I wasn’t enough.
I’d never ever been enough.
I took a step back as the realization slammed into me like a high-speed train.
“I can’t do this,” I said and brushed past him and toward my bedroom.
“Nora, what are you doing?”
“Leaving.”
“What?” he asked in shock. “Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. To Hollin’s.” Then, I shook my head. “No, my dad’s. I can’t stay here.”
“I’m leaving tomorrow.”
“Then, you can spend your last night alone,” I said with a shake of my head. “Go live your big dream. I can’t be here and love you. Everything about this place is you. It’s all you.”
“Nora…”
“You made your choice, West.” I whipped around to face him. “Tell me you love me. Tell me we can work this out.”
I waited. I hoped. I prayed.
But West stared at me and remained silent. Those words didn’t pass his lips. He wasn’t going to try with me. It wasn’t worth it for him.
I’d settled for less than I deserved once before. I wouldn’t do it again. So, I turned my back on his silence and packed my suitcase. I held the tears back long enough to get into the car, but then they unleashed until I couldn’t even see the windshield. I pulled over and let all the devastation loose.
27
Weston
I couldn’t sleep.
Nora’s words rang through my mind. I’d totally fucked it up. Utterly and completely. There was nothing I could say to fix it. I couldn’t tell her I loved her. She wouldn’t go, and I couldn’t stay. Long-distance was never going to work. There was no compromise here. There was only the end, like we’d planned from the start.
After tossing and turning all night, I packed my suitcases, picking my closet clean. Without Nora here, I’d have to figure out what to do with the place. Whitt would probably look over it until I could decide.
Two knocks came from the front door, and then it opened.
“Knock, knock,” Whitt said.
I’d asked him this morning if he’d drive me to the airport. He’d texted back, asking why Nora wasn’t doing it. I hadn’t been able to tell him the truth and just said she was busy.
“Wow, you look like shit,” Whitt said with a laugh. “Too much partying last night?”
I ran a hand along the back of my head. “Nora and I…fuck, I don’t know what you’d call it. We got into a huge fight, and she left.”
“She left the house?” He arched an eyebrow.
I nodded. “I guess we broke up.”
Whitt crossed his arms, but he didn’t look surprised. “Because you’re leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“Hmm,” Whitt said. He reached for one of my suitcases. “All right.”
“What does that mean?”
“Don’t you usually know?”
Yeah, he was right. I sighed. “You think it’s for the better.”
“Isn’t that why you did it?”
I ran my hands down my face. “I don’t even know anymore.”
Whitt put a hand on my shoulder. “Look, I like Nora. I like you with Nora. You seemed steady. She seemed happy. But how would it even work? You’re going to be a thousand miles away. And then on tour for most of the year. That’s not even possible.”
“That’s what I said to her.”
Still, it felt like every inhalation was glass in my lungs.
Whitt patted me twice. “You know it was the right thing to do.”
I followed him out to his car with the other suitcase. We loaded them up and headed back inside for the rest of my stuff and a stiff cup of coffee. Once we got in the car, I felt pulled toward Nora. She was at her dad’s. She was probably so pissed at me. Fuck. I hated leaving things like this.
“I feel like I should still talk to her one more time,” I told Whitt. “She was so angry when she left.”
“Oh no, you don’t. That is a bad idea.”
“What? Why?”
Whitt shot me an incredulous look. “Do you really not know? You just broke up with her.”
“I know, but not because I don’t care.”
“Does that change anything? Are you going to take her back?”
“No,” I told him.
“No. So, what will your presence do?”
I slumped in my seat. “Nothing. It’ll hurt her worse.”
“Exactly. You’re making the right choice. It doesn’t feel good right now, but wait until you’re in LA, playing with the band. This is what you wanted. What you struggled for. It’ll get better.”
He was right. I knew he was right. And still, it didn’t make me feel any better. I didn’t deserve to feel any better. We’d agreed that this was what we’d do. We’d agreed. And I’d been the idiot for thinking that would matter.
We arrived in the studio in LA to fanfare. Bobby shook my hand relentlessly. The contracts had been emailed to me last night. Though Viv had offered her attorney’s info, I felt better having someone unrelated to the band look into it.
So, I’d called my dad…
As much as I’d wanted to avoid him at all costs, he had the contacts I needed. He’d readily agreed to have his attorney take a look at it. And by the time I’d landed in LA, I had revised contracts in hand. That simple.
Sometimes, I forgot exactly how much power Owen Wright had. He didn’t run Wright Construction anymore, but he sat on the board of directors for other corporations in Seattle now. And the man still knew how to properly throw his weight around.
Bobby and the studio agreed to the revisions, and then I signed the new paperwork. I was officially a member of Cosmere.
“Whoa,” I whispered as soon as the papers were signed.
The band congratulated me, and pictures were taken. Blaire stood off to the side with a wide smile on her face. She’d noticed that something was off with me, but I’d avoided her, so I didn’t have to have that conversation.
We were immediately whisked to an interview to talk about me joining, then an actual photoshoot, and then a marketing meeting.
By Friday, when we were slated into Jimmy Kimmel, I’d barely had a moment to myself, except when I was sleeping. Well, when I should have been sleeping but instead tossed and turned all night. When I managed to drift off, I would wake, feeling like I’d been on an airplane the whole time, jet-lagged and exhausted.
“We’re overworking you,” Campbell said with a laugh.
I jerked awake in the car on the way to the talk-show set. “Fuck, sorry, dude.”
“Too much excitement?”
“Something like that.”
“It’ll calm down until the album comes out, and then we’ll be go, go, go for the next year. Press tours are exhausting, but there’s nothing like a world tour. You already know all about that though.”
“I’m not sure you’d say my experience as a part of a backup band would be comparable to your world tour.”
Campbell shrugged. “You’ll do fine. Just need to get some sleep.”