“I’m not feeling all that well. I’ve been fighting a headache all day. I’m just drinking water,” I say, holding up my water bottle as if I need evidence of the fact.
“Party pooper.” April sticks her tongue out at me.
I don’t bother holding in my laughter. “I’m going to go grab some food. I’ll see you all in a little while.” With a wave, I walk off and head toward the tables covered in food. I’ll eat, talk to my sister a little longer, and I’m out of here.
Grabbing a plate, I start to fill it up when I feel him behind me. I pretend he’s not there and continue down the line, grabbing some vegetables and dip.
“Riles?”
I stop, pull in a deep breath, and look over my shoulder at him. He’s close. So close, I can feel his hot breath across my face. “We need to talk.”
“This is your party, Hudson. You should be enjoying yourself.”
“I leave tomorrow.” His tone is solemn.
“I know.” I look down at my feet. I want to beg him not to go, but he’s not mine, and it’s not my place. Besides, even if he were mine, I wouldn’t ask him not to go. If this is something he wants or, hell, even needs to do, I support him.
He reaches out and places his hand on the small of my back. “You look beautiful,” he whispers.
His touch burns through the thin fabric of my dress, branding me. “Thank you. You look nice too.” I clear my throat before stepping away from his touch and turning to face him. “Are you all packed?”
“You don’t care about that.”
“Of course I do.”
“Riley.”
“Hudson.”
He steps in closer. “That kiss.”
I raise my hand to stop him. “It was a mistake. I understand. Not a big deal. Water under the bridge. We were in the heat of the moment.”
His jaw stiffens, and so do his shoulders. “Right. A mistake. Water under the bridge.” He shakes his head as if he’s disgusted. “I need another beer.” Just like that, he beelines toward the coolers and grabs not one but two bottles of beer.
I keep my eyes trained on him as he twists off the cap of the first and tilts it back. He doesn’t stop until it’s drained. He tosses it in the trash, along with the cap from the second, and stalks off toward the guys.
I wish I knew what he was thinking. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut and let him explain, but I was giving him an out. I was giving us both an out. It’s easier for me to say those things than to hear those very words pass his lips. I’m in protection mode, which only seems to piss him off even more.
I should throw caution to the wind and tell him how I feel, but I can’t stomach the thought of his rejection. It’s better this way. At least, that’s what I keep telling myself. He’s leaving, so starting something now would be pointless and way too fragile for a one-year hiatus anyway. It’s just not our time.
My heart sinks because I realize it might never be.
CHAPTER 6
Hudson
I’m standing in the back corner hiding at my own party. The party that wasn’t mine until a week ago when I made a life-altering decision. I’m leaving for Guatemala tomorrow, and I’ll be gone for a year. Twelve months. Three hundred and sixty-five days of not seeing her.
What the fuck was I thinking?
Oh, right, I was thinking that the woman I love doesn’t love me back. I tried talking to her earlier, but she blew me off. Just like she’s been blowing me off all damn week. I wanted to clear the air with her before I leave tomorrow, but she’s not interested. So instead, I grabbed a couple of beers and stalked off. I hung with the guys for a while until I had to take a piss. After handling my business, I’ve been standing here in this corner watching her.
She’s so damn beautiful it makes my chest ache just to look at her. I had her in my arms, my lips were on hers, and it was over far too soon. Now, my impulsive decision, which I thought we both wanted, has led me to miss her like a fucking limb.
I’ve made my rounds and have spoken to everyone here. I’ve accepted their hugs and their “I’ll miss yous,” but there is only one person I want to hear those words from. I’ve second-guessed this decision a million times this week. I don’t know if leaving town right now is the best plan, but it’s one I’ve committed to, and now here I am. My flight leaves tomorrow at ten in the morning. I have a matter of hours to spend with her, and from the looks of it, I’m not going to be able to do that.
She’s made sure not to be alone again all night, and trust me, I would know. I can’t take my eyes off her. Hell, it’s not even that I need to be watching her. I can feel where she is in the room. It sounds freakish and not even believable to my own ears, but it’s the truth. I can look up and know exactly where she is at all times. I’m that in tune with her.
How could I have been so wrong? I thought she wanted the kiss. Hell, she kissed me back. Then again, she was drinking, but she wasn’t drunk. At least she didn’t appear to be. She was buzzed at best.
My eyes trail her as she makes her way to Clayton. She smiles at him and lifts her arms to wrap him in a hug. He steps into her embrace and holds her to him while her smile grows. I can almost hear her laughter from all the way over here. It’s a musical sound that warms me from the inside out.
When she steps out of his hold, she then moves to hug Raven. I watch as they exchange words. Riley shakes her head before waving at our group of friends and heading toward the door.
Is she leaving?
Panic takes flight in my veins.
She can’t leave.
This can’t be the last time I lay eyes on her for a year. Tossing my unfinished beer in the trash can, I move to the side entry door to go after her. No one will see me slip out. At least that’s what I’m hoping for. Hell, if they do see me, I don’t give a fuck. I need to hold her, hug her one more time before I leave.
I have to.
My feet carry me around the front of the building. I scan the parking lot searching for her car. I spot it way in the back but don’t see her. I’m frantic as my head swivels from side to side, looking for her. A car horn beeps, and my eyes turn to follow the sound, and that’s when I see her. Her dark hair is blowing in the slight wind. I take off in a run. She can’t leave. Not yet. Not like this. I can’t leave with us being at odds.
I’m maybe five feet away when I call out to her. “Riley!”
She stops. Her body is frozen like a statue, but she doesn’t turn around. In a few more long strides, I’m standing right behind her. I don’t know what possesses me to do it, but I step into her, aligning my front to her back, resting my hands on her hips. “You didn’t say goodbye.”
“I hate goodbyes.” Her whispered reply wraps around me like a blanket on a cold winter’s day.
“You said goodbye to Clay.”
“Yeah,” she agrees.
She didn’t want to say goodbye to me. I’m choosing to think it’s because it would be too painful. That tells me that she’s not pissed about our kiss. I hope like hell I’m right. My brain is clouded from one too many beers, but I’m about to take a leap with the woman in my arms, and I hope that she’s ready to jump with me.