“Doesn’t matter. At least it’s the weekend and I can lock myself away with a good book and not worry about school for forty-eight blissful hours.”
Celeste’s disappointed expression threw me off my conversation, and I asked, “What?”
“You really don’t remember, do you?”
“Uh…”
“Harleigh! You promised me and Miles you’d come to the fair tonight.”
Crap. Now that she mentioned it, I had vague memories of a conversation. But that happened a lot around Celeste and Miles. They made plans and I usually half-heartedly mumbled a reply.
But the fair?
That didn’t sound like my idea of fun.
“Mom and Dad have the mixer tonight, remember?”
“That’s tonight?” I really needed to pay more attention.
But the truth was, since seeing Nix I was finding it hard to concentrate, to stay grounded and in the moment.
I couldn’t help but search for him, half-expecting to see him watching from afar.
But I never did.
“Yeah, I didn’t think you’d want to be home for it so I suggested we could go to the fair with Miles, and you said—”
“Yeah, that’s fine.”
“For real?”
I nodded. It sounded a damn sight better than being forced to play nice with my father and Sabrina’s fancy rich friends.
“It’ll be fun,” she added with a smile.
Fun.
It had been so long since I’d had fun, I’d forgotten what it felt like. And since all my memories were deeply entwined with Nix, I wasn’t sure I wanted to remember.
But maybe I could make new memories with Celeste and Miles.
Maybe I could pretend long enough to let myself have fun again.
Maybe.
The Darling Hill end of summer fair was an annual event held on the edge of the reservoir on a small patch of land. Technically, it was beyond the reach of Darling Row and Old Darling Hill and since the fair was only temporary, it was considered to be neutral ground.
At least, that’s what Miles told Celeste and me as he drove us to the fair.
“So you’re saying anyone can come this weekend and there isn’t a thing the other side can do?” Celeste clarified.
“The fair has always been neutral. I heard the unspoken rule is there’s a truce for the duration of the weekend.”
“A truce? Sounds like a bunch of crap if you ask me.” Celeste rolled her eyes.
“You never came before?” He caught my eye in the rearview mirror and I shrugged, looking off to the distance.
“Once, with my mom.” But what a disaster that had been.
Nix, Zane, and Kye had gone in ninth grade. Nix had begged me to go but I didn’t want to go and watch him flirt his way around the place. The next day, I’d found out he’d made out on the Ferris Wheel with Hope Gryffin.
How many times had that happened?
How many times had he begged me to go along with him and the guys to something only for me to find out the next day that he was with Hope or Cherri or Sarah or Neve?
Nix had constantly acted like I was his best friend, that he couldn’t live without me… yet it was never me starring in those rumors and stories the next day. It was always him and someone else. Some other girl. A prettier, bolder, sexier girl.
I was so sure about him back then, about my feelings for him. I thought he needed to figure things out; that when the time was right we would find our way to each other. But time didn’t reward us, it ruined us.
It ripped us apart so severely that when he’d stood in front of me at the bowling alley the other night, I’d felt nothing but the bitter sting of anger and regret.
I’d waited for him for years, and the second he was able to escape from me, he had.
As I stared out of the window, watching the town roll by, my lip curled with disgust. I’d gotten it wrong; so very wrong.
But I’d been a girl then. A meek, innocent, naïve girl.
I wasn’t that girl anymore.
I wouldn’t be so easily led astray again.
“We’re here,” Miles said. He found a parking spot, the field already packed full of cars and people. Up in the distance, I could see the Ferris Wheel, and the flashing lights of the other rides.
My stomach roiled.
“Harleigh?” Celeste glanced back at me, concern creeping into her expression. “We don’t have to—”
“No, I’m fine. I’m not used to so much stimulus.”
The lights.
The noise.
The people.
So. Many. People.
“We can take it easy, stick to the perimeter and get a feel for the place first. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.”
I nodded, worrying my bottom lip as I studied the sight before me.
I only had one memory of the fair. I was about eight and my mom brought me. I’d begged her for days and days to let me ride the Ferris Wheel. We rode the bus to the nearest stop and walked the rest of the way. I was so excited I couldn’t stop talking about it. But the second she’d spotted the beer stand, I knew I’d lost her attention. She gave me five dollars and told me not to spend it all at once while she spent the night chatting up guys in hopes they would keep her glass topped up and her ego full.
Determined to ride on the Ferris Wheel, I’d bought myself a ticket and stood in the line for twenty minutes. When I’d finally got to the front, the attendant said I was too short to ride alone and no one in the line took pity on me.
I’d never been to the fair since.
Until this moment.
I’d always imagined if I ever did return, it would be with Nix. That I’d let him help me replace that traumatic memory with new ones. Nice ones.
But maybe that was my problem. Maybe I was always waiting for someone to make things better for me. When really, the only person I needed was myself.
Nix
“Whose idea was this again?” I mumbled as we cut across the field toward the hustle and bustle of the fair.
“You can thank Chloe,” Kye said. “Mom said she couldn’t go unless I went… and I wasn’t coming without you two.”
“So now you owe us, asshole.” Zane smirked.
“Don’t look at me like that, Washington. You always loved the fair.”
“Yeah, when we were twelve,” he scoffed. “If I remember rightly, it was always Nix’s favorite place. All those girls juiced up on fear and adrenaline, looking for a guy to—”
“Leave it, Z.” I raked a hand through my hair and down the back of my head, rubbing my neck.
I wanted to be here as much as he did. But this morning was the first day I hadn’t woken up as stiff as a board, my body crying out in agony. Which was a good fucking thing because I needed to be back at practice. It was killing me sitting on the sidelines, watching my team run plays without me.
But when Kye had asked us to go with him tonight, yes seemed like a better answer than no.
“Let’s hope Cherri isn’t going to be here.”
There went my mood.
She’d been quiet all week, but every time I’d seen her around school, she’d cut me with an icy glare that would send fear into the heart of most guys.