Me: No.
Trevor: I’m just trying to help. I know you’re struggling.
Me: Don’t worry about me. Shouldn’t you be hanging out with Bray?
Trevor: I am. We’re watching TV.
I roll my eyes and set down the phone, determined to ignore whatever messages come in until I’m off work. Another customer just walked in. I can see him from my peripheral while I fill a bucket of beers with ice then open all the tops. After delivering the beers to the group near the pool table, I walk back behind the bar to seek out my new customer while his gaze locks with mine.
“Shit.”
Apparently, Jamison didn’t take our goodbye on the ferry as seriously as I did. It’s only been a week, and he’s back in town, passing through San Juan Island, probably on his way to Orcas Island again. Lucky me.
He must have just gotten off work. He’s wearing a navy blue suit similar to the one I saw him in last week, only he’s wearing a gold tie today that brings out his eyes. I always loved Jamison’s eyes. The way the light catches on them to where gold specks appear.
“You know, they have bars on Orcas Island too. Classier ones that fit that prissy suit of yours.” The half insult, half tease comes out before I can even think it through.
He looks down at his outfit almost playfully. “You don’t like my suit?”
I shake my head, mortified. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
The corner of Jami’s mouth tips up in a crooked smile. “Looks like someone is having a good day.”
I groan. “And you’re here to make it better?”
He blinks. “I’m here to see you.”
Well, that was blunt. I wholeheartedly expected him to dance around his reasons for being here. “I could have guessed that much.”
“You never answered my question.”
“Why the secrecy?” He can’t let it go.
I sigh and look around to make sure my customers aren’t trying to get my attention. To my disappointment, everyone seems to be perfectly happy. “I’m working, Jami. I really can’t get into all that right now.”
“When do you get off?”
For a second, I think I might have heard him wrong. “Jami—”
“When do you get off?” The way he asks it again, so coolly, like he won’t take no for an answer, reminds me far too much of our days growing up.
He always felt the need to protect me—mentally, emotionally, physically. And while I look back and think about how overbearing it all seemed to others, I loved every second of it. He was like my own personal bodyguard, reminding everyone around us who they’d have to deal with if anyone ever messed with me.
I blink back at him before swallowing. “Midnight.”
He nods. “Then I’ll wait.”
Panic pings around my chest like it’s in a pinball machine. “But you’ll miss the ferry.”
“They can manage without me until tomorrow.”
Tilting my head, I assess my old best friend with amusement. “And where will you stay tonight?”
His lip twitches in an almost smile. “Don’t worry, Vi. I’m not inviting myself over. I booked a room at the lodge.”
My heart twists, and my throat tightens. I don’t understand what he’s doing here. After all that happened between us, he should be the last person waiting for me to get off work simply because he’s curious. It makes absolutely no sense, but I’d be lying if I said his presence didn’t thrill me. Maybe I’m curious too. I never stopped missing my best friend. And I never stopped beating myself up for ruining what could have been.
“Suit yourself.” I push back from the bar. “Can I get you something while you wait?”
“Just water.”
Nodding, I go back to work, tending to every other customer before even attempting to get Jami water. I can’t even imagine what I’ll tell him about my secret when the time comes, but avoiding the subject has become impossible. There’s not a chance he’ll let this go until I tell him everything.
Which means I need to tell him that Trevor and I didn’t last, which will only open up a portal to our past, and that is something I’ll never be prepared for.
I wasn’t Jami’s only best friend growing up. As popular as the Bexley boys were in our small town, Jami was by far the star of them all—an honor roll student, the star of the soccer team, and king socialite at all after-school events. Everyone wanted to be Jami’s friend. But thanks to bonding with Jami over soccer and all the work he did at the Bexleys’ camp, Trevor claimed that coveted best-friend spot, as far as guys went. Unfortunately, that friendship ended too.
When I return with Jami’s water, his eyes are tracking my every movement. It’s possible they never left me. His stare has always been so intense, like there are a million thoughts going on inside his beautiful head. I’m sliding his water over to him when his gaze dips down to my cleavage.
“My eyes are up here.”
His lids flip up, and his bright golden gaze meets mine, causing my heart to pound furiously in my chest.
“That reminds me of the first time we kissed.” he says.
My skin feels like it’s on fire. The memory blasts through my mind, like it had already been queued up and ready for the replay. I’ll never forget that day at the dock when I never wanted to stop kissing my best friend. I was so confused at the fact that I craved his kiss long after it ended. But he’s getting our history twisted.
When I catch my breath, I match his stare with a challenging one of my own. “That wasn’t our first kiss.”
“Bullshit.” He glares. “I remember all too well. You wanted me to teach you how.”
“You offered to teach me, but that was just a practice kiss. It doesn’t count.”
His gaze darkens. “You’re telling me our first kiss was that night you left the Winslows’ party in the rain and I came after you? That was two years later.”
Another heat wave rolls through me. “You didn’t have to kiss me that night.”
Jamison’s jaw ticks, and his eyes flare with anger that brings me right back to that day. “Yes, I fucking did.”
I know he’s remembering my tears from embarrassment when I opened the coat closet and found my boyfriend at the time shoving his tongue down some out-of-towner’s throat. But it was the hand up her skirt while she writhed against it that made me sick to my stomach.
“I wanted to kill that little fucker. I almost did.”
My smile can’t be stopped. “So you pity kissed me instead.”
“That’s not how I remember it. There was no pity in that kiss.”
“Well, either way, I thought it was sweet.”
His smile matches mine. “Want to know what I was thinking during that kiss?”
Laughing, I shake my head. “That was forever ago. You couldn’t possibly remember.”
He shrugs. “Yeah, well, I do. I was thinking about what a great teacher I was because that was by far the best kiss I’d ever had.”
Emotion swells in my chest, and I tip my head. “Jami…” His name is all I say. I’m not sure if I can manage more. All I want to do is apologize, but there’s no apology that can take back the pain I caused.