Was Jack right? Had Gray only told her what he thought she wanted to hear? Because seeing the way he’d faced Beckett minutes ago had her wondering if Jack was right. Was Gray faking it for the sake of not just the mission but for her benefit? Always putting others first, that was him.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked in defeat, and Jack worked his eyes to her face.
“Griffin and Savanna couldn’t keep their hands off each other on that op despite orders to do so. And you know the story with Jesse and Ella. But if you care about Gray, you’ll refrain from mixing business and pleasure with Beckett while operating together.”
“Done,” she answered. Zero hesitation. She and Beckett had already made the decision to do so. And considering she barely knew him, she needed time to process her feelings for Beckett. “You don’t believe me?” She angled her head, trying to get a read on his blank expression.
“Carter asked you and Beckett to share a hotel room starting tomorrow,” Jack began, “so no, I don’t.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
“I promise everything will be okay,” Sydney told Levi over the phone an hour after Gray and Griffin had left the safe house for the airport. They’d be back soon, and she wanted to check in on her son before solely focusing on the mission.
“Alice had dinner here tonight,” Levi whispered. “Dad’s trying to turn us into a family. But Alice stopped being family the day she betrayed you.”
Sydney dropped onto the bottom bunk in the bedroom, careful not to whack her head on the bed above her.
“We’ll figure it out when I come home,” she forced out in as steady a voice as possible. “Will you put your dad on the phone?” Seth had left five messages since his marriage announcement yesterday, and she hadn’t had the stomach to call him back before now.
“Sure. Don’t forget . . .”
“Stay safe, I know.” She smiled even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I love you.”
“Love you more,” he said before calling for Seth.
She set her free hand on her thigh, bracing herself for the rest of the conversation.
“I’ve called you a half dozen fucking times, Sydney,” Seth bit out the moment he picked up the line.
“Whiskey. Tango,” Levi began, enunciating each word in the background in a low voice, “Foxtrot. Daaaad.”
“That shit works with your mom, but not me. Get in your room,” Seth snapped, his tone sharp. It had Sydney back on her feet, ready to go to bat for her son. All day. Every day.
“Give him hell, Mom. You have my permission,” was the last thing Levi said, and she heard his angry steps fading in the background.
“Oh, you need permission to be a bitch to me now, huh?”
Who the hell was he right now? He never talked to her like that. Even when they fought in the past, he wasn’t that much of an asshole. Was this Alice’s doing? Was she trying to place an even greater wedge between them? Was she worried he might cheat on her the way he’d cheated on Sydney?
“Have you been drinking?” That was the only possible explanation for his insane behavior. Historically, he didn’t handle his liquor well. Maybe he was anxious about having Alice over for dinner with Levi and had one too many.
“I’ve been on edge since I shared the engagement with you yesterday, and you hung up on me. So yeah, I’m drinking. Not your problem.”
“It is my problem when my son is at your house and I’m relying on you to take care of him.” She paced the length of the small room between the two bunk beds.
“He’s your son now, is he? Never mind the fact I adopted him ten years ago. Raised him like my own. His biological father’s only contribution was to knock you up during a one-night stand.”
Sydney stopped walking and did her best to pull herself together. “Levi’s father never had a chance to be in his life. He died serving our country, so don’t you dare disrespect him like that.” Torn between rage and tears, she curled the fingers of her free hand into her palm and set her fist over her heart. Fighting hadn’t been her intention, and she probably wouldn’t have made the call if she’d known Seth had been drinking.
“I’m sorry,” Seth surprised her by saying, his voice softer this time. “I shouldn’t have said that. I’m just mad.”
“And why exactly are you mad at me?” she asked, keeping her fist firmly to her chest. When he didn’t elaborate, and she heard the swish of liquid, she realized he was drinking straight from the bottle. Perfect. “You’re marrying my ex-best friend, the woman you cheated on me with. Hell, she’s trying to take my life from me. Has the nerve to even wear my perfume. If anything, I should be upset with you.”
“I bought her that perfume.”
Wait, what? “Why would you do that?” Did he realize how insane he sounded right now, liquor or not?
“Because I . . . because I miss the way our home used to smell. How you smell.” He’d gone from sounding angry to a wounded animal in a matter of seconds.
Annnd I need to sit again. “You hate me. Cheated on me. You’re marrying someone else. Why do you miss how I smell?” She shook her head. “This is the alcohol.” But had he been drunk when he bought Alice the Tom Ford Lost Cherry perfume too?
“The person you’ve become since we divorced is the woman I always wanted you to be.” He sighed. “Why’d you become her now? Why not when we were together?”
You’ve got to be kidding me.
“I always thought you were cheating on me while you were traveling. Your dad had you working in all those exotic locations during our marriage, and I just assumed . . .”
“Not this again,” she whispered. “I didn’t cheat. And your what-if scenarios about me were no excuse for what you did.” This conversation was way heavier than she’d anticipated it would be. She’d planned to say, Marry Alice, I don’t care. But make sure every decision you make is okay with Levi first, but this . . . THIS? What was this conversation? What was happening right now?
“I miss you,” Seth slurred.
A humorless chuckle fell from her lips, but her stomach dropped right along with the fake laugh. “That’s the alcohol talking. You don’t mean any of this.”
Not that it changed anything. But first Gray and now Seth.
What were the chances?
He was quiet for a moment before adding, “I’m sorry for calling you a bitch, or well, alluding to you being like one.” And then the line went dead.
Sydney stared at the phone in her hand, trying to grasp what had happened. From Levi yelling at his dad to Seth professing she’d become the woman he’d always wanted her to be.
So, she hadn’t been good enough for him then? But I am now?
She wasn’t sure how long she sat in a daze after tossing her phone on the bed, but at some point she’d found herself in the nearest bathroom to check her eyes. To ensure they weren’t bloodshot before facing one more man tonight. The only man she wanted to see. And he’s off-limits. Well, for now.
She went in search of the room Beckett had selected, unsure if he was still there, and found him two doors down, alone on a bottom bunk with his head in his hands.