat. The stubble brushes against my lips. I kiss the inch of soft skin right in front of his ear.
“Baby,” he whispers.
“Neil,” I answer, kissing him again.
“Is it morning?”
“No,” I admit. “But I can’t fall back asleep. I’m too happy.”
A muscular arm reaches out and pulls my body close to his. “And you’re still naked.”
“Yeah, I noticed that too.”
He smiles without opening his eyes. “Am I getting lucky?”
“Not as lucky as I am.”
His beautiful eyes open and he pulls me in for a kiss. An ambitious kiss, especially for a guy who was asleep a minute ago.
But athletes have great reflexes, and Neil is already rolling on top of me, kissing my neck, his thumb circling my nipple with bossy accuracy.
I thread my fingers through his soft hair and down his neck until he shivers. “Fuck, I missed this,” he whispers, tonguing my earlobe. “You’re so sexy it breaks my brain.”
My reply is incoherent, because his skillful hands are wandering everywhere. My body softens like butter in the sunshine. The way I feel when I’m underneath him is magic. Like I was born for pleasure.
We kiss, and then we kiss some more, until I’m desperate. “Please,” I beg.
He’s still wearing those damn boxers. I slide a hand under the waistband and stroke his cock until he moans.
“Patience.”
“No,” I argue.
He laughs. “Insulin pump is on my side.” He removes my hand from his shorts and brushes my fingers across the plastic edge of the medical device, so I’ll know not to accidentally scrape it off.
“Noted. Now get to it.”
He kicks off his boxers, thank God. He kisses his way down my body, worshipping each breast, stippling my belly, and teasing my hips.
“Neil,” I prompt, because patience is not my strong suit.
“Shh,” he says, a hand on each knee. He parts my legs. “I need to taste you.”
A shimmy of pleasure zings through me as he brushes his lips across my clit. I’ve always been too self-conscious to enjoy this. I open my mouth to argue.
Then Neil mutters, “Fuck yes. I’ve been dreaming about this.”
Well, then.
He lowers his mouth to my core with patient determination. His tongue makes a slow journey, and he hums happily.
And, yup, I’m shaking with need. If he doesn’t get up here and do me, I might cry. And I never cry. “Okay, Neil, that’s…”
He presses his lips against my flesh as he teases my entrance with blunt fingers.
“Oh God,” I pant. “Baby.”
With a deep groan, he finally swings up my body and kisses me as he fills me.
Yessss. This feels so right. It always has. And I’m finally ready to stop fighting it.
Neil moves, his athlete’s body more graceful than a man has a right to be. I’m just settling in to enjoy the ride when he suddenly rolls us over. I find myself staring down into his clear-eyed smile.
Then he does an impressive ab curl, sitting us up so I’m astride his lap. “Giddy-up, kitten. You woke me up for this. Better finish what you started.”
Without hesitation, I go for it. I don’t hold back—I ride him until we’re both groaning and desperate. The friction of his skin on mine and the heavy-lidded desire in his eyes are making me crazy. Strong hands lock onto my hips, urging me on.
I can’t look away from those beautiful eyes. Now I know why it’s so good with him every time. Now I know why sex got easier for me when I started having it with Neil—because that blissed-out look on his face is love.
I hadn’t recognized it at first, because I’d never seen it before.
I recognize it now, and it takes me right over the edge. Before long, I sink down onto him with a shivery cry.
With a satisfied grunt, he jacks his hips beneath mine and attacks my mouth in one more kiss. We ride it out together, before I collapse in a sweaty heap on his chest.
“Good grief,” I try to say, but it comes out as a sigh. His watch beeps with a blood-sugar warning. “Uh-oh.”
He slaps my ass with a tired motion. “Up, kitten.”
I disengage slowly and with great effort.
Neil reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a pack of peanut M&Ms. He rips open the bag and shoves a few into his mouth. Then he catches my hand and pours a few into my palm. “Here, baby. Keep up your strength. That was some quality work.”
We eat the whole bag. Then we curl up together in the messy bed and fall asleep.
FORTY
REALLY AWKWARD HOLIDAYS
Neil
I wake up to my alarm at eight o’clock. Charli is right beside me, passed out on her face, her red hair a snarl on the pillow.
She’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Leaning down, I kiss her shoulder.
She twitches but doesn’t wake up.
Ah, well. I suppose I’ll have to do the grownup thing and get up quietly to start the coffee. I sneak away from the bed, grabbing my bathrobe before Charli can steal it.
I look at the robe’s tag, finding the name of the brand. Then I locate my phone, take a picture of the tag and a selfie of me wearing it, and send it to Vera. Please find me another one of these at your earliest convenience. It’s the only way I’ll ever get to wear it myself. Charli likes to steal it.
She replies quickly, even though it’s early on a Saturday morning. No problem. Time for a haircut, though.
It’s true. But I can never quite find the time, and the salon at the store where Vera works is too far away. You don’t know any barbers who make house calls, do you?
Negative, she says. But I wish I did. Hey Neil—if I quit this job at the department store and go out on my own, will you still work with me? I’d be able to solve more of my clients’ problems.