I frowned, deflating as I realized that was a possibility. “I guess I hadn’t thought of that.”
Dad patted my hand. “I know this is hard, little mouse. Believe it or not, I dated a few girls pretty seriously before I found your mom. I know what it’s like to have a heart broken.”
I folded in on myself, my heart squeezing painfully tight in my chest as if cued.
“But if Bonnie Raitt taught me anything, it’s that you can’t make someone love you if they don’t.”
“Wait,” I said. “That’s an Adele song.”
“She covered it.”
“Bonnie Raitt did?”
Dad blinked. “I’m going to choose to ignore the fact that my daughter doesn’t know who Bonnie Raitt is and get back to the matter at hand, which is this,” he said, leaning in closer. His blue eyes flashed with warmth, a sympathetic smile on the lips that mine were mirrored after. “At this point, it doesn’t matter what you think you know about what might be going on behind the scenes for this boy. All you have to go off is what actually happened, what he told you, and what you do know for certain.” He paused. “He looked you right in the eyes and told you it’s over.”
My bottom lip trembled, and Dad squeezed my hand.
“At some point, you have to accept that and move forward. I’m not saying you need to sprint, or that it’s not going to hurt every step of the way. But that’s what life is, sometimes. It’s just getting up, getting dressed, and putting one foot in front of the other until one day… the pain fades. And you know what else?”
“What?” I whispered.
“Life has a funny way of surprising us and bringing us something even better down the line.”
I swallowed, nodding, trying to find solace in his words. “I… I think I love him, Dad.”
My words broke at the end of the confession, tears blurring my eyes as I glanced up at my father who looked like I’d just fallen off a cliff right in front of his eyes.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, and in a flash, he was up out of his side of the booth and dipping into mine.
He wrapped me up in a fierce hug, one I felt all the way to my bones as I clung to him and let myself cry.
“It’s okay to love him.”
“Even if he doesn’t love me back?”
“That’s the thing about love,” he said, kissing my hair. “It doesn’t need to be reciprocated to be real.”
I couldn’t be sure how long we sat there, Dad holding me while I fell apart in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant full of rowdy college students, but I savored every moment of that comfort he brought me.
And the next morning, I woke up with the same excruciating agony that had plagued me since Clay broke my heart. But this time, I didn’t surrender to it. I didn’t overanalyze every word he’d said to me, or replay all the moments we spent in my bed. I didn’t cling to the memory of his laugh, or how I could still close my eyes and feel his hands on my face, his lips on my lips.
This time, I got dressed.
I put on my shoes.
And one slow step at a time, I moved forward.
Giana
A week later, I waited on the bench outside Rum & Roasters, tucking my peacoat tight around me against the chilly breeze. It was a poor choice to wear my tights and skirt today, but I missed skirt season. I was tired of wearing sweaters and pants, and I wanted to break out the whiskers skirt.
For reasons I probably would never admit to anyone, myself included.
So, I rubbed my legs through the thin fabric to try to bring a little warmth, eyes scanning the students walking by for Shawn. As soon as he got here, we could dip inside the coffee shop so I could defrost.
I didn’t know exactly why I had felt the need to call him, to ask him to meet up — but something about coming clean about everything felt like it would give me a little closure. I certainly wasn’t going to get anything close to closure from Clay, so maybe this was my heart’s desperate attempt to take back some of the control that had been stolen from me.
My phone buzzed in my coat pocket, and I sighed at the text on it when I pulled it out.
Sorry, running a little late. Be there soon.
I thumbed out a reply, but before I could send it, someone’s shadow swept over me.
“Cute skirt, but I don’t know how the hell you’re not freezing your tits off right now.”
I frowned, angling my head up and squinting through the sun to find a smirking Riley staring down at me.
I smiled, looking down at the whiskers on my lap. “Maybe it’s because I don’t have any tits to freeze off?”
Riley laughed. “Scoot over.”
I did, and Riley took the seat next to me, looping her arm through mine and instantly warming me with her body heat through the much more comfortable athletic sweats she was wearing. I gave a small sigh of content, both at the heat and at the comfort she brought.
“What are you doing sitting in the cold, weirdo?”
I chuckled. “Waiting for someone.”
“Clay?”
His name sucked the smile off my face like a vacuum. “No,” I said, swallowing. “Just a friend.”
Riley nodded, quiet for a moment before asking, “You ever going to tell me what happened between you two?”
“I would if I knew.”
She frowned. “What does that mean?”
“It means he’s back with Maliyah, but I… I just know that’s not what he actually wants.”
“How do you know?”
I let out a breath, eyeing her for a moment before I turned to face her fully, and because I knew how big of a deal they were to her, I held out my pinky. “Pinky promise you won’t tell a soul what I’m about to tell you?”
Her eyes lit up, complete seriousness washing over her as she hooked her digit around mine. “My lips are sealed.”
And with that promise, I spilled everything.
Not just the version I’d told my dad, which had been sugarcoated and left out many details, but the full story. I told her about our agreement, how it had been fake at first — to which she perked up and declared I knew it! I told her that somehow along the way, things changed. My cheeks tinged red when I admitted that I was a virgin, and how Shawn singing his stupid steamy song had made me panic and beg Clay to help me not be anymore.
Everything.
The observatory, the auction, the days and nights we’d spent wrapped up in each other.
The break.
I couldn’t fight back my tears when I told her that part, and she squeezed my hand in hers, nodding like she knew exactly what I was feeling. After what happened between her and Zeke last semester, I had no doubt she really did.
“So, like I said, I’d tell you what happened if I understood it myself, but I don’t. He just… ended it. And I don’t care what he says about being back with Maliyah, I know it’s not what he wants. I just don’t know why he’s doing this.”
“Do you think he felt bad for hurting her? Or maybe she has something on him!” Riley bounced. “Oh my God, maybe she’s a sneaky cheerleader drug dealer and he got caught up in her web, and now she has him by the balls and he has no choice!”
I blinked. “Okay, I read mafia romance books for fun, and not even my brain went there.”