For a tense few seconds he stared at his brother, still wanting to punch him, but recognizing that maybe Erik was a trigger, not the underlying problem.
“Okay.” He let out the breath he’d been holding. “You’re right. I’m sounding exactly like him. God, Erik, I’m losing my shit.”
“Yeah? Welcome to the club. I can’t find mine anywhere, either.”
Jonas had his hands halfway up to his face when what his brother said hit him, and instead of holding his aching head, he burst out laughing, pleased as hell when Erik joined him. They hadn’t laughed together in a long time.
“You want to go for a run?” He automatically prepared himself for Erik’s refusal. “I need to get rid of this bad energy.”
“Sure.”
Jonas gaped at him. “Yeah?”
“What, you think I don’t know how to run?”
“Hey, I wasn’t sure.” Jonas grinned. “I’ll change and meet you outside.”
Five minutes later, in his running shorts and shoes, Jonas was surprised to find Erik dressed and waiting. And even more surprised when he set a moderate pace and his brother was able to keep up. “You been running in the city?”
“Some. Mostly the gym.”
Gym? Erik? “Since when?”
“Since I found out Allie runs.”
Jonas snorted. “Everything for the women, huh?”
“Been meaning to ask, Jonas, how come you’re here this weekend?”
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Touché.” They turned north on tree-lined Lake Shore Drive, aka Route 9, which meandered along the western shore of the lake.
“I’d say the woman has you.”
“Nobody has me. I’m just up here because—”
“You can’t stop thinking about her, because you have this intense craving for her body and the way she smells and smiles and speaks and—”
“For God’s sake, Erik. You sound like you’re in a movie.”
“But I’m right.”
He was. But Jonas wasn’t going to admit it. “I’m here because we need to talk seriously about selling the house.”
“What is wrong with you?” Erik stopped, then threw up his hands and sprinted to catch up when Jonas kept running. “Why can’t you admit you’re falling for her?”
“I’m not you.”
“I noticed.” He cleared his throat, breathing heavily now. “I’m falling for Sandra.”
“Yeah?” Jonas feigned surprise. “Cool. Who’s it going to be next week?”
“I’m serious, man.” His voice was so somber, Jonas glanced over at him. He did look serious. Or maybe the run was about to give him a heart attack. “I’ve never felt this way about any woman. I think this is it.”
“Come on.” Jonas slowed his pace to go easier on his brother. “Last week you said that about Allie.”
“That was different. I wanted to marry Allie because I thought it was time I got married and that she’d be good for me. Comfortable, you know. Like old clothes.” He looked over at Jonas apologetically. “No offense.”
“None taken.” Though Erik’s thinking that someone as unpredictable and exciting as Allie was comfortable was like...well, like the way Jonas had thought about settling down with Sandra. What had seemed pleasant and possible back then would now feel like settling, not settling down.
They ran on, passing the boat store where Dad had bought their kayaks, a few houses of neighbors he’d met and enjoyed. It would be hard to give this place up.
“I think I’m in love with her.” Erik betrayed his agitation by speeding nearly to a sprint.
“Erik.” Jonas couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. Over the years his brother had used every word in the dictionary to describe his feelings for women. All except for that one. “Did you just say you think—”
“No, I don’t think. I am in love with her.” His voice was thick with emotion. “What the hell am I going to do?”
“Do? You’re asking me?” Jonas started laughing. “I couldn’t even admit why I came up here this weekend.”
“What is wrong with us?” Erik was laughing, too. “I mean, really, this emotion stuff shouldn’t be so hard. We grew up in such an open and supportive family.”
“Oh, yeah.” Between running and laughing, Jonas could barely get the words out. “Every night at dinner it was the same from Dad, ‘Jonas, Erik, please share your feelings with your mother and me.’”
“Ha!” Erik could barely catch his breath. “Yes! ‘We would like to listen with respect and then validate those emotions, so we will never ever make you feel as if you couldn’t possibly measure up to our standards.’”
“‘Afterward, your mother and I would like to share our feelings. We’ll admit we’re only human and let you off the hook for being that way, too.’”
“‘What’s that, Erik?’” Erik put a hand to his ear as if he were their father listening to a distant voice. “‘You think I can be a narrow-minded, intolerant son of a bitch? Thank you for sharing that.’”
Jonas ran faster, feeling as if he were on the verge of bursting out of some too-tight shell. “‘What, Jonas? Did you say you were effing tired of being responsible all the time? Go wild! Please let your mother and I know how we can help with your quest for self-knowledge and fulfillment.’”
Erik dropped behind while a car passed them. “Can you imagine?”
“Not really.”
They ran on, past woods, mowed lawns, occasional houses or businesses, no longer chuckling.
“Though in the end, it’s too easy to blame our parents.” Jonas used his shirt to wipe his forehead. “They did their best. It’s up to us to be who we want to be.”
“True.” Erik was starting to sound winded. “Me? I want to be a man in bed with Sandra for the rest of my life.”
“So drive to Boston and tell her.”
Erik stopped abruptly. Jonas turned back after momentum carried him a few more steps. Erik stood, panting, looking as if he’d just been zapped with electricity.