You need to stay away from Nix.
Because I was the problem.
Me.
My fingers curled around the edge of the bench, pressing into the rough wood. No, my high was slipping. My adrenaline levels plummeting into my toes. Down, down, down. I wanted to sleep. To close my eyes and fall into oblivion.
Then I saw them, standing near Nix’s car.
Nix and Cherri Jardin.
She had him pressed up against the hood, running her hand up his chest in a bold display of ownership.
I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to force air into my lungs.
Of course he was with her. They had always had a thing—or at least, she’d always had a thing for Nix.
She leaned in, nuzzling his neck. Nix slid a hand into her bottle-blonde hair. I’d imagined so many times what it would feel like to have his undivided attention like that. What it would feel like to have him touch me so possessively. How it would—
His eyes snapped to mine, and everything went quiet. The air turned as taut as a bowstring as she continued to kiss his neck, teasing him, touching him. All while he watched me.
I began to tremble; my breaths coming in short, sharp bursts. But I couldn’t look away. I couldn’t tear my eyes away even though it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest.
My stomach roiled, churning with acid. Those imaginary walls closing in around me, the air thinning.
God, please no. Not here. Not now.
I shot up, staggering toward the rows and rows of trailers and RVs.
Breathe, Harleigh. Just fucking breathe.
But I couldn’t. My lungs wouldn’t work right as I started gasping for air, my body trembling. I collapsed against the side of an RV, my vision blurring around the edges. My heart was beating too fast, working too hard inside my chest as I drowned in the erratic sensations slamming into me from all directions.
Breathe.
Just breathe.
BREATHE, HARLEIGH.
Tears stung my eyes as I warred with myself, pressing my palms flat against the cool, smooth surface of the RV, trying to anchor myself.
Trying to stop the darkness swallowing me whole.
Nix
I watched Harleigh stumble into the shadows, disappearing between the trailers and RVs.
What the fuck was she doing?
She’d looked ready to puke or faint. The blood had drained from her face, leaving her skin ashen. Her big green eyes wide with horror as she watched Cherri kiss me.
Fuck.
Fucking motherfucker.
I pushed Cherri off me and ran a hand through my hair. “I need to piss.”
“Now?” She frowned. “But I thought—”
“I’ll be back.”
“What the hell, Nix?” she called after me, but I didn’t look back, focused on one thing.
Finding Harleigh.
I pretended to join the line for the porta-potties but veered off between the two trailers, melting into the shadows. They ran in a neat grid formation but there was no sign of her.
Fuck. Where the hell was she?
The sound of gentle sobs filled the air and I ducked between another row of trailers and found her on the ground, her head hanging between her knees.
The sight of her, sitting there crying, was like a fist to my heart. It punched right through me, taking hold, and squeezing like a fucking vice.
“Harleigh,” I said, inching closer. But she didn’t respond, her body visibly shaking. “Harleigh Wren, look at me.”
That got her attention. She sniffled, lifting her face slowly, her eyes narrowing before widening with surprise. “You shouldn’t be here,” she said, her voice off, silent tears rolling down her cheeks.
“What’s wrong with you?”
Because this wasn’t normal. The way she’d stumbled away from the bench and darted between the trailers. Sitting here, in a trembling heap, sobbing her heart out.
Guilt pricked my insides. She’d seen me with Cherri and I’d taunted her with it. But I’d only wanted to get under her skin the way she’d burrowed under mine at the bowling alley. No, even before that. Ever since I’d heard she was back.
“Just go, please,” she cried, burying her face in her hands.
Anger and frustration bled together inside me and before I could stop myself, I stalked over to her and crouched down. “I asked you a question.” I peeled her hands away. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“And I told you to go.” She snarled, yanking out of my hold.
The air crackled. Thick and heavy around us.
“Harleigh, I—”
“What are you even doing back here, Nix?” Her head rolled back against the side of the RV as if sitting upright was a struggle. “Shouldn’t you be with Cherri? I bet she’s getting lonely.”
A red mist descended over me. “Jealous?” I spat the word with a smirk. I didn’t intend on coming back here and verbally sparring with her, but she drove me in-fucking-sane.
Clearly spending time across the border had done something to her because the girl I used to know would never have spoken to me this way. But maybe that was the problem back then. She had been too meek, too shy and quiet and unsure of herself. Acknowledging her crush on me had felt like taking advantage of that somehow.
So I’d fought it. I’d denied the evolving connection between us. Pretended that she wasn’t changing right in front of my eyes. That I didn’t notice her curves, her unassuming beauty.
I’d lied to myself every second of every day, telling myself that crossing that line would ruin us. Ruin me. She was my friend. My best fucking friend. Anything more could jeopardize what we had.
It was a risk I hadn’t been prepared to take.
Because I’d needed her. More than she ever knew.
“Of Cherri?” Harleigh spat her name. “Never.”
She sounded tired, so weary and exhausted and sad.
But it didn’t stop me from saying, “Did you forget I know when you’re lying, Birdie?” I reached out, toying with the ends of her hair. “You flush.” My finger brushed her jaw, dipping along the side of her throat. “Right here.”
She swallowed. An audible, choked swallow as if she was forcing air past something in her throat.
“Stop touching me.” Her hand swatted mine.
“Why were you freaking out?”
“It’s none of your business. But I can assure you it had nothing to do with the fact you were watching me while you were kissing Cherri.”
Actually Cherri had been kissing me, not the other way around. But I didn’t bother to correct her. Because maybe a little part of me wanted her to hurt. To feel the sting of jealousy.
“Can you get out of my way?” Harleigh leveled me with a hard look, her eyes conveying nothing but hatred.
I stood and backed up, my thoughts running a mile a minute. I shouldn’t have followed her back here, and I definitely shouldn’t have gotten all up in her face about why she was hiding out here in the first place.
But I couldn’t stop myself.
I just couldn’t fucking do it.
Clambering to her feet, Harleigh brushed off her jeans, swaying on her feet. Her hand shot out and she steadied herself against the RV.
What the fuck was wrong with her?
She inhaled a shaky breath, glaring at me. “You can go now,” she said with fake arrogance. Because her eyes… fuck her eyes were like two glittering pools of uncertainty. No, it was more than that… her eyes didn’t look right.