“You don’t think the other coaches will respect him because he’s young,” Stone hypothesizes.
Baden shrugs. “They’re old school. Bill, Maurice, Sam… I think it would be tough on them, especially if they’re not considered for the position.”
That’s something to think about. Because while I’m not sure I want to continue playing, I definitely see myself staying in Pittsburgh. During the short time I’ve been here, I’ve come to love this city, but moreover, Jenna is here. She’s starting a career she’s enjoying, and I would never ask her to leave. There’d be nothing for her back in my small hometown, and I’m not all that tied to Seattle.
But those are thoughts for another day. While I hope to fuck I’m wrong, there’s a chance I could lose Jenna before I even had her. If she’s too afraid to step into this fully with me, there’s no way we can grow.
Regardless, I’m a patient man, and I’ll give her time. Love may have bloomed quick and strong between us, but it’s also an adjustment. For Jenna, she must learn to accept how I feel about her and understand that nothing else matters. For me, I must get used to the strength of these feelings and slow down on wanting everything right at this moment.
Again… patience, but it’s hard when I want to experience everything with her right now.
“Assuming you’re going to Darius’s party tonight?” I ask the guys as we head out of Baden’s office.
“Yeah, we’re in,” Baden says. “Sophie’s not overly excited to have to socialize with Aneta and her group, but she’s excited about dressing up. She’s been cooped up far too long in her house, and I dare say she’s sick of wearing comfortable clothes.”
“I can imagine.” Stone chuckles. Sophie had her own demons to conquer after the attack she and Baden suffered last year, but she’s slowly coming out of her shell. That means there’s hope for Jenna.
“Harlow and I are going,” Stone says.
“First major outing as a couple,” I remark. “It’s good… the team getting to know our significant others. It’s just another way to strengthen bonds.”
“Speaking of couples and significant others…” Baden playfully punches my shoulder. “I assume you’re bringing Jenna?”
“I don’t know,” I admit glumly. Baden and Stone stop in their tracks to turn toward me.
“Why not?” Stone inquires.
“She’s still pretty bothered about the thing with Keller.”
Baden frowns. “The comments he made about her?”
“Yeah. It’s made her more self-conscious and unsure of herself. She’s got to work through it.”
We start walking again, heading for the exit to the parking garage. Baden says, “She knows we’ve all got her back, right? She obviously knows you do and trusts you, but she has to know Sophie and I are in her corner.”
“Harlow and I too,” Stone says.
“She knows it. Brienne has been really great too. She’s offered a lot of positive reinforcement. But it’s more than just Keller. A lot of people abandoned her after her injuries. Jenna’s learning to trust again, but it’s fragile. I think Keller just dinged it up a bit, is all. But I have faith in her.”
“You love her,” Stone says in a singsong voice, and I can tell he’s trying to embarrass me into denial so he can tease me further.
No denying my feelings, though. “Damn right, I love her. And she loves me too. What we have is some fated shit.”
Baden barks a laugh, and Stone claps me on the back. “Own it, dude. Love is some powerful mojo.”
My phone rings just as we push open the door to the parking garage, and my heart leaps when I see it’s Jenna. I left her at her apartment a few hours ago.
“Give me a minute,” I say to the guys as I stay by the door, and they continue toward Baden’s car. I connect the call. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she says, and I can hear her nervousness in that one word.
Being me, I want to swoop in and ease her suffering. “I’m glad you called. I missed the sound of your voice.”
She lets out a quavering laugh. “Charmer.”
“Always.”
“I wanted to apologize,” she gushes in a tumble of words. “I’m being stupid and overly cautious. Yeah, things are scary, but you’re the one person who has repetitively shown me how unscary the world can be when I open myself to it. I don’t want to disappoint you—”
“—you are not disappointing me—”
“—and I want to be everything you want me to be.”
“I want you to be what you want to be, Jenna,” I assure her.
She inhales, the sound coming through clear. When she lets out the breath, her voice is steady and calm. “I want to be yours, in all ways. I want to be by your side when you need me. I want to be there even when you don’t need me. I want to face my fears knowing full well they aren’t as scary because I have you, even if I falter, knowing you’ll be there to steady me. I thought a lot about what you said this morning.”
“I said a lot of things this morning,” I point out.
“A lot of good things,” she agrees. “But specifically, you told me you had expectations of me. You said you expected someone like me—who has courage and determination—to figure a way to get past my fears and own up to my true self. And, well… no one has ever really put an expectation on me like that. There’s been a lot of love, support, gentle encouragement. I’ve been led by the hand a lot of the way on this journey, but you actually put the ball in my court and said… I expect you to do this.”
“I didn’t mean that to come off so high-handed,” I rush to assure her.
“No, it wasn’t like that at all. It came across like you have the utmost confidence in me. That if I couldn’t move past those fears, I wasn’t letting you down, I was letting myself down. And that all sort of clicked and made sense. Plus, I called Emory, and she told me I was being an idiot.”
I chuckle at the exasperation in her tone. “I really like your sister.”
“Well, she really likes you, too, and doesn’t want to see me screw this up. So if the invitation is still there, I’d like to be your date for this evening.”
“The invitation to be my date is always there and will never be available to anyone else,” I say. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“No,” she says emphatically. “I’ll meet you there. Actually, Sophie and I are going this afternoon to shop for dresses, do the hair and makeup thing, all that. We’ll meet you and Baden at the party.”
For a moment, I don’t know what to say. My first reaction is to insist she not go to any great lengths as she’s perfect the way she is. But then I realize her voice is brimming with excitement about doing these beautifully girly things with Sophie, and I know it will be great for both of them.
“Okay, then,” I murmur in a low voice. “You know I’m going to be distracted all day, wondering what you’re going to look like when you show up. Do you think any of that shopping might include lacy undergarments?”