He couldn’t help but grin despite the sadness that tried to grip his heart and soul. “Yeah, I am.” He shook his head and swore. “It’s crazy, but I think I love her. That damned fast. I mean I’ll do what I have to do to make sure she has the best life, but if I could have it be with me then, yeah, I’m ready to make it happen.”
“I don’t think it’s crazy. I think it’s wonderful.”
He frowned as he watched the flames flicker. “Realistically, a mom and dad would be better for her.”
“Not every kid gets a mom and dad,” Jenna said.
“I know. I only had a mom.” He raked a hand through his hair. “This is my night for confessions, apparently, because now I have to tell you that I only had a mom and she died of cancer when I was ten. That’s how I ended up in foster care. I can’t let that happen to Alice.”
“You won’t. Sally didn’t, did she?”
He shook his head. “No. Sally had her issues and her demons, but she was smart.” He toyed with her fingers, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. “You sure I can’t talk you into marrying me?”
“I don’t think you tried to talk me into it at all if you’re being honest about it.” She let go of his hand and leaned back, sipping her beer. “Why Steely Dan?”
She was right that he hadn’t tried very hard to talk her into marrying him. He’d proposed then didn’t understand why she wasn’t leaping at the opportunity to marry a guy like him with a good job and great benefits.
As if those were his most stellar qualifications. He hadn’t even acquainted her with what he could do with his tongue yet.
“I should have known a Tom Petty girl would recognize Steely Dan. My mom loved them. She used to sing their songs to me. I came to Tom later on my own, but Steely Dan was first. I don’t know why, but that was her band.”
“Not a bad choice. My mom was a fan too. Dad was as well, but Mom was the bigger fan. I heard plenty of their music growing up too.”
“Who was your favorite? You must have had one.”
“Maroon 5, of course. Adam Levine was so hot. Still is.”
“That skinny dude? Seriously?”
Jenna laughed. “Oh come on—his torso is as ripped as yours.”
“Hardly,” Noah said, enjoying teasing her. “He’s got a bunch of bad boy tattoos, I’ll grant you. But no. Just no.”
She was still laughing. “Okay, fine. He’s a sissy boy compared to you. Now tell me your favorite growing up.”
“3 Doors Down.”
“Oh, I liked them too,” she said softly. “Very angsty. “Kryptonite” was so good.”
“Yep. I needed an emotional outlet back then, and they were perfect. I liked “Kryptonite” like everyone else, but “Loser” was my theme song for a long time. I eventually learned to channel all that anger and self-hate into something good… And here I am.”
She stood abruptly and he thought she was going to go back inside. But then she was standing over him, gripping his face in both hands. A moment later, her lips crashed down on his.
Chapter Thirteen
She couldn’t take another moment.
Literally. Could. Not.
Noah Cross was an amazing man, and yet he had this shitty past that had made him and his sister into damaged human beings who hadn’t deserved what was done to them. He wasn’t a loser, and the fact he’d identified with that song so strongly as a kid made her ache. She knew the lyrics, and it gutted her to think of him playing that song on repeat, identifying with it.
Maybe that was the reason why she’d felt compelled to go to him, why she forced his head back, and why she kissed him. Why she was kissing him.
Whatever the reason, she didn’t want to stop. She wanted to sink into him and not come up for air until this humming beneath her skin had stopped.
Her tongue swept into his mouth and he groaned. He tasted a little like beer and a lot like heaven. Her heart pounded in her chest as her body sizzled. Her temperature was spiking into the danger zone.
He didn’t touch her at first, as if he expected her to come to her senses and stop, but then he did. And holy hell, she’d been insane to think she was the one in control. He wrapped strong arms around her and tugged her into his lap until she straddled him. She sank down, knees on either side of him, body trembling.
His belt buckle was hard—but his cock was harder where it snugged against the most sensitive part of her. If she jerked her hips back and forth just a tiny bit, she could make herself come from the pressure.
His broad hands splayed against her back, pulling her into him as his tongue met hers. Their mouths fused hotly, lips sucking and nipping, tongues thrusting, devouring.
His hands slid around to her front, cupping her breasts. He didn’t squeeze or grope or do anything that made her recoil. He gripped her firmly, his thumbs sliding across her nipples. Teasing lightly. Asking for permission to go farther.
Did she want to give it to him? She imagined herself climbing into Lola and driving away very soon—and, yes, she wanted Noah to touch her. Just once at least.
She jerked his shirt from his waistband and spread her hands on hot skin and firm muscle. He must have gotten the message because he unbuttoned her shirt with deft hands and pushed it open. Then he tugged the cups of her bra down until her breasts mounded over them, her nipples hardening into tight little peaks.
Her heart hammered as she explored his torso, tracing her fingers over all the ridges and dips of hard muscle. He broke the kiss and trailed his mouth down the column of her neck, over her collarbone, down the slope of her chest until his tongue darted over her nipple.
Her body was incandescent with heat. Arousal was an aching pain in her center as Noah sucked a nipple into his mouth and tugged lightly. Jenna gasped at the lightning streaking through her.
It’d been a long time since she’d had sex, and though a part of her brain told her she shouldn’t be doing this, another part said, What the hell? She liked the what the hell part best right now.
Noah sucked both nipples until she squirmed in his lap, until she craved the part of him he hadn’t given her yet. The part she could feel beneath her, insistently solid and real.
She’d given in and started moving her hips against him, riding that ridge of pleasure, when he took his mouth away. She didn’t realize it at first, until the night air on her wet nipples made her eyes pop open. He gently replaced the cups of her bra, covering her, as she stared down at him in disbelief.
His gaze was troubled when his eyes met hers. “You have no idea how much I want this,” he said. “How much I want you. But I feel like it’s taking advantage of the situation. I didn’t tell you about my past to soften you up for sex.”
Jenna blinked as fresh heat flooded her. This wasn’t the heat of arousal though. It was the combined heat of embarrassment and anger.
“I can make my own decisions, Noah.”
“I realize that, but can you tell me honestly that you would have made the same decision if I hadn’t just told you my sob story?”
She frowned as his words echoed through her head. “Maybe not at this very moment, but it’s not like you magically made me want you. That was already a thing.”