Something raw and emotional snagged in my throat, and I tore my gaze from them, looking at the empty shower hall as I swallowed down whatever it was that was choking me. I was silent for a long while, shaking my head, intent to come back with some sort of argument.
But I didn’t have one.
Instead, I finally relented, sighing and letting my head fall back against the tile.
“It’s a long story,” I croaked.
Riley carefully lowered herself down onto the wet tile next to me, not a care in the world that it was going to soak her shorts when she did. She reached over and grabbed my forearm.
“We have time.”
Zeke and Holden sat down, too.
“We could move somewhere that isn’t the shower,” I suggested.
“Not a chance,” Riley said. “I need that faucet threat hanging over you. Literally.”
I smirked, then blew out a breath, and told them everything.
I was shocked at how easily the words came once I started, beginning with the deal I’d struck with Giana and ending with the nightmarish scene at her apartment — which was the last time we’d spoken.
All three of them leaned in, listening intently, and at the end of it all, they exchanged looks before Holden shook his head and said, “So, you did all this for your mom?”
I nodded. “I know it might not make sense to you, but she’s… she’s done so much for me, given up so much…”
“I understand more than you’d think,” Holden said, his stare severe where it held mine. But he didn’t elaborate before he added, “I get it. She’s your mom. She raised you. But, man… she’s the parent. She’s supposed to do that.”
I frowned. “Okay… so?”
“So, you’re the kid. You’re her son. And as much as you love her and want to help her, she’s an adult who needs to first help herself.”
“But she can’t. Not without me.”
“Yes, she can,” Riley said. “Your mom made a lot of choices that got her here. And I know you feel like you need to fix it for her, but if she doesn’t have to do the work herself?” Riley shrugged. “How is she ever really going to learn the lesson and grow?”
“This is not your battle,” Zeke added. “We are all for you helping your mom if rehab is what she needs, and we’ll figure out a way to get her there. But this? Accepting money from Cory in exchange for giving up the girl who’s made you happier than we’ve ever seen you?” He shook his head. “That’s not the answer.”
“But what else can I do?” I asked, throwing my hands up. “I already took out a loan. I can’t just keep doing that. My dad won’t help. And I don’t want to enter the draft early.”
“That’s not happening,” Holden said, as if it wasn’t even an option to consider. Zeke’s equally stern glare told me he felt the same.
“We will figure it out. Just give us some time to think,” Riley said. “And until then, your mom is an adult. She can take care of herself — the catch is, you have to let her. You have to take the crutch away and show her that she doesn’t need it. She can walk on her own.”
“And if she doesn’t? If she falls?”
Zeke looked at Riley and then back at me. “She’ll get back up. That’s what we all do — we get back up, and we try again.”
I shook my head, even as their words started to clear the fog in my head. “I already accepted that check from Cory. Mom cashed it. She’s in rehab on his dime. And he… he cares about us,” I said, not realizing how much that hurt until the words were out. “In his own fucked-up way, this is him showing that.”
“This is him getting what he wants,” Riley argued. Zeke gave her a pointed look that made her zip her lips shut, though I could tell by how red her cheeks were that it was an effort to keep from saying more.
“Tell him you appreciate his help and his offer, but that you’ve changed your mind,” Holden said calmly. “And if he takes the money back and she has to go back home? Again, we’ll figure it out.”
“And by the way, I know she hurt you in the past, but none of this is fair to Maliyah,” Riley added, unable to stay quiet any longer. “You and Cory are a lot alike, I can see that just from what you’ve told us. You both want to help people you love. But this isn’t the way to do it.” She shrugged. “Your mom is hurting. So is Maliyah. They’re probably regretting decisions they’ve made that led to where they are now. But that doesn’t mean you take it on you to fix it all and make everything better — because that only leaves them feeling emptier.”
“So what am I supposed to do then?” I challenged.
“Just be there for her,” Riley said, shaking her head as a smile curled on her lips. “Tell your mom you love her and you understand. Listen to her when she needs it. Support her when she asks for your advice. When she decides what she wants to do next, offer whatever help you can within your physical, emotional, mental, and financial means.”
“Love her through the hard time while reminding her it won’t last forever,” Holden added, and again, there was something so solemn in his gaze that I wondered if he was speaking from experience, from a lesson he’d learned himself.
“You have a right to be happy, Clay,” Riley said softly. “And you do not have to bear everyone else’s burdens. You’ve done enough of that.”
I swallowed, head falling back as I looked up at the showerhead. “I don’t want to hurt her.”
“She’s your mom,” Zeke said instantly. “If anything, she will be proud of you for setting boundaries. She wants the best for you, too. And she will be okay, man. I promise.”
I closed my eyes, shaking my head, not because I was refusing to listen, but because I hated how much everything they said made sense. Maybe it was something I’d known all along, something that swam under the surface of my need to be the one to fix everything for my mom, for Maliyah, for anyone in my life who was in trouble.
“Where was all this sage advice two weeks ago?” I whispered on a sad laugh.
“Right here. You were just too damn prideful to come to your friends and ask for help,” Riley said.
“Fair,” I admitted on a sigh. Then, I looked at each of them. “I hear you. And I… I know you’re right.”
“How badly did that hurt?” Zeke teased with a smirk.
I tried to smile, too, but it fell flat as I considered everything. “I’ll talk to Cory. And I’ll call my mom, explain everything. Maliyah wants to get sushi right after this, so I guess I can face her first. She deserves to know the truth.”
My stomach curled at the thought. It would be back-to-back disappointment from each person, but I knew I had no choice but to face the mess I’d created.
“And Giana?” Riley pressed.
My chest ached. “She’s moved on.”
Riley frowned. “Okay, I love you, Clay, but how stupid are you?” She shook her head. “That girl is far from moved on. She…” Riley inhaled a breath that stopped her next word. “You need to talk to her.”
“She’s with Shawn,” I said, the words nearly killing me as I croaked them out. “I’m too late.”