It was the worst kind of torture, having the one thing you wanted more than anything right there and be unable to take it.
Because I couldn’t—could I?
“It’s the old grain mill,” I said.
“I’ve never been out here before.”
“I come here sometimes. To get away from it all.” The car rolled to a stop, and I cut the engine.
“You know, life won’t be like this forever,” Harleigh said.
“Yeah?” I glanced over at her, a weak smile playing on my lips. “You think we’ll get out of The Row?”
“You don’t?”
My shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “Kids like me… they don’t get many opportunities, Wren.”
“You have football. Coach Farringdon believes you could get a scholarship one day, and so do I. You just have to try to stay out of trouble.”
I rolled my eyes. “Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?”
“You know who I am, B. What runs through my blood. I’m not sure I’m cut out for college.”
Her expression darkened. “His actions don’t define you, Nix. You’re more than just Joe Wilder’s son.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” I stared out at the darkness, wishing things were different. Wishing that I was just a boy and she was just a girl. But it wasn’t that simple, because I was Joe Wilder’s kid, and a small part of him lived inside me.
“Nix, I—”
I snatched her hand up in mine and gazed at her. “I need you to know that it’s you, Birdie. It’s always been you.” My heart cracked, deep fissures spreading out through my chest, leaving me hollow. But I—”
“No.” Her lip wobbled. “Don’t do this.”
God, I was a bastard. She thought the kiss earlier meant something more than it did. And I hated myself for it, but I would hate myself more if I took what she was willing to give me and ruined it.
“Don’t you see, Wren? You deserve more than… than what I can give you. So fucking much more.”
She let out a quiet, pained, bitter laugh. “I have spent years watching you with girls. Girls like Cherri. Girls who are everything I’m not. Yet, I still want you. I still want you to look at me the way you look at them. I wore this for you, you know?
“I wore this so for once, for one night, you’d look at me and see past the image you’ve formed of me. See me, Nix. Please just see me.” Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.
“I see you, B. I’ve always fucking seen you, but it doesn’t change anything. I’m messed up, baby. Broken and scarred. Those girls are just a means to an end. But you, you’d be my ruin.”
A tear broke free. And another. Until a river of tears streaked down her cheeks as all the words we hadn’t said filled the space between us.
“I think you should take me home,” she said, unable to look at me.
“Wren, please—”
“No, I can’t do this. I need some time, Nix, take me—”
“Stop. Fuck. Just give me a minute, okay?”
She was crying now, sobbing as if her heart was fucking breaking. But didn’t she realize mine echoed her pain? Because she was my mirror, the other half of my dirty fucking soul.
“Shit, B, don’t cry. Please don’t fucking cry.”
Without thinking, I pulled her onto my lap, forcing her to straddle my legs.
“Let me go,” she cried, smudging her Harley Quinn makeup. “Just let me—”
“Stubborn girl.” I gripped her chin, forcing her to look at me. “You shouldn’t give me your tears, Birdie, I don’t deserve them.”
“You’re right, you don’t.”
“Tell me you’ll always be mine. That I’ll always own part of this.” It was a shitty thing to say, to ask for, but I needed to hear her say it. Just once.
My hand dropped to her chest, right over her heart, begging her to say it.
“No.”
“Say it.”
She pressed her lips together, shaking her head.
Anger rolled through me, but I kept myself in check, as I said, “Yeah, guess I deserve that. Just promise me, whoever you give it up to will deserve you. Promise me, B.”
“Fuck you,” she sneered.
It was seven shades of messed up, but those words coming from her pouty mouth did things to me. Dark, devious things. My eyes dropped to her mouth and a low groan rumbled in my chest.
“Don’t you dare—”
I wrapped a hand around her throat and crashed my mouth down on hers, taking what I needed.
Once.
Just this once.
“Need to touch you,” I murmured between kisses. “Need to feel you, just once.”
Harleigh melted into me, soft whimpers spilling from her lips.
“You taste so fucking good, why do you taste so fucking good?” I trailed hot open-mouthed kisses along her jaw, sucking the skin there, nipping and licking. She shifted above me, rolling her hips. The heat of her pussy turned my blood molten. I was so fucking gone for this girl.
“Keep doing that, B, and this is going to end with me buried deep inside you.” I warned with a smirk.
“Is that a promise?” she whispered.
“Fuck, you can’t say stuff like that to me.”
Harleigh leaned down, scraping her nails along my jaw, tracing the seam of my lips with her tongue. I gritted my teeth at her, nipping the end of her tongue and then sucking it into my mouth. I couldn’t get enough of her. My hands dropped down to her ass and started rocking her over me, back and forth, up and down.
“Does that feel good?”
She nodded, smothering a moan. “Touch me,” she whispered against my neck. “I want you to touch me.”
“One night,” I said. “That’s all this can be. Then things go back to how they’ve always been, Wren.”
She nodded, her eyes fluttering as I thrust up against her, our bodies moving as if they knew exactly what to do.
“I’m serious, B.” I gripped her chin again, pulling us eye to eye. “You’re my best friend. My fucking ride or die. I can’t lose you.”
“Stop,” she said, attempting to nuzzle my neck again. “Stop making everything so difficult. I want this, I want you.”
Fuck.
Those words shattered something inside me, so I kissed her again, harder, pushing my tongue into her mouth. One of my hands slipped between us and I found the bare skin of her stomach, walking my fingers down to the waistband of her skirt.
“Nix.” It was a breathy plea.
I watched her, soaking in every breath, sigh, every fucking thing as I dipped my fingers underneath her skirt and found her panties. “Fuck,” I hissed. “You’re soaked.”
“For you. Only ever for you.” She murmured the words as I stroked her over her panties. “More.” She arched into my hand.
“Greedy little thing.” I smirked, hooking two fingers inside her underwear and slowly sinking them into her tight wet heat.
“Oh God,” Harleigh cried, anchoring her arms over my shoulders.
“Okay?” I asked, and she nodded. “You’re so fucking tight, B.” My thumb circled her clit in lazy slow circles. “Never gonna forget this.”