But now he had Jenna, and Jenna didn’t seem to suffer any doubts about what to do with Alice.
He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t been at least a little concerned that he didn’t really know anything about her. He trusted his instincts though. Sure, he’d had a moment the first day he’d left her in his home with Alice when he’d wondered if he might return that afternoon to find she’d taken everything of value and left Alice high and dry in her crib.
Or, worse, had taken Alice with her.
But of course that hadn’t happened. He’d come home that afternoon to find Alice playing happily on the floor of the living room and something that smelled good coming from the kitchen. He’d had to stand inside the door for a full minute while he processed the domesticity of the scene.
Since that day, Jenna had done everything he’d hoped she would do for Alice. The little girl actually laughed now, though not often. She was less clingy, though she was still clingy whenever she thought Jenna was leaving her.
She’d quickly transferred her feelings of safety and security to Jenna. It didn’t bother him at all. In fact, he was grateful for it. He could leave in the mornings and not have a knot in his stomach because the child clung to him while he tried to leave her with a caretaker.
It was almost as if his life had returned to what it was before, except now he had two roommates who mostly functioned without him but were there whenever he was. It wasn’t unpleasant, though there were still toddler meltdowns that mystified him at times. He wasn’t entirely off the hook, either. He had to help Jenna when the child wanted to cling while she cooked or went to the bathroom. And sometimes Alice sobbed while he did that, which wasn’t the most pleasant thing in the world.
Still, he found himself looking forward to heading home at the end of the day and finding out what Jenna had made for dinner. Then he’d listen to her talk about her day and he’d hold Alice, who often wanted to be held when he walked in the door. That part was nice.
Jenna was a good cook, too. He was a decent cook himself, because he’d had to learn, but she seemed to actually enjoy it. Everything she made was done with Alice in mind, but it wasn’t kid food necessarily. She didn’t heat up chicken nuggets and fries and call it a day.
She cooked good food that everyone could eat, but cut it into bite-sized pieces for Alice. When he’d asked her once why she did it, she’d looked at him with her soft brown eyes and said that Alice would learn to eat what you fed her. If you constantly gave her hotdogs and chicken nuggets, then that’s what her palate would be. If you challenged her with a wide variety of foods, she’d likely grow up eating what adults ate without complaining that she wanted a kid’s meal in a nice restaurant. It wasn’t foolproof, because some kids were stubborn, but so far Alice was not.
Made sense to him. Not that he expected to raise Alice to adulthood. He hadn’t given up on the idea of finding a proper family for her, but one thing at a time. The first thing was to make her happy and comfortable now. He didn’t let himself dwell too much on what it would mean for her to change homes yet again. He couldn’t.
And, really, the next time would be for the best. It would be because he’d found a forever family for her where she’d have the life she deserved. He wouldn’t let her go into foster care, but he also wasn’t blind enough to think he could provide what she needed as she grew older.
“Hey, Eaze,” Gem said when they finished at the range for the day. “You want to come to Buddy’s with us for beers and darts?”
Gem jerked his head toward the opposite end of the range when he asked the question, and Noah followed his gaze. Ryder “Muffin” Hanson and Zane “Zany” Scott were the other two unattached operators on the team, besides Gem and Noah. They were packing up their gear and preparing to leave like everyone else. But whereas the other guys were headed home, Gem, Muffin, and Zany were going to Buddy’s Bar & Grill.
The entire Strike Team went from time to time, along with the fiancées and wives, but today wasn’t one of those days. Noah had often gone with the guys for a meal, because he hadn’t had anyone at home cooking for him, but it hit him that while he could go if he wanted, he had people to go home to. Hell, if he was lucky, Jenna had made something yummy.
He’d told her she didn’t have to cook for him, but she’d said that since she was cooking anyway, it wasn’t difficult to make sure she had enough for him. He secretly loved that she did it. When he’d learned she could cook, he’d kicked himself that he hadn’t made that one of the duties of her employment. It turned out he needn’t have worried. She cooked for him anyway.
“Nah, sorry. I can’t go today.”
Gem arched an eyebrow. “Want to get home to the nanny, huh?”
Noah forced himself not to react. “Actually, I do. I promised her that I’d watch Alice this evening while she has some personal time.”
He hadn’t, actually, but he’d promised her time to herself so it wasn’t unheard of that he’d have to babysit while she took him up on it.
Gem nodded. “Next time, huh?”
“Next time.”
They left the range and went to stow their gear. “She’s pretty,” Gem said. “Is she single?”
Noah gave his teammate a look. “She lives with me and takes care of a two-year-old. I don’t think a husband or boyfriend would appreciate that too much.”
“Yeah, probably right. But that could be good for you, huh?” He waggled his eyebrows.
Noah’s belly tightened. “Not even looking at her that way, Gem.”
The other man looked surprised. “Really? She’s under your roof, in your face—how can you not?”
“I didn’t say that I haven’t noticed her. I said I’m not looking at her that way.” He sighed as he tossed his range bag into his locker. He had another with his personal weapons, but this one contained work weapons. “I can’t afford to. If I start looking at her and she starts looking back, next thing you know we’re getting friendly. And if we get friendly, then there are expectations because she’s under my roof. And if I fail to meet the expectations because it’s just a hookup, then she might get mad enough to quit. Which means I’m back to square one, which means no nanny. So, no, I’m not looking at Jenna as anything but Alice’s nanny. She’s off limits—and that goes for everyone here,” he said, raising his voice so Muffin and Zany heard, too. “Just because she’s single, and just because you’re going to be seeing her more often at work events or if you come to my house, does not mean that I want you trying to hook up with her. You chase my nanny away, and I’m going to put a boot up your ass.”
Gem held up both hands in surrender. “Got it, dude. No flirting with the nanny. No hooking up. Friendly but distant.”
Muffin and Zany nodded in acknowledgement. Noah nodded once, firmly, the knot in his gut easing. “I appreciate it. I don’t mean to be a hard ass about it, but I tried for a solid week to find a nanny, and there were none available. Getting Jenna to take the job wasn’t a simple feat, and I’d rather not lose her now that I have her.”
“Understood. I guess she’s working out, then?”