“You told him I was your girlfriend?”
“Not in those words, but in others that very much meant I’m seeing you and only you.”
I can hear her grin in her voice as she speaks. “Fine. I’ll play along, Adler.”
“What do you mean? You’re being a weirdo,” I tease, and she laughs.
“I’ll play along,” she laughs. “I’ll tell everyone in so many words that you’re my boyfriend.”
I snort. “What the hell?”
“Exactly. Just call it what it is. You’re my boyfriend, Evan.”
“I know that, Calliope, and you’re my girlfriend,” I answer back, and I’m grinning like a fucking fool. “That was really over the top.”
“Totally,” she agrees, and we both laugh. “So, a run?”
“I’d love to run with you.”
“Great. Meet you in the spot? Thirty minutes?”
“Sounds good,” I say, and then my phone sounds with another call. “Owen is calling. I’ll meet you in a bit.”
“Cool. See ya.”
I switch over and answer. “Hey, what’s up?”
“Nothing much. Just checking in. Did you have the meeting with Jayden yet?”
“Just got out,” I say as I head toward the house. “Went well. He was true Jayden, supportive and shit.”
“Good. I figured he would be. He wasn’t mad?”
“Not at all. He said he would have hired me no matter what, because of my character.”
“You’re a great guy. Everyone knows that.”
“Thanks, bro.”
“I’m not lying,” he reminds me, and I know he’s not. Owen doesn’t kiss ass. He is who he is, and I admire that. “Paxy just told me you have an appointment with her this afternoon. I’m glad you’re going back to her.”
“I don’t think she gave me much choice,” I say, and he laughs. “Plus, I feel like I’m at my healthiest with her.”
“She’s the bomb—and hot, to boot.”
“Since I don’t want to get my ass kicked, I won’t comment on my future sister-in-law’s attractiveness.”
“Smart man,” he says, laughing. “Speaking of hot girls, how’s your little Calliope?”
I grin as I enter the house, greeting some of the guys. “Real good. We’re about to meet to go running.”
“Yes, running is great, especially to get those engines going for the second part of cardio.”
His laughter is annoying as I roll my eyes. “I have class, as does she.”
“Boring. Remember, you’ve got to make time for sexy time now that you’ve gotten a taste.”
“I am getting my fill, thanks.”
“Thank God! So, give me the deets. When and where?”
He may annoy the hell out of me and he is so outrageous, but he is my brother. He’s the one person I know I can talk to about this, and he’ll know how to direct me. As much as it kills me to admit, he’s the pro in this situation. I don’t want to be the sucky one out of the five guys Callie has been with. I know I said I wouldn’t let it get to me, but I tossed and turned all night, trying to figure out if I really pleased her. I guess since she called, I did something right.
As I change, I put him on speakerphone and tell him about the night before. He listens and cheers me on like the dork he is, and he even praises me for not having sex without a condom. As if I need that praise. I was a virgin, not an idiot. “I’m a little worried, though. She’s been with four guys before me.”
“So?” he asks. “Listen, I’ve seen your dick. I’m still jealous you got some of my inches. And I can promise you, no one is slinging the kind of equipment you are.”
I pause. “There was a lot to that sentence that needs to be discussed but also completely ignored.”
He laughs. “For real. I promise, though, you’re already better than them.”
I roll my eyes. “I don’t know. So, I’m going down on her, and I’m like, am I even doing this right? Should I have opened her up more and played with her vagina? I was very confused. It’s a lot when you get down there.”
I’m met with silence, of course. He’s probably muted me to laugh. “Okay, so I’m gonna send you some good porn, okay? But really, there is only one thing you gotta do.”
I wait, and when he doesn’t say it, I impatiently ask, “Okay? What?”
“You know Winnie the Pooh, right?”
Confused, I say, “Yeah?”
“Eat her pussy the way he eats his honeypot,” he says simply and with no laughter. “Put your whole face in that sucker and drown yourself in her juices.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“Yes, get her to scream that. You gotta lick, suck, finger, nibble, anything and everything until she is basically moving away from your mouth. And when she does, grab her by her ankles, pull her back, and do it again until she is having convulsions.”
I blink, unable to put my shirt on since I am stunned by my brother’s words. “I don’t know how I feel about you comparing eating out my girlfriend to Winnie the Pooh and his honeypot.”
“Bro, I’m telling you,” he vows, and then he yells, “Hey, Pax! Aren’t I good at eating that sweet pussy of yours?”
I hear laughter before she says, “Depends. If I say no, do I get it now? Because if I say yes to stroke your ego— Oh my God! Are you on the phone?”
He laughs, and I chuckle as I put my shirt on. “Yes. I’m telling Evan how to eat out his girlfriend.”
I can only imagine Angie’s face. “How are you telling him you do it?”
“I said Winnie the Pooh and his honeypot,” he says in a deep voice, and I feel kind of dirty right now.
“That’s a good one. But also, I’ve seen you eat a peach, and it’s the same way. You inhale me.”
“Ooh, I do. Yeah. So imagine it’s a peach, and you gotta get to that pit. The pit being her convulsing and singing your name.”
“I don’t know how I feel about this conversation,” I say, and he laughs.
“Hey, I’m always here for ya.”
“Yeah, didn’t know it would be for this, though,” I say, chuckling, and he laughs along with me.
“Hey, get off the phone,” I hear Angie say, and Owen snickers.
“See, all I gotta do is talk about getting between her legs, and she’s begging. Make Callie your honeypot or sweet peach, Evan. Or hell, a honey-covered peach that’s at the bottom of the pot. Whatever inspires you, really. Just do it, okay? Don’t let me down.”
With that, he hangs up. No goodbye or anything, leaving me completely and utterly traumatized by our conversation. Never in my life did I think we would discuss something like that. But in a way, I’m thankful. My goal is to be as confident as he is, but also, now I have to make it a goal not to look between Callie’s legs and see a honeypot or a peach. Pretty damn sure that’s gonna happen. One thing is for sure, though. I’ll take his advice. And maybe I’ll get lucky enough to drive Callie just as crazy as Angie is for Owen.