Locally made bread, foreign cheeses costing upward of twenty dollars a pound, deli salads with fresh artichokes and imported caper berries, organic plums and exclusive Hawaiian chocolate.
Her hunger had been renewed. For this meal, for that life...and for Erik.
They settled on her stained couch in the living room, food spread out on the coffee table she’d found at a rummage sale.
While they stuffed themselves, they chatted about her show, about Allie and Jonas, about Lake George, about Boston versus New York, until the bottle was empty, the food decimated.
“So, Sandra.” Erik moved closer to her on the couch. “We have some unfinished business.”
She sent him a withering look. “Did you really just use that line on me?”
“No.” He shook his head violently. “Absolutely not. That was someone else.”
Sandra giggled, buoyed by the wine and Erik’s really fun company. “I believe you owe me one more secret.”
“Do I?” He took her wine, put it down next to his, drew her to him and kissed her, gentle and sweet. He smelled amazing, of spice and leather. Her body responded—but so did her heart. “I thought maybe we could do a short recap first of previous sexual—”
“Not so fast.” Sandra told her heart to cut it out. “You owe me that secret first.”
“And I intend to pay up.” He put his hand to his heart, then took hers and pressed it there, as well. “But you have to go first this time.”
Sandra snorted. “Why, you want to make me cry again?”
“Ah, but you cry like an angel.”
“Ha!” She smiled unwillingly. “You’ve never seen one.”
“Not until I met you.”
Sandra ignored the piercing sweetness in her chest. “Save the lines for your other women.”
“Ooh.” He grimaced. “Unfortunately...there aren’t any.”
“No?” She pretended to be surprised, wanting desperately to smooth back hair that had fallen over his forehead.
He looked down at his hands clasping his wineglass. “I’m not sure what’s happening to me, Sandra, but I’m starting to suspect you might be it for a while.”
“Because...” Her heart started thumping. This was dangerous ground. “You’re becoming a monk?”
“Never!”
“Oh.” She patted his knee sympathetically. “Impotence, I understand.”
He shot her a glance. “Just try me.”
Sandra laughed, feeling twenty times better than she had an hour before, and swung her legs over his, easing into his lap. What had she been worrying about? Everything was back to the way it was. Everything was fine. “I don’t think that’s a good idea just yet.”
He held her gaze, looking more serious than she’d ever seen him. Forget thumping, her heart was hammering now; instinct was warning her, fight or flight. “I want to make love to you, Sandra.”
Lord have mercy.
She managed to keep her reaction mostly under control. Only the smallest gasp leaked out. “Sorry, that wasn’t the deal until after the third secret.”
“I’m changing the rules.” He pushed her legs off him, stood and dragged her to her feet with more force than he needed so she overbalanced. As she cried out, he bent down, catching her across his shoulders in a fireman’s carry, and strode with her back into the kitchen.
“Oh for—” She was half laughing, half turned on by the macho act. “Put me down.”
“Soon.”
“I mean it, Erik.”
“I know you do.” A few more strides and they were in her bedroom. He knelt by her bed so she could dismount. Just as she straightened, ready to let him have it, he lunged up and tumbled her onto the mattress, covering her body with his.
“Well, Sandra.” He grinned lazily down at her. “Here we are.”
Her alarm bells were still sounding. His words echoed in her ears, I want to make love to you, Sandra. “Off me, you pig.”
“Umm...no, thank you.” He pushed her robe open and took in a sharp breath, gazing at her nakedness. “I have dreamed of you, Sandra, missed you, wanted you.”
His words blasted through her attitude, and without that she could say nothing, just lay staring at the ceiling as his mouth found her breast. Then she closed her eyes, trying to lose herself in the sensation, telling herself he was flawed, mortal, not worthy of her goddess status, trying to remind herself that she was the great invincible Sandra, who’d never fall for any man, no matter how charmingly he presented himself. To give in to the warm, sweet feelings welling up in her would spell her doom, and the end of his interest.
No weakness.
He kissed down her stomach. Sandra waited, fists clenching the bedspread. The first lick was a long, slow caress. Then nothing. She stayed motionless, her arousal peaking, then dissipating. His tongue made the long, slow trip again. Again, she lay still, controlling her breathing and her heart as best she could.
Then touches, light ones, gentle flicks across her clit. Her breath caught. She suppressed a moan, forced herself not to move. Her desire shot up and hung like a firework in the sky, waiting to explode.
Then nothing but the room’s cool air.
A whimper escaped her. Erik whispered her name, then slid a finger inside her, started the gentle touches and licks again, taking his time, bringing her nearly to the edge, backing off and letting her come down. She fought him, not wanting him to make her lose control, even this way.
“Come for me, Sandra.” He was breathing fast, and his voice was low with emotion.
She shook her head. “You owe me a secret.”
He got off the bed and began taking off his clothes. His emerging body was familiar, beautiful, not perfect, but muscled and totally masculine. She swallowed. Never in her wildest dreams did she think this game would turn out to be so deadly serious, the rules she’d made up as a way to manipulate him so threatening to her own peace of mind.
Then he was naked, except for a condom, getting back onto her double bed, pulling off her robe, laying her back down. She submitted, anxious, eager, reluctant, impatient, terrified.
She’d never made love to anyone she cared about this much. The realization brought tears to her eyes.
No, she couldn’t do this.