He shook his head. “Ms. Calvert—that’s the lawyer you saw in the diner—said that Alice was in day care when it happened. Sally got a real estate license and she had some showings that day. It was raining pretty hard when she hydroplaned and went off the road. Her car rolled down a steep incline and landed upside down in a drainage ditch.”
Jenna’s stomach twisted. “Oh no.”
“The postmortem said she died from a head injury. There was no water in her lungs, but if she hadn’t been killed from the impact, she would have drowned in that ditch.”
“Oh my God. I’m really so sorry.”
He glanced at Alice, who was still eating pizza. She didn’t understand a lot of what they said at her age, which was good. She was singing a song to herself, nonsensical words, and seemed preoccupied with her food. All good.
He pulled in a breath. “I got a highchair, a potty chair, and a crib that can transition to a toddler bed because people told me to, but I don’t know what else she needs. If she needs other stuff, we can get it. I just didn’t know what to buy, quite honestly. I went with the most immediate stuff.”
“What about toys?”
“She had some things in the suitcase, but she could probably use some of those educational toys and shit.”
Jenna couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at him, but she did it in a way that she hoped indicated amusement. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but you’re going to have to clean up the language if you don’t want her repeating certain words.”
“Oh damn—I mean crap.” He shook his head. “All right, I suck at this. Maybe neither of those is good.”
“Just depends on what you want to hear repeated in a high-pitched kid voice when you’re out in public.”
“Point taken. Fine, she needs some more toys. And probably more clothes. She’s not potty trained yet, either.”
“I would imagine that’s going to take time at this point.”
“That’s what Brooke said.”
She didn’t ask who Brooke was, but the pinprick of jealousy was unwelcome. “I’m not an expert in child psychology or anything. I think you should know that. I’ve never had kids, either. I worked in a day care center for three years, and I thought about getting a degree in early childhood education, but I didn’t. I decided that while I like kids, I don’t like parents very much, and I wasn’t willing to put up with some of the stuff that parents do and say to their children’s caregivers.”
“You know a lot more than I do.”
She nodded. “I had to take CPR and first aid classes while working with children as well, so I won’t be helpless if something happens. Though, believe me, I don’t intend to let it.”
“I’m glad to hear it. I’m sure there’s a lot we’re going to have to talk about over the next few days. I’ll get a key made for you, and I’ll give you my schedule. It’s subject to upheaval, as I said before.”
“When you go on a mission.”
He nodded. “Right. It can happen pretty much at the drop of a hat. I may not have much time to communicate, but I’ll make sure you’re aware. And when I’m gone, I won’t be in touch at all.” His eyes widened. “I need to give you a credit card so you can buy things while I’m gone, don’t I?”
“I’d say I could take care of it and you pay me when you return, but since I don’t know how long you’ll be gone, that might be a good idea. What about your house? Utilities and stuff?”
“Automatic payments. You won’t have to worry about that.”
“That’s good.”
“Right. I can’t afford to get behind on my house payment or have the utilities turned off if I’m not here to take care of it.” He raked a hand through his hair. “I’m beginning to realize there’s a lot more to this than I thought. If I don’t come back, I need to make sure things are set for her.”
If I don’t come back.
She didn’t like the sound of that, but she understood where he was coming from. Her dad had been in civil engineering, and he’d deployed to conflict zones to help build things when necessary, but he’d never been in active combat. Neither had her mother, who’d been in Intelligence. Noah’s entire profession was active combat.
“That’s a good idea,” she replied. Calmly, she thought. Like they weren’t discussing his death. Then again, she knew how quickly and unexpectedly death could find you. Her parents’ plane crash. Sam sitting at his desk, waiting for her to bring dinner to him. If she hadn’t stopped to pee first…
She shivered. If she hadn’t stopped to pee, she’d have been in his office when Owen Fisher, the Flanagans’ hitman, walked in. He’d have shot her without a second thought.
Noah ate another bite of pizza, frowning. “This is not anything I wanted to think about, you know? I don’t have dependents, or family, and it doesn’t matter what happens after I die. At least it didn’t.”
Jenna looked at Alice picking up another piece of pizza and putting it in her mouth. She’d stopped singing now. Her blue eyes were big and maybe a little wary as she looked from one adult to the next. She still hadn’t settled, and Jenna’s heart went out to her. She’d felt lost and alone when she’d lost her mother too, but at least she’d been a grown woman who could take care of herself.
“It matters to her. Your plans don’t have to be elaborate. Pick friends with kids, people who you like and trust, and name them her guardians if they agree. Make sure her situation is secure at the least.”
“Like Sally did. She didn’t have much money. What she had paid off her debts, according to Ms. Calvert. But the one thing she did was make sure Alice wasn’t going into foster care.”
The emotion in the way he said foster care prickled her senses, but she didn’t ask any questions. It wasn’t her business, but it was something she thought about for the rest of the evening. The twist to his mouth, the flash of anger in his gaze. The way his entire body seemed to tighten for a moment before the moment moved on again.
Noah Cross had a personal connection to the foster care system, of that she was certain. He’d said he had no family. She hadn’t asked what had happened to them, but it seemed that whatever it was, he and his sister had very likely been on their own for a long time.
They’d been estranged, but at least they’d known the other was out there. Now, he was alone. Alone and responsible for a toddler he hadn’t known existed.
Jenna gave herself a mental shake. She didn’t need to dwell on Noah’s history, didn’t need to imagine it, and didn’t need to ask him about it. She was there for a job, nothing more. She would learn what she needed to know to take care of Alice, but that was it.
She couldn’t get close to Noah. Or Alice. Because one day—maybe soon—she would have to run.
And she didn’t need it to hurt more than it already would.
Chapter Six
As the days passed, Noah could breathe again. Having a toddler in his house for days on end without any help, other than his ability to search the internet or call the friends who’d said he could ask questions day or night, had been more nerve-wracking than he cared to admit.